In loving memory

Sometimes you wonder why things go wrong. Is it the moments that pass or the beginning of a new song in your life unmasked. I looked to the heavens when you left me here. I asked God questions of answers I did fear. Tears rolled down my face, as I walked into your burial place. Traces of memories of all the times passed. I smiled with the broken mask. You held my hand to teach me how to walk. Karma is a cycle that always comes around. Mama was the first words in my mouth that I found. The privileged people get to see theirs grow old. Mine I treasured like gold. I lay in bed wishing you could take away my fear. A mother remains in a child's heart always dear. I know you remain in heaven and I remain forgotten on earth. As I threw the mud on your grave knowing from ashes till dirt. My time draws near. I shall have no more tears I shall be reunited with you within a few years. I bow my head in silence and I hold my chest in pain. Several years have gone by but mama your memories remain. Painfully you name is taken upon my lips, I still feel lost without your guiding fingertips. You bought me every toy I ever laid my eyes on. I still remember your favorite dish was a curry of prawns.  I hunger for you cooking, and miss the festive shopping and looking for everything that needed to be right. I remember the times I wasted with all those drunk late nights. I could have spent them with you and instead I chose not to. I regret my stupid decisions. And now I stand in a position, where I need your helping hand. Anger no longer fills me as I know you going away was God's plan. You may be deceased a few years now. But I still weep within and ask how. People are lucky to have mothers so true. I was lucky to be born from you. No longer am I a child but I keep your memories stuck like glue. One-day In heaven I shall rejoice and be with you. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A costly price

A broken heart you can't easily mend. A soul so lost as you stand on a cliffs end. Your troubling sorrows, as you seek hallowed ground. You search for love that can't be found. Her warm smile on your mind to trace, after all these years you still feel her warm embrace. Piece by piece you pick up your life. She isn't your sought after wife. She belongs to another, as you shudder to think. She looks back at the memories just like you and in quicksand she sinks. You ask her what does she miss the most, she will tell you how you held her close. And kissed her forehead everynight.  You just miss her being your Ms. Right. She wakes up now days wishing you were him. She looks at her child hoping that was the blessing of your kin. She too regrets everyday, alas you can't change the mistakes so grave. You lay down to look up at the clear dark sky. You feel the cool nights breeze drift by, the night before you is a lie. For happiness you can never attain. When all you feel is despair and pain. A costly mistake by a foolish girl, an egoistic boy who wanted to rule the world. Ambitions of lovers on two separate paths. Problem is their love grew from the same beating heart. The angels of heaven weep and stare as they live different lives without a care. Sometimes the broken have more compassion in the cruel world out there. A kiss from an angel that guards his soul, as he closes his eyes to rest. With her on his mind he places his life in a grueling test. So pick up your pieces and walk away. For you shall have you treasure one-day. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

His pride, his downfall

He stared up at the stars and looked back at the scars.  As her memories flashed by. He smiled as she brought joyful tears to his eyes to cry. She was his beautiful sin, he was her marvelous lie from within.  His face would be her smile as she opened her eyes. His lips to her forehead with a morning embrace.  She'd always have his smell on her skin. As the taste of her lips lingers. The strands of her hair on his fingers. He'd wait to see her beautiful brown eyes they could douse his anger so wild. She'd wait for his warm embrace, putting her tantrums in a distant place. She'd fear him finding someone new with grace. He'd fear her saying goodbye without a trace. The passion and love would flow like rapids in a river. Every touch of his brought about goosebumps and shiver. For fear never gripped love so young, yet habitually a song he sung as she laid her head to rest. Without his singing her sleep would not find her at best. She gave him hope and love, he gave her all he had. So how could so grand turn out so bad? She found another with a song to sing, someone new to actually wear their ring. She kept him close and never said goodbye.  He looks in the mirror shattered to watch his soul die. No more tears does he cry no more, fears does he hide. Many have come to help pick up the pieces.  How can you stop water from seeping through the cracks of so many. How can you love someone who dwells in the past for all the years of his life. He cannot see anyone else become his Ms.Right. So a wandering soul is what remains, he feels no remorse, or pain. Love was their gift which they both returned. He kept his ego, and she a lesson to learn. He'd never forget her love that let him to melt for a while. She'd never forget all about her being his pride to call. He remained blind to see his pride being his downfall. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Love bites

The gift of love is given to all to receive. It could make you strong or bring you to your knees. Should you choose to venture and attain it with grace, careful it may leave without a trace. He woke up everymorning to see an empty space. She no longer was by his side too admire her beauty and grace. No more coffee in bed as he'd always give her a cup. No more of him telling her lift your cute butt. She walked right out as he suffocated her breathless with love. Being obsessive isn't the possessiveness she did want. She needed her freedom and only her memories remain to haunt. He watches the rain fall down to the earth he smells the water upon the mud and dirt. He was a flirt who turned loyal and committed and true. She always wanted more than a few. Her heart belonged to him all a long, but her mind made him feel it was wrong. Tis not her body he wants, tis her beauty and presence for which his soul taunts. He doesn't have her around to feed her every meal. He doesn't have her smile for his stressful day to heal. He doesn't have her hand in his for him to kneel. He placed a ring on the wrong finger, he feels ashamed and that she's gone the embarrassement lingers. He looks for her in everyone he finds. Tis truly love that makes a man blind. Unkind and cruel is the world we share. As he watched her walk away and not care. Today regret fills both their souls, she wishes he could be there to hold. And he wishes she was here as he hugs his painful self egoistic side. Ironic is love as you watch two souls die. You cry no more tears, as you still count the years if you were together. Love let's you feel the cold stormy weather. Sometimes the stories of our life can't grow old. Sometimes we treasure the ones we love as gold. Tis a mistake to let me hold on to my ego so old. As the pride I once loved was a girl who I let walk out in the cold.  Never to turn back she went ahead I stare at my ego feel my soul dead.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Scars

Sometimes the eyes speak volumes where your lips stay sealed. You look back at the scars that just won't heal. As real as a baby to their mother's breast. You face your trails and overcome your tests. The best often walks by as the day grow cold. Her name on your lips tends to get old. Bold are your actions which shows the world she's your prize that with a heavy cost. Now you wander helpless and lost,  tossed through the waves your soul doesn't surrender.  Your heart torn to pieces like it was greeted by the blades of a blender. The smell of her skin still sticks on your body. The taste of her lips like intoxicating toddy.  Often you wonder how long has it been. She was your desirable sin. Like kin she remained reminiscent and lasts. Like a moment of pleasure for very long she now remains your past. The task of letting go isn't very easy, holding makes you fall to your knees. You know she was your remedy to this disease.  Her voice my refuge her touch my heartbeat. Her absence is my sorrows as I shiver between the breeze. She wears a title which isn't of mine, she isn't around to have me catch her tears she cries. Love is a funny little notion, it's not the cliché old potion. Tis a story with tales of a past, tis the key to the scars behind the mask.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The search

I often wonder what would it be like to meet the soulmate created for thee? Would she be caring and making you feel special like a infant to a parent's remedy.  You'd always seem to remember the good times and not the bad. From January to December she'd always make you glad. The tremble she'd get when you'd touch her skin, her heart beat pounding harder from within.  She'd be your sinful cure, she'd make your head spin in a galore. You wake up to her beautiful face, you'd hold her tight in a warm embrace. Her love as gentle as the bright blue sky, in her arms you'd wish to die. Her tears to hold, and her soul entwined to trace. Never have emotions left you this dismayed. Grey was once your world that wasn't appealing, now your scars she seemed to be healing. Kneeling before the Lord to thank him for your present. Good times don't last that's eminent.  Sometimes the walk turns lonely, sometimes it remains barren and leaves you in an array.  How you wish your last breath was near, to avoid seeing that day. She walks away and pays no heed to your cry, shattered and broken.  Your mask hides the tears you cry. You realize your human and feel what mortals call pain. She will never turn in your direction again. You lean on the memories and she craves on the present that lasts.  You both live no future in which two hearts once did want to bask. His bottle a remedy to replace her memories.  Her new lover to cure her pain. Tis a love story which will never be written again. So soulmates exist sometimes we let them go. We sit down and wait for them to come back walking through the door.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Haunting memories

Her simple life makes me jump with glee. Her smile embedded in my mind for all eternity. Tis her love that left me in dire, her embrace set my soul on fire. Those dimples on one side of her face as she smiled while saw that same trace. With grace she mellowed my flaring temper.  Her love makes me exempt her from my wrath. Little did I know that years from now we wouldn't be walking on the same path. Like child she was all I had. I know i wasn't caring enough and that made you made. As you'd wait for a phone call or a text which never came. I was definitely to blame. Her name is always on my mind, her memories I can't leave behind.  I was indeed blind to not see the truth.  Her pout was ever so cute. All the other women who walked in to my life, tried all they want but could never be my miss right. Tis always a place I keep reserved in my heart. That's always you right from the start. Years have gone by and at the memories I stare. I wish you were there, you taught me not to be heartless and broken to tears which I used to cry. Surely since you've gone my soul has died. Losing her was a gift she'd lift. In her life now I'd never fit, her perfect beauty. Left me in awe now she has someone who's making sure. He loves you more than I'd ever could. Of which I know you stay happy. I'm half the man he'd ever want to be and I feel crappie. So happiness is now what you have as its something you always wanted. I know that you'd make his perfect wife. But by your memories I am haunted.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Admiration

Her beauty and grace lasts long upon her face. Her smile shows you happiness and traces to her soul. You could stare at her beauty till the time you grow old. These tales foretold never forgotten.  Her smile like the rising sun and her touch as soft as cotton. The moments of love are special and cherished. Her breathe on your ears as she tells you how much she cares. The truth of her life makes you stare. Her eyes speak volumes of what makes her lips stay sealed. Her name on your and salvation is all you feel. You kneel before she walks through the door. Not of submission but how much you love her to let her know. The glow on her face as she can continously smile. You see the glitter of joy in her eyes. Purified is the pieces of you with simplicity of her presence in your life. Tis this that lats forever all throughout coz it's right. God marvels at his creation so perfect with care. She'd make you say that you'd always be there. Not coz you must, but those words slip through your mouth. Her frown leaves you in doubt. You can scout the oceans, seas and stars out there and about. Never will you find anything more beautiful than a woman's beauty to say it out loud. So if you have a woman admire her, love her, and care. If you don't admire the other women out there. For God gave the gift of sight for all to to admire and see. As you sit with glee.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Broken dreams

Her broken dreams he tried to fix, his pieces together she tried to click. Sick of the torture hurt by the pain. They both tried so hard to make it work over and over again. As moments they treasured, tis pleasure they didn't seek. His smile was her refuge as her happiness he tried to keep. As sleep filled her eyes his arms a pillow for all her life. Like a knife to his throat he treasured her close, he clings on to her memories like the Holy ghost.  As he tosses and turns wishing she was around. He let's his feet hit the ground as reality draws him near. Losing her was his fear, his tears are dry and he cries no more. She took all that he had and walked out the door. The glow on her face now distant and disappeared. Nothing anymore is vivid and clear, everything seems gloomy his life dark and disdained. All they feel is suffering and pain. Surely he cannot forget his past, he wears the smiling mask. As he basks in her memories and blots out his name.  This is the woman that owned his heart all the same. No one shall dare to take her place, no one else's embrace shall match her beautiful face. Sometimes tis easy to do what you must, now you understand the difference between love and lust. Passion is a gift as you steal her heart. Sorrows and woefulness is what you cart, you start to finish and the destination unknown. She no longer has you to call as her own. You feel all you could with a mind so sane. And now you feel like your friend is pain. So tis easy to keep your ego and pride, as watch your relationship die. So broken dreams aren't easy to fix as you anxiously wait for her embrace and kiss.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

My scars to hide

A woman's beauty exists to admire.  When you win heart with false promises you are a liar. Her desire is to have you till she grows old. She runs to her friends and tells them that you're more precious that silver or gold. She misses you when you aren't around. She cries everytime her feet touch the ground and finds you aren't there. When you walk out during a fight she remains scared, wondering if you'll ever come back. She holds you tight after you get slapped. Mapped is her soul to yours ever so great. The bond between you and her is fate. Sometimes she closes her eyes and can feel you near. As down her cheeks rolls a joyful tear. Clear is the thought of making you happy little does she know is her in your life that makes you complete. You wait for her text and calls to let you know that she still cares. She does the same to tell you that she wouldn't dare. Her eyes so beautiful you never want to watch them close. She stares at you to tell herself it's real. The day you kneel to place a ring her finger. That's the day she'll tell you how her feelings linger and never die. She wants love and care from you coz your her type of guy. You look up at stars holding her hand, she thinks it's your romantic plan. She doesn't realize you contemplate does the night sky look more beautiful that this girl with me on this date? Her hair falls perfect and you melt at her smile. The male ego kicks in and your serious face says I'm alright'. They say love stories are but only a myth, the tales of old were written real quick. This is but a story of the soul, embedded in my heart long foretold.  Love stories do exist, with the person who you now miss. It was not her beauty or smile, body and kiss. Tis moments with her that I cherished.  She and I were called fate. Sometimes I wonder of the existence of a soulmate. God is never cruel he is but kind, he did give me an cherubim to love once upon a time in my life. Well now your not mine but someone else's wife. 11 years 2 months to this day that's we parted ways. You regret all my masculine pride, I regret the decisions you made to let our love die. Now you want reconciliation for the past, while I wear my human mask. You have your family for your safety to abide. I have the mask for my scars to hide.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

One-day

As distress once ate at my soul. Her voice brought peace and made me whole.  My goal was certain and my path was set. How wrong was I to have  thought in strange such a manner. As the banners were clear and things were glim the rain washed away my daily sins. Keen was a wish and broken down was what I once called a heart. Now sorrows and memories is all I cart. Her name brought about this certain calm. When she opened her eyes and I wasn't around she was alarmed. Like a farmed animal my fingers ran through her hair. As I coaxed her back to sleep with care. A kiss on her forehead to then hold her tight. I was her comfort every night. The cold weather conditions was on a mission to make her shiver. While I let wishkey ruin my liver, in her absence so wild. She was like my first and last child. Her mellow voice filled my soul, her taste remained  in my mouth till I grow old. Like a corpse I lay still to listen to her breathe. Her heart is all that I did need. To feed on my anger only to have her touch, tell me it's okay. I'd just smile to endure my pain. Things are now only but deception, as disgust fills me as I stare at my reflection.  Years have gone by as I watched you wear his ring, times have changed and you're no longer my sin. One-day I shall find her who will give me my fresh start. One-day she will love the broken pieces of my heart. One-day she shall replace the memories I share with you. One-day she will give me her days of new. One-day I will call her my destiny, as I walk through heavens gate.  One-day she shall be my soul mate, and that day will be too late as you'd understand your folly. No more will my lips say I love 'you' with such joy. One-day my heart will not be available for you to toy.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

My broken soul

Happiness is a key to her smile, you hold her heart all the days of your life. She walks those miles thinking she's all alone. She waits up all night to hear your voice over the telephone. Her eyes light up every time your home. She weeps your name during every fight. She holds you close and tight as the open window beams the pale moonlight.  The nights seem short and the days so long.  You run your fingers through her hair as you sing her favorite song. You watch her eyes grow heavy and her body loosens up. You wake her up with breakfast in bed and her coffee cup with a kiss on her head. She hugs you tight instead to tell you she cares. The  stupidest thing you could do is stare like a clown. She looks adorable staring back with the confused frown. She loves her beauty sleep and power naps. She'd skip her meals unless you feed her when she sits on your lap. You'd cook her food and she'd watch with love. She talks about your children which the Lord will provide from above. She'd tuck herself in on a cold winter night snuggle up to you no matter how bad the fight. You're smell stuck on her as your cologne gives her goosebumps all day. She sticks to you like gum to a shoe in everyway. She hopes to turn old and grey with you always around. Soulmates like this aren't easily found, bound by love, passion and care. You'd give up all the wrong ways and leven, she the closest to heaven that you'll every be. She is the only angel in reality. Now we're just two wandering souls drifted apart, I picked up the pieces while someone else stole her heart. I was never rich nor will I ever be able of a fortune to own. She was my prized possession I cherished alone. I was never handsome, but her heart at ransom I kept. I am not perfect yet she made complete, all I have now is empty promises I still try to keep. I slumber not for I fear death shall part her path from mine for eternity.  She deserves happiness love, care and certainty. I was not written in your destiny nor you in mine. Your happiness matters as I watch the sands of time. They slip so easy and hard to hold. This a story of my broken soul.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

To love a woman

A woman's heart is the kindest of tools. Breaking it is not very cool. She is mellow gentle and soft. Her dreams to be cherished and her love never to be lost. Her smile can brighten up your day. Her passion for everything she does marvels me in amazement in everyway. She can calm you when your temper flairs, she displays utmost love and care. She shares your ambitions and pushes you closer to your goal. She leaves hers behind surprisingly coz she loves you more. She submits herself to times when you're wrong. She puts your children to sleep with a wonderful song. For you to hold her each day she longs, she waits for appreciation for how much she does. She too can be care free and easy without any love. Her name sends smiles on the faces of your friends. For they wish they were you when the day ends. You really wouldn't realize how fortunate a man can get. Till he's lost the soulmate he met, his love in debt of all the things passed by. As he sits now woeful in misery and cries. He wonders of the things to come, he cherishes her memories never forgotten as they are together as one. Her  aroma gives him a delusional state. The taste of her lips on his is always great. It remains no matter how far he treads. He gets to hold her when he lays his head. The mornings bring laughter the time flies by. Her soul entwined with his till the day that he dies. His grave stone visited and she sheds her tears. He's not around to catch them and chase away her fears. Like moments of magic her passion for you makes you whole. She is indeed more precious than sliver or gold. Myths and legends created around love. Sometimes we have our own stories as our soulmates are created by the Lord above.  So respecting a woman and all her love. Is vital in any situation beyond career, ambitious greed. For she is the one you will grow old to see. The remarkable fact that will change things and show you care. Is when you stop and at her beauty stare. Take in her soul by looking into her eyes. Find out what makes her happy, and things that bring fear. Catch every drop of her tears. Kiss her when she's angry. Hug her when she's got the flu, love her when she's lonely. And she'll always be there for you, loving a woman is as easy as can be. Give her the care and love she needs. Also some valuable time. Don't make the same mistakes I did or you'd be sitting on this Planet with alcohol and more of time. Making poems of your mistakes by making words rhyme.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Essence of her love

What captures the soul? What makes your head focus on a goal so smart. Win her heart right from the start. Her beauty is the essence which makes things right, as you smile seeing how well she prolonged the fight. You find the magnification of her beautiful brown eyes. You make certain you catch every tear she cries. Her brown hair falls so gently upon her face. You watch her walk past you with such elegance and grace. The smile she has shows traces of love. She is indeed created by God above. The touch of her hands makes you tremble with desire, the whispering of the words 'i love you' takes you higher. She cannot fathom a life without you there. You losing her is what makes you scared. Her voice brings about a calm. Her love makes your scars dissappear like it was a balm. Your name on her lips and your touch on her palm. You leaving and never coming back is what keeps her alarmed. Your heart belongs to her and she feels love. She thinks having you she's blessed by the Lord above. Little does she know how fortunate you are to be. For you own the heart of a woman so beautiful that the gods marvel at their creation for all eternity.  Her hair on your face is lyrics to one's lips. The touch of her skin is like velvet to your fingertips. So to love a woman isn't easy, yet we don't really try. She isn't complicated, as long as you understand her without ulterior motives in mind. She can own your heart till the end of time.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks