My Greatest Fear

A day of love as all proclaim, as your heart begins to bear her name. You show the world how deeply you care. Losing her gives you a scare. Why do we wait for this every year? We forget about the heart break and tears. Blinded and yet nothing is clear. Her beauty draws you near, sheer delight when you hold her hand, she crossing you path wasn't in your plan. Her eyes so special as they twinkle under the night sky. Her perfume let's you know she's close by. You hold her from behind and whisper in her ear, those are the words she longed to hear. She trembles as you hold her close, she feels loved as a sinner does when he/she receives the Holy Ghost. Her fingertips make you hair stand, the taste of her lips adds flavour to your taste buds so bland. Canned are her responses as is yours, being speechless is better than saying things unplanned. You delight yourself in each other's gaze, all you have left is her beauty to praise. You don't talk much and stay quiet and still knowing her loving you back is the ultimate thrill. You then awake screaming to end with a smile, tis not a dream, was a memory that haunts you all the while. You know that you love her even after all these years, you forget about the pain and tears. Your fears grow stronger as you grip yourself tight. Swaying back and forth all through the night. Watching the sun rise upon your sleep deprived face. Which you wash with water and that's all you now taste. She's gone forever but her name dwells fervently clear upon your lips. You still feel your head upon her fingertips. You wonder if she still thinks about you even for a little while. If you run through mind, as her memories haunt yours. The pleasure and pain she caused, the broken promises she never tried to keep. The apologies after time alone she didn't sleep. She never redeemed herself for all her wrong doing, as you tried so hard to seek forgiveness, as to provide it she isn't kind. Love is cruel, inhuman, and leaves you blind. Experience it and you'll be able to read the signs in every possible way. So to all the couples who are gonna go through shit, happy valentine's day.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

His fairy-tale

He sits at night and gazes at the sky. He counts the stars every night near and far. He wishes for her happiness upon all the falling stars that he sees. He remembers her so well and prays for her on bended knees. He thought he had the key to life, with happiness and success to follow. He only has the mistakes he made with lessons that leave him hollow. Like a swallow he moves from place to place, searching for a similar face, the feeling of staring into the same kind of brown eyes just like hers. He kisses a thousand women yet can't draw that emotion near. He wakes every morning and watches the people pass by from end to start. He admires every woman's beauty and knows none can steal his heart.  He chalks down his thoughts on paper which rips with ease. Yet his soul stays unstable as he can't find peace to appease. He still places a plate at his table when he dines for supper. He still sips his coffee till the end as she always did for him. He knew she was his sin that lingers under his skin. Her heart right now he can never win, he watches from afar as he nurtures her child, husband and kin. Love is a cruel intention which breaks a man's pride in two. He always said it would be me and you. He walks by the park, and looks up at the sunshine, wondering if he was running in her mind. His lips bear her name with every passing day, he wakes up to reality of what he thought was a nightmare. He stands in solitude and silence fills his void. He thinks about how he let his life get played with and toyed. He always spent his festivals drowning in his sorrow. He knows his life isn't at an end. He knows tis but the beginning of his life on a bend. He closes his eyes and imagines her  fingertips upon his face. Love is a gift for you must freely embrace. It may leave you broken but you can pick yourself up. Never experiencing it is a slup, so give your heart to someone and forgive them if it breaks. You'd not only get the broken pieces but beautiful memories which you and her did make. Love is never a fairy tale it's a story which is real for your sake. It's not what God writes, it is what you make.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks