From the cradle to the grave

She longed for space, and he waited in the same place. Traces of his shattered heart, love indeed, tore him apart, he fell for her deeply and she didn't understand. He called her his woman, she lied when she said you're my man. Alcohol and nicotine are no longer his friends. He remembers the times they spent. The walks, the conversations and the moment that lasts so true. He never thought his memories of her would be but a few. He grew stronger but his soul is broken and weak. Her beautiful smile and her eyes he'd look into with his piercing glare. He'd sit for hours admiring her beauty as he'd stare. She never knew what this was called and he didn't give it a term. He'd always stick by her like teeth with morning germs. He yearns for her touch and begs God to take away his pain. He is no longer what we call sane. Her gentleness, as her voice calmed his soul while rage built in his mind. He'd always think about her till the end of time. She walked into his life like a calming breeze, and swayed away without the memories. He sits in his darkness and ponders where did he go wrong. He had to break his promises tis but something he hates to do. He never will trust anyone else, including himself or you. The smell of her skin reaks through his nose. As his desire to lay his eyes upon her one more time, stronger it grows. His demons were once upon a time his foe, they are now allies and hold him close. Along with his angels and he hates that fact. She isn't mine anymore tis his bitter pill to swallow. His soul is now empty and but hollow. Her fingertips on his arm he feels till this day. He counted every mole on her body without her knowing in anyway. Obsession is a dangerous feeling and he hates that about himself. He tells not this brokenness for sympathy to be felt. He tells of this tale as people understand pain. Giving your heart away has a price to pay, if she walks away leaving you with your soul in a cage and a razor on the wounds when your beard you do shave. Problem is he is but a fool who will love her from the cradle to the grave.

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

Tis her heart I own

He sat by the night sky waiting all day to hear her voice over the phone. That call never came and he sat counting the stars alone. She stole his heart with just her smile, she didn't understand how he felt about her inside. She became his pride and he basked in her glory. Holding her hand was just the beginning on his love story, her eyes changed colour everytime he was around, her touch on his arm made him feel the calm and placed his feet firmly on the ground. He never told her those three words which people abuse, yet she knew what she meant to a man who's sticks to her like glue. Her hair so perfect and the smell of her skin so mild they'd intoxicate his soul all the time. Her thoughts run through his mind like the stream that flows through a river. When she whispered in his ear his spine would quiver. Her breathe on his shoulder would make him want to hold her close. She sparked up a side of his which he killed for years at the most. She placed her lips on another and her name was stuck on his. He felt betrayed and yet he forgave, she made her way back into his heart. He kept the promises he made. She slowly pushed him aside and never intended to stay. The distance killed his spirit and you can't break what's already shattered to bits. She left a scar so deep that reality can't bring him to grip. He is but a fool to understand not says the world. He always did choose the wrong girl. He looks upon his reflection and sees the scars and lives in pain. He sits in his darkness and counts the scars over and over again. He waits for her return tis her smile that he yearns,  once again to have her hand to hold and say proudly tis her heart I own. Till that day comes he places her name on his lips repeating "flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone, tis your heart I own".


Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Trust and Love

She gave her heart to a man she thought she did know. He gave a broken promises to hold on to as together they grew old. She loved the sound of his voice, he made her his option and never first choice. She tried so hard to hold his hand in every moment she got. He always made excuses to spend time away from her even though they hardly fought. She loved him dearly and wished he'd tell her that too. He teased her and hurt her in public her self esteem never grew. She'd pray for him each night that he'd become a better man. He'd always look for other women to be with yet he never planned. She dreamt of a wedding fit for a queen. She pictured herself at the altar saying her vows to him was reality to be seen. Quite keen was her heart to say she belonged to him. Good women love the wrong men and that's their sin. On a cold rainy night he walked into a church. He bent his knees and folded his hands and smelt the cold moist dirt. He asked for forgiveness and told God he'd try to change in every thing he did once do. Tears streaming down his face, as he remembered what his parents put eachother through. He was doing something he promised himself as a child of a tender age. He promised himself he'd be better than the man he never looked up to. He ran as fast as he could and knocked on her door even though she was but fast asleep. As the door swung open he held her close and he did bitterly weep. He apologized and said his promises he'd keep till the day he did die. Out came from the other room a man enquiring "who's this guy?". A friend who's emotionally disturbed and need me to be there she replied. He stood on her porch drenched from tears and the rain. He said "I love you" and always will no matter how hard the circumstances get or how steep life bends. She wept so hard and said "I can't, cause the other man at home is my husband". Shattered and destroyed he stepped back and tried to hold himself together. He then realised there was something strange about the weather. He smiled and kissed her forehead saying one day I'll understand. She led him on to believe she loved him and tis her plan. He walked to the church and bent his knees to pray once again. He wished his life was back to normal. Unfortunately it was never going to be the same. He finds it hard to trust someone, he hates the words "I love you". He stays as far away from everyone cause one person destroyed a future so true. People call him deranged, shallow and dark from the start. There is always a woman who betrayed a man behind a broken heart. Trust and love is a gift with a heavy price to pay. If you can't fulfill that price, those three wonderful words is something you shouldn't say. 

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

It wasn't meant to be

She walked by him, and her fragrance swirled through the air. As she passed by he couldn't stop himself but stare. Her straight brown hair whisked with her stride. Her lips so soft parted by a smile. The most beautiful creature of a woman his eyes laid fixed upon. He thought about her from dusk till dawn. Embedded in his heart, he prayed for her happiness everyday. He didn't know her name. Yet her beauty clung to him like a bee to a flower in the wind. She'd be a man's blessing and not his sin. He knew he never caught her eye and always pictured her radiant smile. Thoughts of holding her hand, made his toes tingle. A woman that beautiful can't be single. He told himself to forget and move forward cause he can't deal with lament. He watched her pass by him after a few years had gone by. She lost her smile and her tears dried her pride. Never did he work up the nerve to even ask her for her name. He still saw her beauty all the same, one fine day. He saw her quietly seated, he asked if she'd mind if he said hi and greeted. She said she was waiting on a friend who was stopping by, he looked through her soul and noticed the lie. He smiled and wished her the time before her friend came. She said it out loud, "Kaitlyn", Kaitlyn is my name. She stretched out her hand and he felt her soft skin as he shook it in delight. She said it's a pleasure to meet you. Milady, the pleasure is mine to acquaint with you too. They talked for hours and he noticed the bruises on her arm and neck. He quietly sat by and smiled as he analysed every scar and her almost nearing death. Years went by and their bond grew stronger without any regret. He met her one fine day in the pouring rain, he knew quite well she was a victim of physical abuse. He loved her dearly and didn't want fear to grip her if his feelings were to be let loose. They stayed the closest friends and on that day she held another man in her arms with an umbrella to shade her from the rain so hard. She handed him her wedding card. Saying you have to be there your my best friend. He smiled and said "definitely, I'm here for you till the end". He watched her at the altar exchange her vows. The most beautiful bride he'd ever seen made him only say "wow". She was full of joy and breaking out with glee. He said to himself it wasn't meant to be me, she and her new found love walked out the church door. He went back to being a recluse that was the only life he did know. Sometimes it's okay to love someone for all eternity from a distance, your soul and heart for them will still grow. Watching them happy is satisfaction one will never know. If you love someone and you see them happy, don't question yourself and take a guess do I love them? Are they gonna say yes? All you can do keep them in your heart and bless. Happiness shall follow you no matter how difficult the test.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Jealous

She lays her head down on her pillow after her tearful night. The sparrows perch by her windowsill as the sun shines bright. The fight that lasted, as he said it's over and we are through. He sits by his bedside wondering, if it was the right thing to do?. She makes her mind up and uses her pride,  showing the world she fine and found all of life's clues. Moving on wasn't easy but she found someone new. Years go by and he wishes things were the same, and it wasn't memories a few. Together their love grew, like blossoming kin. Now, he's jealous of the rain that falls upon her skin, it's closer than his hands have been. He's jealous of the wind, that ripples through her clothes it's closer than her shadow. He's jealous of nights, he doesn't spend with her, wondering if he's perfect, the one you lay next to. He's jealous of the water that's touches your palms, his hands would hold hers so perfectly making her feel protected and calm.He's jealous of your tears that roll gently down her face. His lips, once upon a time could trace, he's jealous of her sweat, that forms upon her nose which she'd bury in his chest when it was cold. He's jealous of her comb that slides through her hair, his fingertips were once always there. He's jealous of her pores which keeps her scent so sweet. They'd linger within his soul as he did sleep. She walked out the door and he had his heart to keep. But he always thought she'd come back, tell him all she found was heart break and misery. Hard for him to see that she's happy without me. All he ever wished for her was the best of this world, could give. There isn't anything else for her to forgive. She did live and his soul did die. He's jealous of her heart that it beats for someone new. He's jealous that it doesn't beat for the man she once knew. 

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Buried Treasure

Her radiant smile so beautiful and mild. Like a child he calmed her nervous as she felt her patience run so futile. She melted his heart so and his nature so wild. He caught every year that rolled down her face, he kissed her forehead after every warm embrace. His traces and scent lingered on her skin, the touch of her fingertips felt like she was his willing sin. The taste of her lips satisfied his hunger for her soul. All she desired was him to hold, cold were their nights as they lay apart, his stupid name for her was "little fart". Her tiny and delicate hands fitted perfectly between his corn laid palms. He was not only her love but protector from every sort of harm. She kept his promises and he swallowed  his pride. He waited anxiously to make her his bride. Wide was their path and the journey never ending. With all the challenges and inappropriate turns bending. A lending hand a guiding voice, they had not, eachother forever is what they thought. It wasn't to be, and tis but the truth we see. She chose another and he let her slip away. He has his sleepless nights regretting that decision till this day. She buried his pictures along with his gifts. He kept everything and smiles while looking at it. The pleasure he got from just smelling her hair, he preserved each strand from the comb that now lays bare. The sound of heavy breathing as she tip toes from behind to give him a scare. The pieces of her broken mirror he shattered remains in his closet boxed up without a care. He glances at what she left behind and is reminiscent of the memories of theirs. She looks at her child and wonders if she hadn't made a mistake. She'd be with the man she loved and his last name she didn't take. She secretly looks at his poems and reads them with tears streaming down her face. No longer is he around to catch them and she misses his embrace. The smile on his face as she says something silly after every fight. She missed his tight hugs and his irritating bite. She can't control her fears and he now can't control his tears. Tis but a love story of two people push apart, he keeps the memories while she keeps his heart.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks