Two broken souls

The panorama of life,twitches your soul day and night. The bright blue yonder and the light at the end of the tunnel.  Leaves your heart in a ruthless state. You no longer feel that great, her spine tingly touches and the warmth of her love, she captivates your soul like a heavenly creature from above. The moments of memories the years of pain.  The feeling of holding on to yourself least you no longer remain sane, you lose more than you gain, the birds and the trees no longer find comfort for me. The blueness of the sky, gives companionship to the larks. These are the journey's for the soul to embark. Dark are the nights and gloomy are the days. The sun no longer shines through the clouds so grey. Nature weeps with the broken soul, she cannot comfort you treading on this journey so cold. She breaks down her tears in the form of rain. She thrives in your pleasure and feels your pain. Her name is the taste that remains appealing to your lips. Her skin lingers on your fingertips.  She isn't around to watch those dimples as she smiles. She keeps quiet and waits for her time. You may remain broken, she isn't your fix. She looks forward to the love she missed, she wants your love and arms to hold, you kiss her lips and watch her knees go weak even before she's old. Like quick sand your two broken souls go weak. She will hold on to you till her eternal sleep. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A relationship

The soul of hers defines her beauty. Since you own heart catching her tears is your duty. The dignified essence of watching her sleep.  You tip top out of bed as her pillow gives rest to her head. You kiss her forehead and fall in love with her each day. You make amends for the wrong doings and fights that made her gloom in everyway.  She refines her commitment towards you as in your arms she lay. Never to let go of your soul and forgiving your past. She still hasn't taken off the mask. You ask her for her hand which you always firmly hold, she gives you her heart which is more precious than gold.  What bothers her she will refrain from to speak. You look for ways to make her feel special and unique. Tis the answers to her questions from life that she seeks. No matter how hard she tries to conceal from you the truth. Her brown eyes give away the secrets that leave her mute. Silence that makes her ponder, distance makes you grow fonder. The world you live in drifts your emotions apart. She wants and end while you still seek a fresh start. Resurrection of emotions in this cruel cold world. As hurt, sorrow and pain at you is hurled. She attains a position as a armadillo curl. While you pour another shot of whiskey to make your head twirl. Her heart is as good as her pure soul. To live without her is a story that best is never told. To love a woman isn't easy to do, being her man and loving her true is what defines the woman and man too.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

A relationship

The soul of hers defines her beauty. Since you own heart catching her tears is your duty. The dignified essence of watching her sleep.  You tip top out of bed as her pillow gives rest to her head. You kiss her forehead and fall in love with her each day. You make amends for the wrong doings and fights that made her gloom in everyway.  She refines her commitment towards you as in your arms she lay. Never to let go of your soul and forgiving your past. She still hasn't taken off the mask. You ask her for her hand which you always firmly hold, she gives you her heart which is more precious than gold.  What bothers her she will refrain from to speak. You look for ways to make her feel special and unique. Tis the answers to her questions from life that she seeks. No matter how hard she tries to conceal from you the truth. Her brown eyes give away the secrets that leave her mute. Silence that makes her ponder, distance makes you grow fonder. The world you live in drifts your emotions apart. She wants and end while you still seek a fresh start. Resurrection of emotions in this cruel cold world. As hurt, sorrow and pain at you is hurled. She attains a position as a armadillo curl. While you pour another shot of whiskey to make your head twirl. Her heart is as good as her pure soul. To live without her is a story that best is never told. To love a woman isn't easy to do, being her man and loving her true is what defines the woman and man too.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

The will to survive

It's so easy to pick yourself up off the ground.  Rather than lying dead with scavengers around.  Your heart maybe cold and your soul maybe hollow. You're happiness is immediately gone replaced with the pain that's borrowed.  I've lived through the storm and walked through the rainy weather with a soul so hollowed. I stood steadfast in this hurricane that tried to suck me in. I'm done dwelling in my sin,  fin are the words that's come to my mind. The heavens above and stars my guide. As I tread on this path, knowing what comes next I will endure. My brokenness tis no longer my curse but my cure. The friends I have are but named and counted as few. I wouldn't be strong without any of you. The dark clouds fade as the sunshine is bright, the terrifying days are done through my life. Stronger than a ox I stand tall and fight. I do all I can to make things right. Now the time has come to bring forth this heavy cost. The will to win was never lost.


Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

My addiction

She was my sin that I happily dwelled with. I sit and think about the past that went by. I burst in tears and cry. Forgetting her was my task. I mask all my self pity and empathy people show. I need no remorse as I grow cold. Yes I no longer possess a heart or emotions. I don't believe in love or its potions.  I find the notion of unfaithfulness easy for everyone around me. Yet I seek nothing yet find peace everyday. My hair turns grey, I have lessons to learn. Memories of her in my soul burn, as the demons within me eat me alive. I could not believe she is not mine. The crime and fault was all mine and it's fine. I shall bear these burdens of pain. I go insane from the thoughts of you every second that flies by. Along with letting you go my soul left as well. Her name is always stuck on my lips. Her breathe got heavy from the touch of my fingertips.  Her knees go weak as I hugged her close. I was stuck to her like the Holy Ghost. She was indeed my addiction and I found it hard to let go. She will always be a memory through the storm, rain, hail, and snow. I am broken but I love as I was created to always do. I now love the man in the mirror he seems to have forgotten about you.

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

The broken hearted

The broken hearted take their time to get fixed. They have no tricks nor get any treats. They never trust the new people they meet. They never cheat, coz they know how it's feels. They stay in solitude during every meal. They watch the stars and gain peace from afar. They look back at the memories and scars. They never voice their opinions and live in their sins. They keep their distance from their friends and kin. The alcohol that thins my blood, makes me live less and want of no more love. Above are the heavens and down below lies hell.  In between we have stories in volumes to tell. The first heartbreak to the last. We smile with a broken mask. Walking the earth like every day living is a task. The still waters cannot move, the pain we have cannot elude. Like glue to a finger it sticks with you. How this occurred we haven't a clue. We know how to survive we know how it eats us up alive. Joy and happiness is something that never lasts. Yet I stand steadfast and strong. Knowing life treated me wrong. How do I change that and what do I do? I need to try and forget about you. 7 and a half years we spent in love. Your one mistake costed us dearly. Today I don't want your memories anywhere near me.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

Prized possession

The heart of a woman is a prize to earn. We fight so hard to make sure we win. See a relationship is easy as sin. Love her with your soul from within. As her beauty sparks desire, her beautiful eyes can set your soul on fire. You can't get tired enough of her hand in your. As the touch of her skin lingers through your pores. You watching her smile is the best part of your day. As her embrace makes the pain go away. Her life is barren with you near, your life in turn will bring forth tears. How do you know that she is special.  As you watch her sleep at night you know your cold heart is melting.  You kiss her forehead to see her eyes close. Your her shelter and she your precious rose. You try so hard to protect her from the world that chooses to cause harm. She kisses your lips to keep your violent temper calm.  You catch her tears that she always cries. You try to fix the pain that broken her from the inside. Your soul died and she brought you back to life. She may not be your wife but she is all that you need. She is the woman with the key to your happiness indeed. No one can figure out what love is all about.  No one walks through the tunnel of darkness without any doubt.  Your mouth speaks volumes of her in praise. You cherish the moments and count the days. For your eyes need to see her again.  Your heart is pained by the absence life holds. This is a love story foretold.  Which lasts a lifetime till we grow old. So keep her heart and don't let go, for you lose the person you would want to grow old with.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

My sweetest sin

Her beauty was always present to capture my soul. Her beautiful brown eyes took a part of me at whole. The motive was clear, the fear didn't stop me from reaching the goal. Her heart to win was my prize. Her deceit and lies were the hidden disguises. As time flies by I think about her beautiful face, I now realize as many have come none can take your place. The feeling of me holding you tight, keeping you safe while you sleep through the night. Her perfume was my intoxicating vibe, I imagined you one day to be my bride. We ride through life's endless journey and maze. The passion we shared for eachothers time left us in a craze. Her hair on my face says she is happy as she sleeps and breathes heavily with delight. With her hand in mine I took on the world in a fist fight. The touch of her skin as her goosebumps arose from slumber. I miss your favorite chillipowder and cucumber.  I ponder every moment how those 7 years past by. The memories sometimes bring tears of joy to my eyes. The sparkle in your eyes when I kiss your forehead and cannot be matched. To your soul I once was attached, the taste of your lips stuck with me throughout the day. The smile on your face told me how badly you missed me in everyway.  The hugs you gave me took away my anxiety.  The fights we had still gave me tranquility.  You laid my heart down with regret and time that I didn't have for you to spare. The obsession for you kept you close. Your absence is what I now miss the most. Yet it was so amazing to have you in my life. I was stuck on your love like a paper to glue. Yes I had to leave and I was without a clue. I stole the heart that now belongs to the one you call your own. You always wanted to hear me on the telephone when I wasn't around.  I was lost without your love till I was finally found. You were my queen and me you king.  I am happy I was once indulging in you as my sin.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

Emotionaless

The dreams of a broken heart can never be mended. The good that heart possesses is evident and intended.  On bended knees he pleaded for mercy to make the memories fade. He was always meant to be broken with every slice of life's sharp blade. Delayed was his happiness and momentarily did his joy last. Now he walks the face of the earth wearing a smile as a mask that fades so fast. He asks God a question about why he lives in despair.  He was but created only to love a care. He stares up at the sky. Watching the days pass by, he holds back the fear. And lives a lonely lie, he doesn't cry, nor does he remember a prayer that once lingered on his lips. He feels her skin on his as she closes her eyes while he touched her face with his fingertips. reality grips a hold of his life, as he thought she'd one-day be his wife. He remains happy and joyful in his life. To know he is but alone, his spirit has grown like the tree that stands. He started to rebuild his walls, which no woman will find easy to break. He knows the reflection in the mirror is someone who will never forsake. The rustling wings of a bird caught in between a rope is how he flutters to break free.  thank God the world doesn't see the real me. Shattered is his heart with no remorse does he conceal.  The memories though remain a pest. As I now remain emotionless.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

The empty soul

I look down the barrel of an empty bottle. As I watch my heart pass by at full throttle. I hobble and grab what's left of my dignity.  As I hang my head in shame of the past that lingers within me. Shattered were always the piece of what I once called a heart.  Replaced by memories I now cart. I start to wonder if I am wrong, I start to think of the reasons I clung on. Like a pawn to a chess board I sacrifice what's real. Like a bait to fish when bitten I silently scream. Tears have run dry, I can no longer cry. Wondering what comes next as we did bid goodbye. Yes I am gaining back what remains of my pride. I have this shell to crawl back into to avoid my soul from dying. I'm tried of being the doormat with all the cheating and lying. Trying to cope with life is hard, especially when. You have to look at how badly you've been scared. Your heart is as cold as the winter wind, you aren't filled with grief coz she was your sin. Your remorse is the reflection you see in the mirror, one-day death shall draw near. You will then cheer and embrace it with utmost joy. You'd no longer be someone's wound up toy. You did so well for so many years to build yourself up from all the tears. The anger inside me burns with an eternal flame. How did I let someone break me again. I look now at my reflection with sheer disgust. I crave for peace as a man does a woman's body with lust. I wish for peace as I rest momentarily. I wish for tranquility never to desert me. The sound of silence is deaffing, to such an extent, I'm choking on my fear of the love I temporarily lent. Bent is my pride and broken is my soul. Torn by the world, destroyed and cold.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

Nobody's child

She watched me grow up and she held me close. She gave me a handkerchief for my running nose. She feed me when I was hungry and wiped my tears dry. The she was always there until she died. God gave me a gift, which I hoped I could have cherished longer. She always held my hand to make me stronger.  She bore me in pain, yet she love me when I was troublesome and drove her insane. She was my mother in a a physical sense, and angel from above is what made things a suspense. I miss her everyday, and think about her every moment of my life. No one to hug me before I rest my head at night. She isn't around when I now need her the most, I walk the earth as a wandering ghost. Her presence is gone I can't feel her around.  My feet hit the ground all alone you aren't two steps behind me anymore. If only you knew how much I cared, if only you knew how much I'd give up for me to have my mother back. I know one-day you will look down from heaven and see me I know one-day you will be proud to know how well I survived lonely and hurt. That one-day will be when I return to the ground. Most people don't value the woman who gave them birth with love all around.  Never to seek and always to be needed a found.  These are the moments I miss you the most mama. I remain broken and lost, I fall so fast with no one hold. I wish you were around to make me feel less scared, now I hold my self look up to the heavens wondering if you remember me from up there. I know i always troubled you so much as a child. I know i grew up young and wild. Right now it's just me myself and i coz I'm nobody's child.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Me, myself and I

One-day fine day I will no longer cry. My tears will finally run dry, I will be cold yet will want no hand to hold. My soul may die as it enters the black hole. I will ride solo till I grow weak. One-day tis not love that I will seek. I will slumber with my demons that keeps my writhing in pain.  One-day my reflection in the mirror will not let me see shame. One-day on the curtain call, I shall be no more the shadow of the man I once was. My strength shall be the cause, of me being sane. Saved in the nick of time from above , I shall be sick of the same old love. Her voice shall no longer ring in my head, I shall no longer walk the earth with a soul that is dead. No longer will I feel her fingers on mine. The taste of her lips will be my crime. The smell of her skin shall be my sin. I will not lie she is but missed by my soul. For I have her heart no more to hold. Hence, my love is what makes me die.  I will be back one-day to just me, myself and I.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

I've become a memory

Sometimes you become the memories of her past. You wear on this smiling mask to let the world see how wonderful it can be. Yet you cry when you see her texts. With tears in your eyes you reply to the rest. You long for her fingers between yours to keep the feeling fresh. You remember her beautiful brown eyes that let's you fall in love with her every single time. Letting her go remains fresh in your mind, that painful feeling in your chest. The moments of joy like the dead now rest. You wish she knew how much you cared, how much you needed her and you were always there. She thought you weren't in love, but little did she know that's all God created you to do. Never to be loved in return, never for her heart for you to be earned. I learned the hard way once again in that she never wanted to be mine. You wake with the sunrise only to find. She slips away like the hands of time. She is not your future as you once dreamed. She cannot love you as it seemed.  So never make promises you can never keep, never tell someone you love them when you know you don't. It is but a temporary token. I will one-day feel no more pain for you cannot break what is already broken.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

The loving soul

The heart is a very powerful emotions, the love that grows is a potion anf fuel for your soul. The memories you cherish with her will last till you grow old. As you hold her close in a warm embrace. Her love for you isn't created to chase. Her tears are meant to be caught, her care and love is your food for thought.  Caught up in this Web of emotions. Life then moves in slow motion. The closure she has is your eminent drug. Intoxicated you feel as you drown deeper in love. You are but broken as she renders no more comfort to to your heart. Your journey is now world's apart, carted with challenges and misconstrued souls.  You planned on loving her forever as your ultimate goal. No longer does she remain one the end of a call. No longer doesn't she text at all, you were only but a passing phase. Your no longer mentally retarded with her love as a craze. This maze called life is very distant and it may part. Even though you loved her and miss her from the bottom of your heart. This phase isn't as clear as it seems. Her being there forever was just a dream. You did all you could to to make her yours. Your obsession made her leave and that was the cause. Pause everyday as my reflection in the mirror is what I stare at with disgust.  It was truly love and not lust. But I must be completed as my transformation awaits. I have died a million times to make me great. I am but a wonder and she lives within me. The end of the tunnel was not as clear as can be. Her name was the breath on my lips. The pores of her skin lingers on my fingertips.  Her breath on my neck as I hugged her for our last goodbye.  Was the day my soul eternally died. I cannot cry the tears which no longer exist. Her love for me now is like my soul it doesn't exist.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

Pieces of me

The mist that follows this cold winter morning. The sun rises but my soul isn't dawning. Broken and destroyed my heart cannot jump for joy.  I toy with my emotions,  I embrace my pain, her beauty is my my antidote to these wounds to self sustain. I gain from the knowledge of the past. A shattered hope, and fake smile of a mask. The task is very the burdens surreal, I know the devil is making me a happiness deal. I squeal with my sorrows and the brokeness and pain. Tis what leaves me deranged, cluthing my fear, holding back my tears. All but in vain, the mode of life is effectively growing, this love for her is slowly growing. Her memories linger in my mind so fresh. This wasn't anything but a test. She was the only person that mattered, now the pieces of my broken heart are scattered.  So I pick them up with utmost grief,  and I hold them together with sheer belief.  Love has always been my curse, coz when she leaves me every time I only have my broken heart to nurse.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

The essence of the past

She broke me from the inside as these tears I did not cry. Left me on the floor to die, a soul already broken, a heart already scared and bruised.  I feel so embarrassed as I'm left bemused.  how could I let my walls be broken, how could I let my shell be removed. I am lost without a clue. The few I trusted have now parted ways. The moments so cherishable that it made my day. I am but reminded of my past, she was worth me not wearing a mask. Yes she was a troublesome task to bear. Years went by with me always scared of the things we would do. The psychotic moments of brutality but the embrace and I love you was always true. Her head on my chest was a refuge to my soul. Her hand was always there for me to hold. The intoxicated soul of waiting for her near me. I indeed loved her so dearly. Her lips on mine were never a questionable why, yes kiss would take me high. She was my drug to which I had to say goodbye.  I did lie about the fact that said I didn't love you or care. She always stood by me making sure she was there. I stared at her beauty as she slept through the night. I always tried to make things right after every fight.  I held your fingers in between mine. I was a criminal and she was my crime. The warmth of her body pierces through my soul. Your memories I will cherish till I am old.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

The broken spirit

The sun will rise dawning on a new day. My soul embarks on a journey I once did dismay.  The world was grey, with a lifetime of my past. It haunts me with more reasons for me to ask. I am not worthy, I mellow and gloom in worries that start. Distance keeps our world's apart, a poet I am with a broken heart you cannot mend.  A wondering soul with memories that cannot to happiness lend a moment of peace. It leaves me shattered on my knees. I pick up the pieces as I must, yes another one bites the dust. I am an experienced animal on this journey called life. My possessiveness, anger, obsessiveness eats me alive. I drive into fear, as my death comes near to tease my soul. It too leaves like the memories of old. Cold and quiet on a winter night, nothing but the stars and frost bite infront of me. My solitude as my company, this life has given me nothing but pain. I have tried to pick myself up over and over again. I creep upto my sorrows and embrace them tight. My reflection in the mirror gives me the will to fight. So ashes to ashes and dust to dust. I will return to where I once came from as I must. I would like to be remembered as not a man of free. I want to be reminded of my moments of glee.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks