The Unspoken

When the sun rises, she wakes up and chases her dreams. When the sun sets she lives with no regrets, till she thinks about the past. Her heart beats faster at the sound of his name even if someone does ask. She touches her hand to remind herself if it's real. Doesn't seem like the same or as much as it should seem. She clutches her pillow and a flurry of tears flow like a stream. As years have past by she misses his soul. Love is a great feeling up until it lasts, you think so much and it's a hurting past. She curls up her body just like a ball and wears fake smiling mask. She pictures him by her bedside standing tall. She wonders if he is happy and prosperous at all. She still wishes the best for him with her heart and soul not knowing why does she feel. He looks out his window as he gulps down the last drop of whiskey from the bottle to douse his sorrow. He misses her which leaves him hollow. He doesn't cry and keeps to himself. We walks away from people and thinks this way is the best for the situation to be dealt. She melted each time he said he cared. Her heart skipped a beat when he'd give her a scare. Her skin on his fingertips was like a drug coursing through his veins. Her bites on him never gave him any pain. His arms around her was comforting and true. They loved each other and did not have a clue. From friends to close pals but lovers they did not become. She searched for her heart to be stolen by someone. Tis but a shame, he stole it first, his silence was nothing but his awful curse. She found someone new and that broke his heart knowing that they now will always be apart. He avoided her and kept his door closed. No matter how many times she knocked he'd wait for her to go. He didn't want her to be unhappy because of his interference of so. How much they loved eachother heaven did know. To grow old together was his dream, to wear his ring was a reality on which she was keen. Her silence made this a nightmare for all to be see. She finally decided to tell him how she felt and how much she cared. She strolled over to his house and knocked on his door terrified and scared, not knowing what she will find. His door flew open and into his arms she found comfort once again for a significant time. It was the same they held eachother and did not say a word. She placed her head on chest as he knew he won over his special girl. They never woke up the next morning and they were found dead after a week. Love is something most of us seek. It's not a poem that is for the meek, if you love someone don't bite your tongue. Tell her you love her and enjoy every moment you can son. Death comes to visit as our souls we can never own, tell her you love her and how your feelings for her have grown.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Ashes to Ashes love to dust

She sits by the window and watches the blue sky. Tears stream down her face yet she has no clue how beautiful she looks with that smile and grace. With him not around to catch every tear, chase away her biggest fear, hold her near when she is but weak. His love she still does seek, she felt pain and anger when he left, she knew nothing would put their love to the best. She is at best without him near, but things like this can never be clear. She watches a pair of birds perched on the windowsill, she knows her heart beats for him still. She remembers his touch, and craves for his love his determination and will. She could do with another fight and argument to see him again. Her brown hair always has been to him an aroma so dear. Her brown eyes lit up a room when she was near. Her lips would speak volumes and he'd lend his ear and listen. He hated all her emotional hugging and kissing. Her memories now fade as reality takes place. She finds herself in a familiar trace by the window and gazing at the sky and the birds. Her heart broke years ago with the news she heard. He wasn't a nerd but he loved reading books, she finished each and every one on that shelf as you look. His absence made her disbelieve in love, commitment and promises which says forever. She now knows those were but a myth. She waited by the phone, and it not ringing was not a gift. Her hopes of him walking through the door blinded her rationality some more. As she overlooked the news paper clip of his tragic death. He wasn't coming back as with an accident he met. She couldn't believe that he was gone, she sat by window and listened everyday to his favourite songs. Like a gong it rings in her soul, as tears down her cheeks do roll. She thinks of his life and how she has to live without him now. As her cries echo and her howl reaches the heavens during the day. "Why Lord did you take him away". Life is cruel in every way, cherish what you have and love what you must. One day we shall all return to the dust. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

I'll never love again

A heart is the most precious treasure one must cherish. If it does break a person's soul does perish. All you are left with is memories you caress, as you failed this test. Walking away didn't solve the problem or heal the pain. Staying silent didn't help in anyway but made you go insane. Then you sit and wonder I wish I could've said goodbye, hold your hand and kiss you one last time. Instead I walked away turned my head never to look down your path again. I never thought about your feelings, I was young and stupid as could be. And you were a girl growing up to love me. I broke her heart in two and cried silently for you. We both look back at the memories and you try to save a part of me. I can't feel someone else's touch, I can't tolerate someone else's lips. I can't find those goosebumps through another person's finger tips. Your name falls constantly off my lips, I lose my mind trying so hard to make my life stick. I can't give my heart away to another stranger, as the danger is I've lost my soul. Now all I find is fool's gold. I can't hold on too long to someone else's body as I try to embrace. My heart takes me back to you like the end of a maze. The phase I thought it was for all those years, was actually love in disguise. Life plays these tricks with me all the time. I still go through your pictures and see how better off you are without me. But the look in your eyes says you still miss and wish I was him. I stay away cause adultery is a sin. I never let another day begin without you running in my thoughts of you and your kin. I remain in darkness and don't let the sunlight in. Cause I can't love again, it's hard for me to find someone else who is exactly like you. I left behind a flurry of broken hearts and bad karma to follow my name me without a clue. Indeed my soul is lost I can never love again, cause everywhere I search I look for a little bit of you in that someone new.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Remember her that way

The ocean always brought about a calm. As the waves hit the rocks and yet to me brought on no harm. He looked at the horizon, and knew she was his poison. She'd creep up beside him and hug him to show she cared. To lose her would make him mortality scared. He dared to venture on this path called love, knowing the destination would be uncertain and for the worst. He wandered deep in her love and till today his broken heart he does curse. Like mercury his hands would slither through the lines of her face. Tracing every inch of her skin, he'd kiss her forehead and close his eyes knowing very well she was his sin. An angel of beauty with hair as long as the vines of a creeper. Brown as the leaves of autumn upon a tree which made his love for her grow deeper. Her eyes pierced through his soul and his spirit fell asleep. When she walked out the door his eyes could only weep. She was never his and yet his lips speak her name. He talks about her to himself and has only himself to blame. The memories flash by like a book of fairytales to a child. His heart now broken and he roams the earth free and wild. Mild is the feeling of emotions that beats within his soul. She isn't around anymore for him to lovingly hold. Her lips now kiss another while he saves his for his last. He can't look towards a future as he is stuck dwelling in the past. The mask he wants and wears, is at best his instrument for hiding his scars. He takes it off and looks in tranquility at the stars. Love is a good thing when it lasts forever. But forever is myth that leads to never. Clever is his wit to hide his feelings with fun and it indeed can be heard. So when he's all choked up, and can't find the words. Each time he thinks about her saying goodbye, oh boy!it sure does hurt. He keeps her memories in his heart to stay. Cause he'll always remember her that way.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The beautiful heart

She grows into your soul, yet a creative work of God so divine. Her beauty infatuating and sublime. I'd sit there and watch her brush her hair as she doesn't realise all that I do. Her love for me grew, strong or weak I can't really decide. But, tis me that was once blessed to have the most beautiful woman by my side. Her brown eyes are always changing its colour and varies to black. She looks in the mirror and can't really see the difference when I tell her that. When you watch her from your soul. You would have her to hold. Women, don't get that all men don't think alike. Some respect the beautiful face they have. Some just think they are glad when they leave during a fight. I sit here and watch the stars and look down at her scars. By far it's easy to love than to hate, I look up at her in heaven as I stare from hells gates. An angel without wings and yet she touches your soul, her lips speak your name and that's an honor. Her warm is better than a sauna. I corner her heart and steal her away. She runs on my mind all night and day. She loves you in ways that can't be expressed in words. She is a woman ambitiousness that hurls obstacles away. Loving her is a great deal in every way, pride sometimes steals her love. Yet, we forget a woman is a gift of God from above. It's easy to love someone and find that beautiful face difficult to love everyday. You start to miss her when she slips away. Now you sit back and wonder where it all went wrong. Using that guitar to play those classic love songs. She isn't around to hear you sing your tune. If you could change the past and wishing you could do that real soon. So a broken heart can't be mended, nor can a mystery be solved without a clue. She can't hear you say I still love you.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Mummy's birthday

She looks down from the heavens and watches all my sins. I wonder at the time of trouble does she cover me with her wings. I wonder if she remembers the pain I caused her to bring me forth into this world, as my thoughts so hinge on the fact that I was the expected girl. I wonder if she remembers my first steps as she held my hand. I wonder if I lived up to her expectations of how my life she did plan. She feed me when I couldn't speak and nursed me when I cried. I regret I could have been a better son as I cannot change the past for someone who died.  She gave me life and I saw God take her's in return. Angels belong in heaven to see you, I wait my turn. It's been a few years and I'm muscular and strong from the outside. Yet, I weep these years of sorrow on my pillow from my bedside. A mother is a woman who loves you even though you are inside. She thinks about your name and how special you'd be beside her. You're her cure for any sickness and disease. She smiles when she does see me. I was a child but held her close when she cried. Now that you're gone who's there to hold me tight? She'd ask me where I'd been and who my new girlfriend was. Alas! She knew and yet the truth she did make me spill. She saw me slit my wrists and asked if I was mad. I laughed out loud and said I was sad. I didn't think about and how much pain she felt. I now weep on bended knees and thank her for all my trouble she had dealt trying to raise me. Her love so effervescent and abundant like the river it does flow. I wish you were near me to hold you once more. I wish you could see me now, all grown up and free. But I'd give anything to have back my mummy. Well I wish these poems fly to heaven, as stupid as that sounds. Well it beats the feeling of pain knowing you aren't around. From the ground we were taken and to it shall we return. I might not be in heaven for my good deeds I haven't earned. I have learnt to live without you and I think that is but a lie. My heart aches knowing you are in your grave looking up at the sky, blue and sometimes grey. I miss you so much I put your picture away. So maybe one-day you'd know, I miss you so, and when I have the words to say just like today.  I'd say something more than just mama, happy birthday.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

I'm jealous your happy without me

I'm jealous of the rain, that falls upon your skin. It's closer than my hands have been. I'm jealous of the wind, that ripples through your clothes it's closer than your shadow. Cause I wished you the best of all this world could give. I'm jealous of the nights that I don't spend with you, I'm wondering who you lay next to. I'm jealous of the love, love that was in here, gone for someone new, as I sit here reminiscent of the haunting memories of you. I'm jealous of the sunrays that makes you radiant and beautiful to behold. Yet, I admire that beauty till the time I grow old. I'm jealous of the way your smile is no longer mine. It belongs to someone who I hope respects you all the time. I'm jealous of the pillow that gives your head comfort while you rest. While I lay in an empty bed and bare chest, without your head upon it to be placed. I'm jealous of your mirror that sees your reflection all the time. Your make-up wasn't alot, but I wish I could stare at you till you ask me what? And I look away always smiling and hurt. I'm jealous of your comb that brushes through your hair. As my fingers once did when I was there. I'm jealous of his hands that get to touch your face. I used to do so after our warm embrace. I'm jealous of your lips that speak volumes of wisdom all the same. Yet, they don't bear my name. I'm jealous of your ears that listen and eve's drop on the conversation of a few. But will never  again get to hear me say I love you. I'm jealous of the ring you wear upon your finger. You used to fit your fingers in between mine when we were on the right track. Alas! I was young, stupid and wisdom I did lack. But when I left you and let you go I always thought you'd come back, and tell me, that all you found was heartbreak and misery. And today, its hard for me to say this so free, I'm jealous of the fact that your happy without me.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks