A beating heart

Her broken heart is in pieces. I can't stick them together again. I can't hold her tears nor protect her from the weather so glim. Her lips are dry as she sits in pain. Her mind keeps wandering as she drenched her body in the rain to hide her sadness. These feelings of being lost causes the madness. Gladness seems far as her body aches for a hug. Her soul seems barren as she longs for love. The smell of her hair is now left without care. Whispering I love you in here ears isn't a possibility of getting there. She knows she needs me and I do too. Difficult part is making her know that I have a clue. She breaks my heart and I'm glad she does coz I accept that emotion with utmost love. She gives me sorrow knowing I can withstand pain.  She knows I love her yet can't be with her ever again. Her skin longs for my fingers and touch. She looks back at the memories and like me misses me as much. She last held me 9 years ago as I said goodbye. We parted ways and unlike me she failed to cry. Today I stay strong coz she built up my soul, she gave me a gift called love that over which we both have no control. I crave not her body, but I feel her pain, I desire not her kiss, but wish to hear her voice again. I dream not of her beating heart, but I know her fantasy.  I have her not as my wife but she knows if not for her mistake we were meant to be. The only thought that passes through my mind is hers. Those are the memories that bring tears. Yet the fear she drives out of my life. She has my heart and always will even though I know she wears his ring. I dare not say I miss her nor do I tell myself I love and care. I look at my chest in the mirror listening to the sound of my beating heart. Knowing you were once there when we did start. Here is the funny part, it's still beating and I have not a clue why my heart beats profusely fast when I think back of my favorite memories with you.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Memories

Her beautiful smile gets me weary. The touch of skin gets me teary. I nearly died the day she said yes. Little did I know she and I would face a cruel test. The best of her beauty and the worst of my anger kept us apart. Our fights left us shattered with broken hearts. She could kiss me all day and tell me she cares. I'd walk away from her silence and give her a scare. The only thing that clamped to my soul. Was her in my life and marrying her was my goal. Her listening to the sound of my beating heart with her head on my chest. My nose buried in her hair was my treasure creast.  Her name on my lips as my presence on her mind. I'd run my fingers on her face as if a man who's blind.  Fragile and frail was her heart and body in my arms. Her soul I could read throughout the years of time so calm. The joy in her eyes sparkle like stars in the sky. Tis a moment to thank the Lord for not letting me die. I always thought she'd never be stolen, I cherish those moments so golden. Now I'm rendered speechless and have been in a position where I think and at my reflection stare. I wish we had always been there, with her heart to love and care for the future. Losing her is indeed a torture. I know she's glad I'm not in her life I see her happy as someone else's wife. I am not sad, but know that love doesn't exist. Something we misinterpreted from just a simple kiss. I kneel before God and pray for your happiness and peace. I just remember all the moments of these.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The purpose of a heart

A heart is special and it's ability to love is unique.  It craves replication from the one it once did seek. The heart cannot rest but it's put to the test. The scars remain to remind us of our mistakes. Holding someone special inside all throughout our lives. Your soul connected so all you do is care. Even a broken heart doesn't remain bare. Yet we walk this earth desolate and destroyed. Remembering the moments of Joy, you toy with the memories keeping all the good. Forgiving the other person forgetting the bad things like you should.  Peace fills your body as you now learn to progress. Kindness fills your heart and you remain blessed. Locked away are the memories of things you once did hate.  henceforth happiness is no longer your fate. Destiny and karma are enemies of the heart. Foes so bitter that ways they dare not pass. You long for time to stop it's hands wishing they'd be turned back in a few. Stopping your heart from breaking and making things new. The heart maybe scared but on power it stands still, beating effervescently with love in abundance to till. The broken heart is able to love the most. As we've already felt the pain, but long to hold that person again.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Everlasting Love

Her persona is a remarkable phrase. Her smile makes me feel like glorious are my days. She used to secretly stare thinking I wouldn't notice. I'd smile to myself post this. Her hair falls across her face, she walks by me with an air of grace. Her beauty leaves me speechless sometimes and my mind out of place. My palm fits perfectly to hold her face. She closes her eyes with a smile, all I can do is kiss her forehead and hold her tight. Her bright radiance lights up her eyes and also my life. She was to wear my ring and be my wife. Perceptions change as the hands of time too. I think of the moments spent with her so true. Her name given to her as a child, remains on my lips all my life. Someone once told me to never care, never be hopeful, thinking she's always there.  Never wonder when she will come back. That's a heap of crap.  She won't come back and all you do is gloom. She swept you off your feet for years like dust to broom. You remain a memory and not her groom. I still ponder with anxiousness and care about things that render and linger in the past. If I see her again I wouldn't want her fingertips on my mask. For her tears I'm no longer permitted to catch, but my love for her is like a inhuman spirit on to a body which it's latched.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Another lifetime

Her happiness is so well perceived.  Her beauty is easy on your eyes to appeal. Your duty is to love her.  As she opens her eyes every morning, care and compassion every breath you take dawning.  Jewels of the heavens placed here on earth.  Yet you live everyday berserk without her presence all around.  You seek her grace, her face has your fingertips to trace. Her heart bigger than an ocean view so bold. You hold her tight throughout the cold stormy night.  You fight against her will and stubborn behavior to tell her your there. You walk by her side with love and care.  She is your best getaway and puts your worries at ease. Her lips with your name to whisper is a tease. Like the moon she shines bright and pushes your darkness away. Your demons tremble with fear of her name as they get slain.  She holds your head on her lap to help you find peace. Her fondest memories of you puts her to ease. Without her you're back to the shell of a man that once lived.  She is your refuge that makes things easier than ever before.  You regret the day you walked out the door. You count the stars and hope she does too, does she miss and still love you? Those are thoughts that so often linger. After all these years between my hands I can still feel her gentle fingers. Love is a decision one so often does choose. Hate is something we always refuse. She is but gone, yet I cherish all the years of being together. I feel like it's a passing cloud of bad weather. One-day she shall return and we will continue our journey a new. Till that lifetime comes I shall continue loving you.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The hardest choice

The easiest thing to do is love someone, the memories of old and all the good fun. You stand in silence and think about the love and care. The moments and promises of always being there. Gruesome were the fights, and like unholy sinners we'd swear. A hug from me to say 'your not going any f***ing where'. The moments I treasured were the ones where you'd get irritated and pout. I'd wait anxiously to hear you shout. A knock across my head and you'd say 'shut your mouth baby'. Wishing I could turn back time 'maybe'. You'd hold me close as soon as I turn off the lights and sing you to sleep. It's only coz the darkness scared you helplessly.  I remember the moments when you'd hold my hand, was never planned that you'd show the world for eachother we'd always be there. Those beautiful brown eyes would leave me in awe to stare. Her beautiful hair was a comfort even on my face. The smell of her skin and perfume left me with my feet to trace.  Her heart never found hatred no matter how angry we turned. For eachothers embrace we'd  always yearn. We would always learn to love in ways we would find hard to explain. Through the heartache and pain. Her voice brought peace of mind to my soul. She was my treasure I long to once again hold. With utmost commitment and precision she's always going to care. Walking away is never easy to do with her and me making promises to always be there. It's easy to love yet, hard to walk away. That's always been the hardest choice I made even till this day. I look myself in the mirror shattered as I stare. True love if let go can always leave you bear.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A broken heart of love

The heart keeps bearing emotions it tries to perceive. Whether it's happiness, or whether it's grief. The joy of loving somebody gently and mild. Embracing her in your arms like child. It gives you sorrow as you wipe her tears during a fight. It gives you hatred towards a person that can't make things right. It gives you love to treasure, it beats faster with pleasure as you kiss her forehead and hold her tight. It gives you the ability to create wonders and take her breathe away. It gives you the compassion you need to always be there for her in everyway. It let's you categorize the fact that she's important and she open her eyes to watch you admire her beauty so near. She is the woman you love and hold so dear. The heart creates fear, and breaks if you feel she might leave. So it gives us the opportunity to make certain we weave this boundary of love to keep her close. Anyone who tries to steal her would have a broken nose. She is your favorite song the lyrics embedded in your heart. When you look into her beautiful brown eyes that song is on replay. Blessed are the people who treasure love and never fail to understand how difficult it is to part. Tis a privilege and honor to own a beautiful woman's heart.  For she could keep any man in there to cherish and care. Instead she's chooses you to love and let's you near. Without any fear she gives up her soul, for her heart tells her this is the man with whom she may grow old.  She molds herself to your whims and fancies.  And she doesn't take much of the chances so she doesn't want to let you go else she will perish. When you own a woman's heart it's meant to be cherished. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks