Disposable soul

The memories flash by as things remain of the past. The daunting transitions of things you now no longer want it to last. You seek no more refuge, yet remain blind. You remain in solitude it's yourself you try so hard to find. With brokeness inside you pick up the pieces, with mistakes to remind you of the past decayed.  You can never have karma, play by the rules as you always stay unattached and see how cruel. I cannot fathom and wonder what happened, as things become shattered looking at the scars I count. I always seem to be losing this bout. A battle of the willful and strength of the meek. I look forward to happiness I seek. The moments that linger with a taste so sour, I know that I feel myself slipping away every hour. I do not cowar I do not moan the seed of bitterness. Yet I try to live in glee. As there is no longer you and me, but I won't stop surviving and won't stop breathing without thee. I have only disposable memories. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The love will cease one-day

Thoughts of her beauty rings in my head like a gong. Her beautiful brown eyes filled with tears hidden all day long. She smiles around me and waits for your return all day.  She stays up all night to wait for a text from you, asking if she's okay? Slowly but surely you miss her too, you kiss her even when she has the flu. She walks down the road and everyone stares. Placing your hand in hers to show the world she's mine. Her fingers in between yours and she has the cutest smile. No one can steal you from her is her instant thought. You stare at her secretly and she catches you to question saying 'what'. Actions speak louder than words they say and for your relationship you've fought. The thought of her skin on mine gives me goosebumps all the time. I still remember the blue Christmas theme, the dress looked so pretty I couldn't stop myself to stare. Her beautiful brown eyes and long hair. As her skin glistened with a sparkle, I held her hand with care. Whispering in her ear, 'i love you and will always be there'. Her touch so gentle like a feather to a bird at birth. She had to kiss me to make me feel my feet were still on earth. Like dirt to a wet foot she'd follow me around. Her hair on my face as we savor the moments and prance. The feeling of her little face in my hand, as I look into her eyes and sent me in a trance. She dances with my demons and chases them away. My name on her lips as she closes her eyes to pray. I lay my head down to rest in peace, as hers on my chest makes me  feel at ease. Without her now I am but lost and my soul craves for you like a tease. I await the day my love for you will cease.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Cradle to the grave

Her beauty leaves me speechless, her love left me heartless and cold. I cherish our memories together till I grow old. With bold thoughts I remain hopeful and pray. She'd come back to love me someday.  Written in the stars I count every scar that I find. By and by I stay blind, seeking a few years of the past.  I keep her in my soul to last. The mask I wear makes me stare at my reflection in the mirror. My sins make me shiver, tis isn't the cold that makes me feel the way I do.  The fact that I miss her and she hasn't a clue. Due is the pain that makes me come back to our fallen relationship.  I miss the feeling of always being there. I miss the angry stare. The fact that losing me gave her a scare.  She always cares about what I do, the moments and memories are a plenty and never a few. We stuck together like glue, and I knew our love would last. But I'm still a man and make mistakes, I didn't know my ego would put our love at stake. Now you wake wishing I was him. We both stay eachothers favorite sin.  And hurt from within.  Now your his kin, and I'm a waiting for a change in things. Your hair, your time and presence is what I miss the most. I travel coasts to find a replacement for your essence. I never find all the days I try to seek, I am but left meek and distorted. These are the moments I try to filter and like my soul I need it morted.  I watch all your pictures which I save, tis your heart and soul I crave. I know i shouldn't keep another to save. But I will love you from the cradle to the grave.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone

Another day passes for me to rest. Years go by without her love for me is a test. I hold my soul at best, least I follow. I am but left empty and hollow.  Her warmth and gentle nature so sublime, the taste of her lips makes stand still the sands of time. As poetry and rhyme with memories is I have left. I await anxiously for my death. Love is indeed cruel when her heart you can no longer cherish. Your soul to the gallows sent to perish. I seek her presence I admire her beauty from afar.  I look back at the past and count in abundance the scars that remain. All you feel is despair and pain.  Her voice rings in your ears. No longer can you catch every tear, you fear yourself losing hoping. Praying so earnestly for her happiness as if you were the pope.  She was as will be embedded in my soul till the day your body grows stiff and cold. Tis not a test tis but a love story lost throughout the world that rests. Like a harvest of crops she is near she indeed no longer your future. As her hair no longer remains on your face to tickle and make you groan.  She is still the flesh of your flesh and bone of your bone. Tis the loveless burden I have borne. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

My biggest crime

I open my eyes to thoughts of her near. Losing her was my biggest fear. Dear was her presence close to my soul. Cherishing the memories of when I had her to hold. Fearless and bold was my spirit which she sparked from within.  She was my courage and me her addiction.  Never did she hate me but did despise things of a few. Too much of care and love drives a person away from you. Her biggest problem was I couldn't see beyond our love. The scariest thing was my life being taken away by the Lord above. She'd hold me close when the nightmares recur, she'd fall back asleep in my arms knowing I'm safely near. It took me years but I healed her scars she planned to take to her grave. The saddest part those are the same scars to her which I gave. Her fondest memories are treasured in her head. The same one I kissed everytime she went to bed. She always led the way as time goes slow. Her beauty leaves me astounded and will always till I grow old. She molds you into a man that you never thought you could be.  She completes the brokeness inside and heals me. I am not perfect yet she made me feel I was.  Yet I ponder and realized it too late, you always lose a soulmate.  So as one-day when the angels welcome me and St Peter holds the key to my arrival. I'd hear her at my obituary telling the world what true love means. And the pleasure of me being in love with someone so divine. Letting her go was my biggest crime.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The gentleness

Her broken heart you try to mend. The sorrows and pain never seem to end. You lend the truth about how strong she is and the beauty of her life. She knows not the value you hold as you wait on her day or night. She renders you speechless with just a touch. Tis love you feel and not lust. You hold her close in your arms as the church bells tow from afar. You admire her beauty as she stirs gently in her sleep. You kiss her forehead and watch her smile to keep. You breathe heavily as your nostrils welcome the smell of her yesterday's perfume. You whisper in her ears the song she likes by humming the tune. You walk away as for a minute or two, she wakes startled and screaming your name out for you. She holds your shirt close when you aren't there the smell of you skin lingers and she feels your presence is the air. Love has never had any bounds. Just unconditional and profound. She mounts you and tries to tickle you to submission for a long walk. You pretend that her feminine frame could get you to submit. As your arms around her makes her feel tiny as a midget. She is beautiful and you admire her each day. You miss her in everyway, living your life to make her smile. Loving her as if she were a child. Yet she'd remember having you as a mature man in her life. And she wanted so bad to be your wife. You place the same thought in your head. Now that she's gone you can only think back to see. The memories haunt me.  No more of her tears are you there to catch. No longer can she cling on to you like a latch, when she sleeps at night. No longer can she stand in front of the mirror as you watched her combing her hair. No longer is she yours to love and care.  She now expects it from someone else.  But can't be loved the same way I did her and have stories to tell. That's her biggest fear, she still comes back to seek forgiveness for her mistake she still wishes I was around to prevent her heartbreak.  That is fate, as destiny seeks, kiss her and watch her knees go weak. Break her silence with your love, don't break her heart for she is as fragile as dove.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The deceptive soul

The look in her eyes tells you the truth. That smile looks magnificent and cute. Sudden pout makes you shout volumes of love. She looks like an angel sent from above. The feeling of her hair on your fingertips, the taste of lips last longer than eternal time. Breaking her heart should be considered a crime. Like lime to a tongue her anger is sour, her presence gives some sort of electrical power. As you strive to be a better man. She is the one with the most cleverest of plans. Her hug is tight and she doesn't easily let go. You miss her every second and fail to show.  Little does she know how fortunate you feel, to love her with things so surreal. You'd make a deal with the devil for your soul to see her happiness never turn grey. She'd be clueless of how easy it is to fall in love with her everyday. Her childish behavior is admired with amusement by you. The moments you'd treasure seemed like alot but only a few. It plays back in your head now that she's gone. She's left you in darkness with a broken hearted song. The melody of passion, and the tune love with the rhythm of care. Into the blank open spaces you now stare. Scared of the past your future is brittle.  The present so meek as hope remains little. You try so hard to never fall in love again. You cannot stop yourself from admiring the beautiful women all the same. Like an astronomer you count the stars, you look in the mirror and regret the scars. How could you give a broken heart to anyone even for fun. None is the answer and they don't deserve that.  The fun of life is that fact. The pact you made with your own reflection as you look at your soul of deception.  Never let anyone walk out of your life who cares, never let your story end there. Hangon you can win your fight she might be your miss right.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks