Waves to a rock

Emotions are a key to every lock. You feel what you must with every ounce of blood that drops. Like waves to a rock it keeps growing, a beautiful woman asked me where do I see my life going? Well I have no emotions as I'm suffocated by struggle and pain. I look to the heavens I say why me again? Beloved is my misery, cherished is my agony, betrothaled is my sadness to my soul. I carry these burdens as I grow old. Cold is the feel when care and love is shown. Rendered speechless is my lips as my soul is not owned. Lone are my nights of desolation and coy. Her memories with my heart just toy. Several years gone by and she leaves me in the state of contemplation. My heart in a moment of complications. Persuasion of my sorrow and perusal of heart. Refusal to let her go is always a start, distressed is my favorite part of how I remember her near. Eradication of her memories leaves my soul in fear. As I remember her name as it lasts longest on my lips. I still remember the feeling of her hair to my fingertips.  My grip on reality yet I am left insane. These are the moments of my emotions leaving me in pain. The songs of love have left me speechless I have no more lyrics to rhyme. I fight for survival with the hands of time. The rain is a constant reminder of my sins that I can't wash. Her absence from my life reminds me of the heavy cost. My thoughts left lost and my heart astray. Gathered by her memories of everyday. So if apologies could make things right, you with you in my arms we'd lay. Apologies can't rectify a mistake and correct what's wrong. Rhythm from lyrics can't always make the perfect song.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Losing my grip

The voices in your head, give you unrest while I lay in bed. As her beautiful memories haunt, my emotions twiddle and taunt.  Her beauty always left me profound. I feel her presence all around, confounded are the emotions that course through me all the same, I seek the pleasure of having her in my arms once again. Guilty is the feeling that leaves me deranged, cluthing my heart I am once again estranged. My demons prick at my wounds that grow, her name on my lips is like poison but slow. It devours my self righteous pride. These moments eat me alive as I try so hard not to hold. I can still smell her hair even with my cold. Her love was my refuge, her care my strength. Her lips my toxication of a day well spent. We'd talk about how our lives would change as we grow old together.  We'd stay strong through the stormy weather. Like birds of a feather I'd also stick by you. The wind may be strong but the moments it would last was a few. I wondered what it would be like to place a ring on your finger, that's a moment I can only wonder about as the years linger. Love is an illusion that can't be altered in anyway.  Your heart was a prize for me to win everyday.  I seldom think about how I went wrong, I still miss singing you to sleep your favorite song. I miss the feeling of my fingers running through your hair. I did all I could to show you how much I care. Hold you close when the demons give you a scare. Little did I know that you'd be my past, I was too blind to see something so good won't last. Now I bask in my solitude,  while you raise a child. How I wish you were mine. Losing my soul was never easy to do. In every girl I meet I still seek you. I'm like a detective without a clue. If only I'd see if only I knew. I would have held on tighter and avoided letting you slip. I look in the mirror and find you not behind, I know I'm losing my grip on a soul that's dying and my mind.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Checkmate

She opens her eyes every morning to watch me beside her. The smile on her face with those sleepy eyes makes my heart skip a beat. She is the woman you love not just someone between your sheets. You kiss her forehead as she hugs you tight, she knows you're hers throughout her life and not just spending the night. She sits up in bed and ties her hair holds your hands in hers and says her morning prayers. Kisses you after as if to thank God he made you, little does she know you'll stick to her like glue. You watch her comb her hair as you stand by the door, take in how beautiful she looks so elegant with an angelic glow. Your heart beats faster as you know your in love, her beautiful brown eyes glitter like diamonds in a glove. She seems confused as to why you always seem to stare, she doesn't know how beautiful she looks through your eyes that care. The best moments in life is no matter how tired was my day leaving me glum and dimmer. She'd sit on my lap while I'd feed her dinner. That would be my incentive after a long day's work. Having her in my life was always worth. By birth I was lonely and timid mild as I grew older I turned boisterous and wild. My only remedy and my self proclaimed drug, I just couldnt get enough of her love.  What I failed to notice was something so real, my obsession towards her would bring me to my knees. She was perfect and I had my flaws, sometimes her heart left me in awe. So what I regret is the fact that she's gone, life is a game of chess and I made my moves a little too late. What good a king without his queen to save him from a checkmate. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

My description of love

To describe the woman you love is the hardest thing to do.  Why do you love her is an answer to a question known to a few. Is it her on brown eyes or her beautiful smile. Is the moments you cherish with her till the end of time or only for a while. You look at her silently and admire her elegance and grace. You catch every tear that rolls down her beautiful face. Unworthy is the first thought of comparison that comes to your mind. Her love is never that hard to find, as it binds you speechless and leaves you in awe. Her hair you push behind her ear as you look into her eyes and hold her near. You ask her 'may I have this dance?' she obliges as you sway with her in this trance. She places her head upon your shoulder. Your arms wrapped around her as the room gets colder. The warmth in you heart let's her know you care. Her cheeks turn pink as she catches you smile as you stare. The glare from your soul pierces her eyes. As she knows she's you're miss right. No matter how big the squabble or small the fight. You're loving arms will hold her through the night. The moonlight shines bright as you hold her hand to watch the stars. You don't really mind the annoying horns of the passing cars. Her scars no longer visible as she is now healed. Before she rests her head  she does pray and kneel. She does thank the Lord for love so real. For her heart's desire are fulfilled by you taking it to steal. Some love stories are written by the past. Sometimes love is meant to last. Sometimes you find someone who takes off your fake mask. Sometimes love stands tall and steadfast. So to describe a woman you love is the hardest thing to do. Sometimes you can only show someone why you say 'I love you'. Actions speak louder than words. Her heart is to be cherished nurtured and she becomes free as the birds of the sky. She is the reason love will never say why.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The day love beckons

The description of love is a prescription for the soul. You'll never want silver or gold, you'll always look forward to her beauty and smile. As her beautiful brown eyes leaves you speechless for a while. Her hand in yours as walk down the street,  her name on your lips as you prepare to sleep. You gain her love but her heart is yours to keep. You leap through bounds to give her your time. When she's not around you feel it a crime. You find a new excuse to show her you never missed her or care. Deep down inside at her grace and beauty you admire and stare. Like a snake to its lair, you protect her as kin. Even before she wears your ring. Her love your drug, her touch your hallucinations and her lips your sin. The moments together and on you remains the smell of her skin. Her thoughts stuck in your head like a softboard to a pin. She breaks your walls and makes you vulnerable from within. Your male chauvinism and ego and pride, falls to the ground with her mellow words. She makes you rejuvenate as she's that special girl. She spins your head around and around, you can't feel your feet touching the ground.  Bound by her heart you overcome everyday.  Looking forward to her love in every possible way. Her hair that flutters like a flag in the breeze, tis her heart's desires you wish to fulfill and please.  You then one-day have had enough,  you place a ring on her finger on one bended knee. Those are the moments you do cherish and pray. That your true love beckons like this someday.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

My eternal flame

Her beauty so exciting and exuberant to my soul. I can want nothing but her in my arms to hold. Like diamonds I treasure her timeless desire. I seek her presence like wood to a fire, the higher I soar as an eagle away from its nest.  Her love,  in me brought out the best. The tests and obstacles I overcame never made me feel dire. I grow weary and my body does tire, she was my eternal flame and heart's desire. Like a wire to electricity we were well connected. I crave the look in her eyes as the sparkle I always detected. I chose to keep her heart and cherished her soul, she rendered me speechless yet made me feel whole. A girl with such beauty, elegance and grace. I did all I could to put a smile on her face.  I traced the tears that rolled down her eyes. She'd wish I was there to hold her when she cries. Precarious was my approach to calming her sane, baffled was my mind at easily she made me fall in love with her over and over again.  The only thing that made me feel alive was my lips to her forehead as I kissed her goodnight.  The smell of her skin made me feel right, the feeling of her empathy ended with a hug after every fight. They say love is a gift for anyone to receive, the heart is always the permission to do as you please. If I was her disease she was my drug. For the dementia wouldn't be measured by the Lord above. Strange was the feeling of connection when we were near. The disruption in the form of argument or fight when the distance between us left our relationship in a tangle. Our peace offering was her laughter that made my anger mild. A warm embrace in her brought out the child. See love is an illusion of the flaws you overlook, surrender your heart and you'd never get off that hook. So hold what you have dear to your soul, for one-day she will be there with you even when your love turns old.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Karma

A prayer for the meek. With serenity is what I seek. My vision so bleak without you around. I seek without knowing if your heart is found.  Tis but shattered into a million pieces spread across the ocean so wide. I dive so deep into love where it lies still and cold wrinkling and old. Bold are the choices we both made, we now regret them everyday as in our beds we lay. I cling to my soul as refuge I have none. She played me like a game for fun. The thought of all the mistakes I've made.  The guilt that lingers eludes my spirit and breaks my soul. I had been so foolish to see and not know. I grow in wisdom and seek you no further. I know I'm rendered still in self proclaim.  I have no honor to my name. This strength I now seek within my grasp. It'd be a tough task, as I put on my mask to show the world out there. I live without a worry or care. There are these moments I feel like you broke down my walls. You slithered your way through the crepes and you crawled. Karma exists for those don't need. This is a demons seed, I beg and I plead to make things right. Vengeance will be mine through this life, I know you are reading this and still think I care. I am but glad you are outta my hair.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Only words

Words aren't enough to tell a woman how much you love and care. As you stare beyond the barrier of life, looking for the one who is right. Till one day she walks right by, her eyes as brown as the leaves which wither during the autumn wind's blast. You see she wears the same broken mask. You stare all the while and that's your task. You break her walls and remove her mask. You then love and see her true beauty.  Gaining her heart you make your duty. You feel the chills as you hold her hand, you keep her warm on a winter's night sitting under the pale moonlight.  All you both do is count the stars. Then you start healing her scars, you're her superhero with special powers. She can't look beyond you cause you've both walked this far. Your journey is long filled with obstacles ofcourse.  You realize you love her the most. Like a wandering ghost you once walked the earth. Now you are loved and no longer hurt. Less curt and more polite is what she made you become. She taught you to love, care and always be there.  She bore your anger and tantrums you once threw. All her demons you did slay. She remained with you night and day. You cannot find it in your heart to ever let hee go. Cause you will love no more, she will remain embedded in your soul. She will love you till you grow old.  To love a woman is privilege beyond compare. Don't sit back and remember the good times when she was there.  Hold on to her least like sands grains she escapes from your palm. Love her and don't do her no harm.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Definition of love

Someone once asked me to describe what love was. I turned my thoughts to her and the cause. Her beauty so magnificent that the earth stood still as she walked by. Her smile so clear as the blue sky.  Her eyes as brown as the leaves in autumn. Her skin so gentle as if you touched cotton.  Her lips kiss you with compassion and care, her hand is always around to hold to show you she's always there. You stare at the memories so lost in thought.  You look away once she sees you stare and your caught. Your not in a trap but a trance at best. You restraint yourself from telling her you love her from this test. Like a bird you go back to her like one to its nest. The crest of her love, the feeling of her care, the depth of her life begins for you even when you aren't there. She is the woman you chose to dedicate yourself to. She the only one who will understand the complexity of you. She doused your anger with a delicate smile. She embraces your head to her chest so tender and mild. Like a child she knows how to calm your fears. Like a wife she holds your tears and brings you near.  So dear to her as she wakes to your face, so subtle is a sleepy eyes to see your gaze. The craze of kindness and the emancipation of her literal pain. Her soul entwined with yours to gain. She waits at the end of the tunnel of light. She sets the time and makes a not of the date.  She is what is called a soulmate. So I have no definition of what is love. Have I ever been cared for and loved? Yes I have for 7 long years. I look back at the memories and woefully count the dried up tears.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

If I was your man

I see the misery and feel the pain. Her presence missed which drives me insane.  I gained her heart to lose it as it came near. The tears I cried were countless as the years go by with fear. The rain can't douse my sins and render me dry.   I lose myself as the lightening flashes in the sky. The thunder brings about less of a calm, without you I am but harmed. 7 years of love and I let you walk. My ego did not give us a chance to talk. The clock keeps ticking and the seconds arrive. Your name on my lips lasts till the end of time. Your touch on me can still be felt. Infront of the altar I pray and knelt for your happiness and your wonderful life. I'm glad you now remain his wife. Gone are the days where I held u close. I walk the earth like a ghost, tossed from pillar and post. Searching for someone like you who I could love the most. The hosts of heaven and the demons of hell reside in me mentally and leave me crazy. My memories of you don't seem to get hazy.  I tread on pathways I know not so well. My heart has the scars with stories to tell. Your secrets, your ambitions, your life, your past, I even know why you wear that smiling mask. Years go by and I still think of you. We stuck together like ultimate glue. The few times we hated was during our fight. We'd kiss and make up and talk through the night. You'd wake up everymorning watching me stare. I'd always have u scared, you coursed through my veins like blood through my stream.  I nourished your hopes and your dreams. Your nightmares made you scream and have you get startled. My embrace eases your heart and clamed you down. I'd always make u laugh even when you had your angry frown. The smell of your hair, your ear on my chest for the sound of my heartbeat told u I was there. You needed me and I needed you, somehow I wondered what things would be like without you. Now your the woman who wishes he was me. I'm the broken one trying to find clarity.  He isn't something that you did plan, sometimes I wish If i was still your man. Now I see your daughter a picture so clear as her mother can be. But I'm not the one she calls daddy.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

We don't talk anymore

The heart can love more than anything even of its old. Owning her heart is a move so bold. Cold is the desire to want her near, losing her is a battling fear. Not a tear drop we cry yet the glimmer of pain lingers in our eyes. The soul no longer breathes but withers and dies. She was the woman who taught you to love what a relationship is about as pure as a white dove. From above she was sent to care, she slumbers all you do lay there and stare. The glare of the moonlight from the window shines upon her skin.  The taste of her lips is your sin, for the feeling you cannot erase.  The warm embrace leaves you in a daze. She is half asleep yet throws her arm across.  At that moments you are but lost. A heavy cost you did pay, as all u did was watch her walk away. She tries so hard to make her return, your ego makes this difficult as you yearn for her near. She's the true love you always held dear. She woke up everymorning with a smile on her face with dimples so deep it could trace her face. Perpetually waiting for those moments of peace. You make certain you are at ease, you please her heart's desire and douse her self proclaim.  You Kindle her hair and wake up to your lips with her name.  Tame and calm is something you will never see. Just like the moments so real, now her sorrows is all you both can cart. As she doesn't desire your heart, she longs for your touch and make her have the fresh start. Resurrection of emotions is never the key for the few. She just can't stand to see you with someone new. She doesn't love you like the cold snow. We lost what we had coz we don't talk anymore. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The cold nights

Love and compassion displayed so true. Her heart did at one point of time belong to you.  With bliss and joy you held her hand. You touched her soul and made her feel grand. Her voice was the last sound that you could hear. Her breathe on your chest, as that was her pillow, she always clung on to you for dear life.  She considered herself to be your Ms. Right, she use to light up your world with love and care. Share your happiness and hold you through your despair. Her tears never hit the cold hard ground.  Your hand to catch them was always around.  Killing me softly with her pain, the secret weapon she had to her name. Like I child she always had my arms to warm embrace. My fingertips on her face will find the smile which I can trace. I graced her soul like the rising sun. A whisper of 'I love you ' and I'd see her eyes glitter with happiness beyond compare. The beautiful brown eyes that I watched so close with care. I've seen them closed as I stare at her beauty while she's asleep. The frown on her forehead pushed away as I hold her with peace. I'd become compassionate and caring that was my fear. I felt myself slipping and turning weak. I was alright to become a man with a heart not made of stone. We'd laugh together and have eachother when the winters get cold. She broke me when she was my fix. Like a drug addict I was addicted to her kiss. Yet, she was addicted to mine. But we never admitted it to eachother at any point of time. We rather thought of walking different patches and paths. As human beings our pride was what carried apart. She did not render the possibility of having me in her plan. I was the one who by her arrogant choices never took a stand. Yes I now understand we both were to blame. Problem is each of us never could tame one another.  You were wild and young and free. I was driven by ambition and what I could make of me. Today you have your freedom, and I kept my goals. You have your family which you wanted and I have my goals. I see the problem I have u no longer to hold no matter how cold the night gets. And he just isn't me to love you till death.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks