It wasn't meant to be

She walked by him, and her fragrance swirled through the air. As she passed by he couldn't stop himself but stare. Her straight brown hair whisked with her stride. Her lips so soft parted by a smile. The most beautiful creature of a woman his eyes laid fixed upon. He thought about her from dusk till dawn. Embedded in his heart, he prayed for her happiness everyday. He didn't know her name. Yet her beauty clung to him like a bee to a flower in the wind. She'd be a man's blessing and not his sin. He knew he never caught her eye and always pictured her radiant smile. Thoughts of holding her hand, made his toes tingle. A woman that beautiful can't be single. He told himself to forget and move forward cause he can't deal with lament. He watched her pass by him after a few years had gone by. She lost her smile and her tears dried her pride. Never did he work up the nerve to even ask her for her name. He still saw her beauty all the same, one fine day. He saw her quietly seated, he asked if she'd mind if he said hi and greeted. She said she was waiting on a friend who was stopping by, he looked through her soul and noticed the lie. He smiled and wished her the time before her friend came. She said it out loud, "Kaitlyn", Kaitlyn is my name. She stretched out her hand and he felt her soft skin as he shook it in delight. She said it's a pleasure to meet you. Milady, the pleasure is mine to acquaint with you too. They talked for hours and he noticed the bruises on her arm and neck. He quietly sat by and smiled as he analysed every scar and her almost nearing death. Years went by and their bond grew stronger without any regret. He met her one fine day in the pouring rain, he knew quite well she was a victim of physical abuse. He loved her dearly and didn't want fear to grip her if his feelings were to be let loose. They stayed the closest friends and on that day she held another man in her arms with an umbrella to shade her from the rain so hard. She handed him her wedding card. Saying you have to be there your my best friend. He smiled and said "definitely, I'm here for you till the end". He watched her at the altar exchange her vows. The most beautiful bride he'd ever seen made him only say "wow". She was full of joy and breaking out with glee. He said to himself it wasn't meant to be me, she and her new found love walked out the church door. He went back to being a recluse that was the only life he did know. Sometimes it's okay to love someone for all eternity from a distance, your soul and heart for them will still grow. Watching them happy is satisfaction one will never know. If you love someone and you see them happy, don't question yourself and take a guess do I love them? Are they gonna say yes? All you can do keep them in your heart and bless. Happiness shall follow you no matter how difficult the test.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Jealous

She lays her head down on her pillow after her tearful night. The sparrows perch by her windowsill as the sun shines bright. The fight that lasted, as he said it's over and we are through. He sits by his bedside wondering, if it was the right thing to do?. She makes her mind up and uses her pride,  showing the world she fine and found all of life's clues. Moving on wasn't easy but she found someone new. Years go by and he wishes things were the same, and it wasn't memories a few. Together their love grew, like blossoming kin. Now, he's jealous of the rain that falls upon her skin, it's closer than his hands have been. He's jealous of the wind, that ripples through her clothes it's closer than her shadow. He's jealous of nights, he doesn't spend with her, wondering if he's perfect, the one you lay next to. He's jealous of the water that's touches your palms, his hands would hold hers so perfectly making her feel protected and calm.He's jealous of your tears that roll gently down her face. His lips, once upon a time could trace, he's jealous of her sweat, that forms upon her nose which she'd bury in his chest when it was cold. He's jealous of her comb that slides through her hair, his fingertips were once always there. He's jealous of her pores which keeps her scent so sweet. They'd linger within his soul as he did sleep. She walked out the door and he had his heart to keep. But he always thought she'd come back, tell him all she found was heart break and misery. Hard for him to see that she's happy without me. All he ever wished for her was the best of this world, could give. There isn't anything else for her to forgive. She did live and his soul did die. He's jealous of her heart that it beats for someone new. He's jealous that it doesn't beat for the man she once knew. 

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Buried Treasure

Her radiant smile so beautiful and mild. Like a child he calmed her nervous as she felt her patience run so futile. She melted his heart so and his nature so wild. He caught every year that rolled down her face, he kissed her forehead after every warm embrace. His traces and scent lingered on her skin, the touch of her fingertips felt like she was his willing sin. The taste of her lips satisfied his hunger for her soul. All she desired was him to hold, cold were their nights as they lay apart, his stupid name for her was "little fart". Her tiny and delicate hands fitted perfectly between his corn laid palms. He was not only her love but protector from every sort of harm. She kept his promises and he swallowed  his pride. He waited anxiously to make her his bride. Wide was their path and the journey never ending. With all the challenges and inappropriate turns bending. A lending hand a guiding voice, they had not, eachother forever is what they thought. It wasn't to be, and tis but the truth we see. She chose another and he let her slip away. He has his sleepless nights regretting that decision till this day. She buried his pictures along with his gifts. He kept everything and smiles while looking at it. The pleasure he got from just smelling her hair, he preserved each strand from the comb that now lays bare. The sound of heavy breathing as she tip toes from behind to give him a scare. The pieces of her broken mirror he shattered remains in his closet boxed up without a care. He glances at what she left behind and is reminiscent of the memories of theirs. She looks at her child and wonders if she hadn't made a mistake. She'd be with the man she loved and his last name she didn't take. She secretly looks at his poems and reads them with tears streaming down her face. No longer is he around to catch them and she misses his embrace. The smile on his face as she says something silly after every fight. She missed his tight hugs and his irritating bite. She can't control her fears and he now can't control his tears. Tis but a love story of two people push apart, he keeps the memories while she keeps his heart.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Cold Love

A cold winter night just like any other day. She sat by the green pastures looking at up at the night sky and dark clouds so grey. Wondering if she was in his thoughts or ever passed by. Indeed, she did, every moment he did breathe. The want for her touch the taste of her lips was his need. Her beautiful brown eyes, her magnificent smile. Her dimples so deep like the abyss of sin, he missed kissing the cleft on her chin. Her face so mellow, tender and gentle. Her hair so soft as his fingers found it so easy to run through. He longed to love her again and this she knew. She waited for an apology, he anticipated her call so true. She missed his breath down her neck, everytime he whispered in her ear, "I love you". Her heart she kept caged as his brokenness developed his rage. His slit wrists and her shattered heart left their souls caged from the start. Like water his fingertips ran over her skin's trace. Each time he kissed her forehead while he held her face. Distance was never a problem as they lived across eachother separated by a door. He'd check her light which always would glow. He heard her sobs and wished he'd break through to catch her tears again. His pride was greater than his name of love. Tis a heavy feeling to loose the one you received from God above. The smell of his perfume reaked on her skin. The feeling of head on his chest was his sin. Losing her was always his fear, loving her drew him near. Death laughed when giving the task of separating them both their love was so dear. God, remarked on creating them for eachother was so clear. The devil dared himself to stay away from them out of fear. They'd pass by eachother and not say a word. Yet their souls were loud and shouted out that even deaf heard. He built up his courage and knocked on her door. With a ring in his hand and a bended knee he asked her "will you marry me?". With tears of joy in her eyes she held him tight sobbed her eyes out with a smile so radiant even the moon can't glow. She kissed him and said no, his eyes lighten up in shock, a tear rolled down his face as if time had stopped. He fell to his knees and asked why? She held him up and said "my pride". How the tides have turned upon his soul. He fell clinching his chest as his body turned cold. His soul slowly slipping away as his whole life passed by. The angel of death rode and stopped by his side. She smiled and knew she finally made him break. Revenge was sweet and he made a mistake. Trusting that she loved him still, he broke her spirit but not her will. She wanted him to feel shattered as she once did. She wanted him to feel helpless like an illiterate kid. Her name was on his lips as he did breathe his last. He is but a memory, and to her it's the past. Trust and love go hand in hand. Sometimes things don't turn out the way you did plan. Never let your pride guide you to love. Never hurt what was sent to you from God above. 

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Till death do us part

He wished upon a falling star for love he seeks and couldn't find. She walked right into his path as they say love is indeed blind. Her kindness and gentleness was hard to find with anyone soul who walked the earth. He always thought she was an angel from heaven unlike us created from labour pain and child birth. Her hair so brown the autumn leaves would shy away in disbelief. Her smile so broad and dimples so deep the ocean could be measured while it sleeps. Her touch so gentle her kisses so mild. Even to an infant child one can't compare. The smell of her skin his biggest sin, losing her gave his heart a scare. His love and care grew like a blossoming flower as every hour passes by. He tried all he could and made certain she didn't cry. He counted the days and celebrating each one as of there isn't a tomorrow. She'd rest her head on his heart as he'd bury his nose in her hair and slumber forgetting his pain and sorrow. He'd watch her sleep and wake up to a bright new day to tell her she's so beautiful. He'd fold his hand on bended knees telling the Lord how thankful he is once again. She wore his ring and bore his child a replication of her beauty in a daughter. Alas! Her soul no longer walked the earth, indeed her body returned to the dirt. He sits every morning looking outside his window wondering if she still cared. The bright morning sunshine and an unchanged pillow case with strands of her hair. He dresses his daughter and thinks of his wife who left this poor child in his care. He wishes she was around when his daughter asks ' do I have mummy's eyes or hair?'. He couldn't bear to tell his little girl you look just like her now, he hold her tight and bursts into tears and stops himself from crying out loud. Her hair as brown as the autumn leaves and eyes beautiful as the fine crystal glass. He loves her more than life itself and watched her grow up so fast. He used to tell her stories of how his wife and him did meet. He made smile ever so often cause just as her mother her dimples were that deep. She loved her father even though his hair turned whiter than snow. She spoke a eulogy near his grave and she shed not a tear. My mother awaited my father's return and they now are together without fear. I shed no tears for I know he's happy the sunshine today makes it clear. Death did keep them apart cause I was what kept my father alive. He would have been reunited a long time ago cause he loved me but not as much as he loved his wife. I am but their child and he is gone to start his marriage again. Looking at me saying these things may make you think I'm insane. The truth is that and love is a bond which one cannot explain. She showed him what love was and he replicated the same. Love is but a emotion to some felt by only a few. If you don't feel the same way about her about telling her 'I love you'.


Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Gentle

She is strong like the wind, yet as fragile as a rose.  As angry as a hungry lioness, yet her love for you grows. She longs for your embrace, she loves the feeling of your fingertips on her face. She closes her eyes each time you draw her near. The smiles so beautifully every time you literally catch her tears. She fears her heart breaking as the deer fears being a predator's prey. She waits to hear your voice eagerly every single day. Her cheeks turn pink and her dimples wider than the ocean, each time you hold her hand or kiss her forehead, she can't control her emotions. She places her head on your chest as that's her best pillow. Even her breathing heavily is as gentle as a willow. Her laughter is the best sound which one can hear. You play back all these memories when she isn't near. She goes out of breathe as you hold her from behind and whisper in her ear. The solace of words she longs to hear. Tis the sweetest sound like a flowing stream on a hot summer day. She quenches her love and yet still hungers for you in every way. The smell of her skin is more intoxicating than any spirit or drug ever found. She is your sin but love is what keeps you away from being hellbound. Your fingertips find themselves running through her hair. All you can do each morning is look into her eyes and stare. They pierce through your soul like an arrow on fire. She is your love and passionate desire. You never tire of telling her you care, promising you'll always be there. Your love for her blooms faster than a flower during spring. You love the way she sings as you gently pat her to sleep. She is the one you'd always hold onto and keep. She wears not your ring but she is your everything. Her heart belongs to you, her body and mind too. As thoughts of you form in her mind like clumps, your breath gives her goosebumps. The smell of your perfume fills her nostrils even though your just a few steps away. She swings open the door with a smile to say I knew it was you. How she does that you don't have a clue. Your presence and arms around her turns that frown to normality. A sense of comfort to tell you always stay near me. She is a woman, but completes your soul. She is the one you wake up to and with who you see yourself grow old. Special is her heart that you seal it away. As you fear someone stealing her from you someday. Tis but foolishness to think someone else can make her feel the way you do. She considers you her refuge, love and care. Indeed it's hàrd to love a woman when these types of feelings aren't there. Never tell her I love you unless you really feel it's true. Cause repairing her heart is impossible cause she has trust issues. Love her while you are still breathing, cause even if your gone. Her heart for you is still beating.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The last kiss

He dwells in the darkness and looks out his window every night. Wishing he could hold her once again and make things right. He suffered the consequences of his actions by choosing his passion over her love. He now does what he loves but is hollow as he grows old. She wanders through day by day searching for someone new. At night he has someone to hold on to. But she wishes it was someone she once knew. Peace isn't a friend of his and love to her hasn't been kind. What he saw was her beauty and loved her till the end of time. He will not try replacing her as her fond memories he does keep. He suffers through his sleepless nights, as she cries herself to sleep. Consolation is for the pitiful and rendered love they both seek. Tis a foolish shame eachothers heart they couldn't keep. She's always on his mind as he is always on hers too. Not a day goes by that he doesn't tell himself, how much I miss you. She kisses the lips of another and keeps her eyes closed, his fingers aren't streaming on her face as he isn't the man who loves her the most. He'd push her hair behind her ears and look into her eyes. He'd whisper in her ear so close I'll love you till I die. He kept his word and she took her broken heart away. He wanders through this desolate plain with her memories making his hair grey. He holds no one else's hand as her fingers between his he can still feel. He walks by her house each day seeking glimpses of her is surreal. His heart is overjoyed and his excitement he can't withhold. His promise of their future was to watch her grow old. He doesn't have wealth, he never knew his future would become his past for eternity. He loves her more than life itself, for her he'd happily go down on one knee. He wishes the ring she now wears belonged to him. He wishes she was his kin. He wishes she knew how much he needed her close. He wishes she'd understand no one else can love her the most. He knew her like the back of his hand. Her pout, her smile the dimple that was more radiant with time. Her brown hair that matched the colour of her eyes. He watched her on her wedding night as a stranger in the crowd. A tear rolled down his heartless face he now pictures her in her beautiful  gown. He sits alone in silence and solitude thinking about her from a picture frame. On his lips lasts her name, which he recites every second of his life. He can love no other he can't make anyone else his wife. He can't ruin another woman's life. He stays away now as she requested him to do so. That's what happens when you let love slip away and go. If you own her heart and forget why you took it in the first place. Admire her beautiful face and tell yourself why you love her the most. Stick by her side as close as the holy ghost. Remember why she's yours and how it feels to hold her in your arms. How much it means to never let her go. You'd be happy to know rather than having her presence missed. Love her everyday cause you don't want to know the feeling of a last kiss.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks