Trust and Love

She gave her heart to a man she thought she did know. He gave a broken promises to hold on to as together they grew old. She loved the sound of his voice, he made her his option and never first choice. She tried so hard to hold his hand in every moment she got. He always made excuses to spend time away from her even though they hardly fought. She loved him dearly and wished he'd tell her that too. He teased her and hurt her in public her self esteem never grew. She'd pray for him each night that he'd become a better man. He'd always look for other women to be with yet he never planned. She dreamt of a wedding fit for a queen. She pictured herself at the altar saying her vows to him was reality to be seen. Quite keen was her heart to say she belonged to him. Good women love the wrong men and that's their sin. On a cold rainy night he walked into a church. He bent his knees and folded his hands and smelt the cold moist dirt. He asked for forgiveness and told God he'd try to change in every thing he did once do. Tears streaming down his face, as he remembered what his parents put eachother through. He was doing something he promised himself as a child of a tender age. He promised himself he'd be better than the man he never looked up to. He ran as fast as he could and knocked on her door even though she was but fast asleep. As the door swung open he held her close and he did bitterly weep. He apologized and said his promises he'd keep till the day he did die. Out came from the other room a man enquiring "who's this guy?". A friend who's emotionally disturbed and need me to be there she replied. He stood on her porch drenched from tears and the rain. He said "I love you" and always will no matter how hard the circumstances get or how steep life bends. She wept so hard and said "I can't, cause the other man at home is my husband". Shattered and destroyed he stepped back and tried to hold himself together. He then realised there was something strange about the weather. He smiled and kissed her forehead saying one day I'll understand. She led him on to believe she loved him and tis her plan. He walked to the church and bent his knees to pray once again. He wished his life was back to normal. Unfortunately it was never going to be the same. He finds it hard to trust someone, he hates the words "I love you". He stays as far away from everyone cause one person destroyed a future so true. People call him deranged, shallow and dark from the start. There is always a woman who betrayed a man behind a broken heart. Trust and love is a gift with a heavy price to pay. If you can't fulfill that price, those three wonderful words is something you shouldn't say. 

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

It wasn't meant to be

She walked by him, and her fragrance swirled through the air. As she passed by he couldn't stop himself but stare. Her straight brown hair whisked with her stride. Her lips so soft parted by a smile. The most beautiful creature of a woman his eyes laid fixed upon. He thought about her from dusk till dawn. Embedded in his heart, he prayed for her happiness everyday. He didn't know her name. Yet her beauty clung to him like a bee to a flower in the wind. She'd be a man's blessing and not his sin. He knew he never caught her eye and always pictured her radiant smile. Thoughts of holding her hand, made his toes tingle. A woman that beautiful can't be single. He told himself to forget and move forward cause he can't deal with lament. He watched her pass by him after a few years had gone by. She lost her smile and her tears dried her pride. Never did he work up the nerve to even ask her for her name. He still saw her beauty all the same, one fine day. He saw her quietly seated, he asked if she'd mind if he said hi and greeted. She said she was waiting on a friend who was stopping by, he looked through her soul and noticed the lie. He smiled and wished her the time before her friend came. She said it out loud, "Kaitlyn", Kaitlyn is my name. She stretched out her hand and he felt her soft skin as he shook it in delight. She said it's a pleasure to meet you. Milady, the pleasure is mine to acquaint with you too. They talked for hours and he noticed the bruises on her arm and neck. He quietly sat by and smiled as he analysed every scar and her almost nearing death. Years went by and their bond grew stronger without any regret. He met her one fine day in the pouring rain, he knew quite well she was a victim of physical abuse. He loved her dearly and didn't want fear to grip her if his feelings were to be let loose. They stayed the closest friends and on that day she held another man in her arms with an umbrella to shade her from the rain so hard. She handed him her wedding card. Saying you have to be there your my best friend. He smiled and said "definitely, I'm here for you till the end". He watched her at the altar exchange her vows. The most beautiful bride he'd ever seen made him only say "wow". She was full of joy and breaking out with glee. He said to himself it wasn't meant to be me, she and her new found love walked out the church door. He went back to being a recluse that was the only life he did know. Sometimes it's okay to love someone for all eternity from a distance, your soul and heart for them will still grow. Watching them happy is satisfaction one will never know. If you love someone and you see them happy, don't question yourself and take a guess do I love them? Are they gonna say yes? All you can do keep them in your heart and bless. Happiness shall follow you no matter how difficult the test.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks