If only

He laid back in bed with the sun beaming through his window pane. He looks beside the pillow that lays bare. He looks up at the ceiling and begins to stare. As the mystical memories of her passing through his imaginary mind. He searched for answers he did not find. He remained blinded by her love and didn't see the truth. For her it was a magical night and she found him cute. He fell in love with her from the moment they met. He was another heart she broke, and never wanted to say a vow 'till death' as a symbolic clock. All he could remember was the smell of her skin, the taste of her lips. Alas! That's when reality grips, like a slow poison that slips through his veins. He remained mesmerized by her elegance and charm. He wanted love and that was her alarm. Calm was his thoughts when he pictures her smile. He woke up out of his bed, as he usually did. Slipped his feet into his slippers and marched off to his loo. Brushed his teeth always thinking about her, through and through. He couldn't imagine how beautiful she was and wished she said bye before she left. Her dimples and smile and that beautiful pout and cleft. He sat at his table with his leftovers as breakfast to spare. His appetite disappeared as all he could do was stare at his plate. He shook his head and smiled even though for work he was running late. He put on his clothes and rushed for the door. Runs back for his cane, indeed to forget it, for a blind man in this busy city would be a pain. He surged through the city and found his train. Sat back and wondered how her thoughts drove him insane. If only he could witness her beauty without a touch. If only his eyes could picture her as such. If only we had his sense of vision and could clearly see. A woman and her eternal beauty. If we were blind and needed to only but touch to notice her render a smile. We would appreciate her beauty for all the while. If only we had to kiss her lips to embrace her essence and smell her desire. We would be better at keeping a woman's love effervescent like a church choir. Sometimes it's better to be blind to appreciate a woman's beauty which you can't see. Tis then you can love her for all eternity.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A woman's beauty defined

A woman is so well defined by the emotions she just can't hide. She finds love in all the wrong places, and her soul loses its traces. Her disgraces eats her alive, here is something we don't know  about her, or when we try to look into mind. Her beauty and kindness for all to see, no woman is ever ugly. There was a special girl I once knew. The most beautiful woman she did turn into. Her description is easy yet words are hard to find. You'd understand her beauty even if you were blind. Her skin so gentle, and her eyes so brown that the raw sandalwood could frown. Her hair smelt fresher than a daisy with dew. I was lucky to love her, to let her go I know I'm cruel. Her smile so radiant, the sun basked brighter each day. Her hugs so warm it would push my sorrows away. Her laughter could wake your soul. I'd kiss her forehead to see her eyes close and forever wish to have her to hold. The pout of her lips was the most adorable thing. I wasn't her reckoning tis her that was my sin. She'd hold my hand as tiny as her palm could get. She even loved the smell of my sweat. Her beauty wasn't matched by anyone to this day and age. Her heart beats in my chest now uncaged. Her rage and fury was mellowed by me alone. Blessings upon the soul that faced her wrath. She stole my soul and me her heart. She had no choice but a new journey to start. She'd burst into tears if the tiniest bit hurt. She was strong enough to pick herself up and wipe off the dirt. She didn't need me as her shield. She fought her own battles yet showed me her vulnerabilities, which made me think she needed me. I was young and foolish not to understand. The woman I had was so unique, so grand. I sit back pondering on what and how things might have been. She was indeed my sin, she is part of my soul which I dearly hold. No woman can ever take her place. No woman can ever have such beauty upon her face. See most men forget the strength and uniqueness a woman can and does possess. She goes through the ultimate test. She waits to hear her man applaud her actions, her smile broadens in a second's fraction. She waits to be held in the arms of the one she loves. She longs to be told she is beautiful and wanted. She waits for her scars to heal and watch the memories no longer daunting. She is special and created to love. Submissive she may be, take her for granted and her anger you will see. All women are created beautiful and to be loved. God sits in heaven and admires his handiwork from above. She is his masterpiece that can steal your soul and stick to you with love  like vines on a grape that it holds. Her beauty is to be admired and not molested or raped. She is woman so well defined men need to stop crossing the line of yellow tape. If a woman is created to be beautiful, caring, and kind. A man is to cherish her beauty at all times. Let's stop the rape, teasing and molestation too, we sometimes act like patients from an asylum of the mentally ill. I know it's a bitter pill, lets be gentlemen still.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks (Masculinist)

The Last Dance

He walks the earth as a lonely soul, he found several girls he couldn't love nor hold. One day he walks by to a banquet he didn't have any intention to go. Her radiant glow and the sparkle in her eyes, made the chandeliers light quite subtle and mild. He walked by and on a bended knee asked 'may I have this dance milady'. She acknowledged and obliged, as they waltz through the halls all night. Not a care in the world about the others around. Her head on his shoulder and she didn't make a sound. Her beautiful brown eyes glistening under the light, her face fell gently on his stubble and this felt right. They finally stopped dancing to sip on a drink. That's when he began to think. His intentions were clear and in her eyes resided joyful tears. A mere moment for one to cherish as this treasure hunt, for love gave way to this chase. Once out of place and now infront of him stood this beautiful face. With eyes as brown as the fur of a bear, locks so long and smooth to silk even one can't compare. She stared into his soul with just a glance as he held her hand for one last dance. She glanced up at the clock to notice the time with surprise as if she commited a crime. He walked her to a distance and she went on her way. Wondering if she'd ever see him again, she loved his company and missed his presence being near. Not seeing him again was her biggest fear. She thought about him night and day, and he laid down in bed with her face running in his mind in every possible way. He wondered if he has committed a sin dancing with a fallen angel isn't a grace of God kinda thing. For her beauty is incomparable to a mortal woman of earth, for one to ponder and think. She tried her best to hide her wedding ring. She couldn't tell him that she was the mother of two, he didn't have the slightest clue. He kept himself engrossed and tried his best to find her. People told him otherwise, yet he remained like a horse with blinders. Till one day their paths crossed again with a child in her arms and she held the hand of another. He saw that and knew he fell in love with the beauty of a wife and mother. Adultery is sin he is very familiar with, he didn't let the knife slit his wrists for another heart break. He smiles thinking he danced with an angel so divine. He didn't want to break her marriage and family to be ripped apart. He just picked up the pieces of his broken heart. He respected his moment and had one last glance. With the most beautiful woman he had his wonderful dance. He gazed upon her husband as he stared at every woman who walked by. He wondered how blinded the soul is to let her prance by. Sometimes we don't respect the love we have, we look for solice in everything that makes us pleased and glad. Pleasure is momentary gain. One man's treasure is another man's pain.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

No more tears left to cry

He sits by the window and watches the trees rustle in the wind. He plays his favourite song and begins to sing. He's dressed up for his wedding like he did a few years ago. She left him alone at the alter and he nothing but his pride to show. He keeps her ring in his pocket, taking it once in a while. He looks at the glittering diamond and begins to lose his smile. He sips on his glass of whiskey, and thinks about the reason why. She sits with her child and wonders if the mistake she made would cost her so dearly her life. She didn't have the heart to tell him that the child she carried wasn't his. He watches the birds fly back to their nest on an evening filled with bliss. He wished he could kiss her forehead and watch the sparkle in her eyes. He wished he could hold her and tell her he loved her even after all those lies. He may not be able to love another anymore. He wishes she'd come walking through the door. The glow of her skin was his radiant light. Especially when he'd hold her through the night. He'd always apologize after every fight just to watch her smile. No body could break his pride until he went to hell for a while. Beguiling his emotions and now heartless he remains, causing nothing but heartbreaking emotional pain. He gains from hurting others and take pleasure in doing the same. He'll never say I love you to another woman again. His one true love alas couldn't be happier, that she has a family of her own. No matter how many times he tries to call she just wouldn't pick up that phone. She'd burst into tears while he sits back growing older with the passing years. His fears grow stronger and kills all his emotions dry, he has no more tears left to cry.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A promise well kept

Sitting by the open fire watching as the logs burn. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes as the memories in his mind pass by. The logs burning crackle in the flame. He has only but himself to blame. His love for grew stronger as the fire blazed higher. She was his drug that had his heart and captivated her soul. He didn't want to leave but she had an ace up her sleeve which made him always stay two steps of her everyday. He'd wake up each morning to watch her sleep, he'd kiss her forehead and her smile was priceless as could be. She loved every inch of him and nothing mattered more. They both wished they would grow old together. They lasted for years but couldn't complete a decade. His sweat, his touch, his kiss, was all that, but she did miss. Her name was on his lips every moment he wished for her near. Tears stream down his face as he thinks about how his fingers always found her beautiful face. Her brown eyes melted his heart, her hugs were his morning jumpstart. Her kisses were like his ecstasy and always made him close his eyes. Now his soul has died and he can't relate as to how he fell so madly in love. Was it from the moment he held her hand or when her angelic face captured his soul. He has no one to love and doesn't have her to hold. She moved forward while he sat back and pondered what went wrong. She found another behind his back, she didn't have the strength to deal with that. Walking away was her only choice stay back to fight was what he did ever since he was a boy. She didn't know how she hurt and he didn't know how he felt the pain. He never ever remained the same. The logs burn out and the fire doused soon. He walked towards the cliff and looked up at the  glaring moon. He sits down and wonders what comes next. He leaps forward to his death. He crashed to the ground from a height unaccounted. He smiled as his soul left his body so mounted. He left the earth and his heart beated the last for the woman he loved dearly. He kept his promise till my last breath, and embraced his inevitable death.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The Unspoken

When the sun rises, she wakes up and chases her dreams. When the sun sets she lives with no regrets, till she thinks about the past. Her heart beats faster at the sound of his name even if someone does ask. She touches her hand to remind herself if it's real. Doesn't seem like the same or as much as it should seem. She clutches her pillow and a flurry of tears flow like a stream. As years have past by she misses his soul. Love is a great feeling up until it lasts, you think so much and it's a hurting past. She curls up her body just like a ball and wears fake smiling mask. She pictures him by her bedside standing tall. She wonders if he is happy and prosperous at all. She still wishes the best for him with her heart and soul not knowing why does she feel. He looks out his window as he gulps down the last drop of whiskey from the bottle to douse his sorrow. He misses her which leaves him hollow. He doesn't cry and keeps to himself. We walks away from people and thinks this way is the best for the situation to be dealt. She melted each time he said he cared. Her heart skipped a beat when he'd give her a scare. Her skin on his fingertips was like a drug coursing through his veins. Her bites on him never gave him any pain. His arms around her was comforting and true. They loved each other and did not have a clue. From friends to close pals but lovers they did not become. She searched for her heart to be stolen by someone. Tis but a shame, he stole it first, his silence was nothing but his awful curse. She found someone new and that broke his heart knowing that they now will always be apart. He avoided her and kept his door closed. No matter how many times she knocked he'd wait for her to go. He didn't want her to be unhappy because of his interference of so. How much they loved eachother heaven did know. To grow old together was his dream, to wear his ring was a reality on which she was keen. Her silence made this a nightmare for all to be see. She finally decided to tell him how she felt and how much she cared. She strolled over to his house and knocked on his door terrified and scared, not knowing what she will find. His door flew open and into his arms she found comfort once again for a significant time. It was the same they held eachother and did not say a word. She placed her head on chest as he knew he won over his special girl. They never woke up the next morning and they were found dead after a week. Love is something most of us seek. It's not a poem that is for the meek, if you love someone don't bite your tongue. Tell her you love her and enjoy every moment you can son. Death comes to visit as our souls we can never own, tell her you love her and how your feelings for her have grown.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Ashes to Ashes love to dust

She sits by the window and watches the blue sky. Tears stream down her face yet she has no clue how beautiful she looks with that smile and grace. With him not around to catch every tear, chase away her biggest fear, hold her near when she is but weak. His love she still does seek, she felt pain and anger when he left, she knew nothing would put their love to the best. She is at best without him near, but things like this can never be clear. She watches a pair of birds perched on the windowsill, she knows her heart beats for him still. She remembers his touch, and craves for his love his determination and will. She could do with another fight and argument to see him again. Her brown hair always has been to him an aroma so dear. Her brown eyes lit up a room when she was near. Her lips would speak volumes and he'd lend his ear and listen. He hated all her emotional hugging and kissing. Her memories now fade as reality takes place. She finds herself in a familiar trace by the window and gazing at the sky and the birds. Her heart broke years ago with the news she heard. He wasn't a nerd but he loved reading books, she finished each and every one on that shelf as you look. His absence made her disbelieve in love, commitment and promises which says forever. She now knows those were but a myth. She waited by the phone, and it not ringing was not a gift. Her hopes of him walking through the door blinded her rationality some more. As she overlooked the news paper clip of his tragic death. He wasn't coming back as with an accident he met. She couldn't believe that he was gone, she sat by window and listened everyday to his favourite songs. Like a gong it rings in her soul, as tears down her cheeks do roll. She thinks of his life and how she has to live without him now. As her cries echo and her howl reaches the heavens during the day. "Why Lord did you take him away". Life is cruel in every way, cherish what you have and love what you must. One day we shall all return to the dust. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

I'll never love again

A heart is the most precious treasure one must cherish. If it does break a person's soul does perish. All you are left with is memories you caress, as you failed this test. Walking away didn't solve the problem or heal the pain. Staying silent didn't help in anyway but made you go insane. Then you sit and wonder I wish I could've said goodbye, hold your hand and kiss you one last time. Instead I walked away turned my head never to look down your path again. I never thought about your feelings, I was young and stupid as could be. And you were a girl growing up to love me. I broke her heart in two and cried silently for you. We both look back at the memories and you try to save a part of me. I can't feel someone else's touch, I can't tolerate someone else's lips. I can't find those goosebumps through another person's finger tips. Your name falls constantly off my lips, I lose my mind trying so hard to make my life stick. I can't give my heart away to another stranger, as the danger is I've lost my soul. Now all I find is fool's gold. I can't hold on too long to someone else's body as I try to embrace. My heart takes me back to you like the end of a maze. The phase I thought it was for all those years, was actually love in disguise. Life plays these tricks with me all the time. I still go through your pictures and see how better off you are without me. But the look in your eyes says you still miss and wish I was him. I stay away cause adultery is a sin. I never let another day begin without you running in my thoughts of you and your kin. I remain in darkness and don't let the sunlight in. Cause I can't love again, it's hard for me to find someone else who is exactly like you. I left behind a flurry of broken hearts and bad karma to follow my name me without a clue. Indeed my soul is lost I can never love again, cause everywhere I search I look for a little bit of you in that someone new.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Remember her that way

The ocean always brought about a calm. As the waves hit the rocks and yet to me brought on no harm. He looked at the horizon, and knew she was his poison. She'd creep up beside him and hug him to show she cared. To lose her would make him mortality scared. He dared to venture on this path called love, knowing the destination would be uncertain and for the worst. He wandered deep in her love and till today his broken heart he does curse. Like mercury his hands would slither through the lines of her face. Tracing every inch of her skin, he'd kiss her forehead and close his eyes knowing very well she was his sin. An angel of beauty with hair as long as the vines of a creeper. Brown as the leaves of autumn upon a tree which made his love for her grow deeper. Her eyes pierced through his soul and his spirit fell asleep. When she walked out the door his eyes could only weep. She was never his and yet his lips speak her name. He talks about her to himself and has only himself to blame. The memories flash by like a book of fairytales to a child. His heart now broken and he roams the earth free and wild. Mild is the feeling of emotions that beats within his soul. She isn't around anymore for him to lovingly hold. Her lips now kiss another while he saves his for his last. He can't look towards a future as he is stuck dwelling in the past. The mask he wants and wears, is at best his instrument for hiding his scars. He takes it off and looks in tranquility at the stars. Love is a good thing when it lasts forever. But forever is myth that leads to never. Clever is his wit to hide his feelings with fun and it indeed can be heard. So when he's all choked up, and can't find the words. Each time he thinks about her saying goodbye, oh boy!it sure does hurt. He keeps her memories in his heart to stay. Cause he'll always remember her that way.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The beautiful heart

She grows into your soul, yet a creative work of God so divine. Her beauty infatuating and sublime. I'd sit there and watch her brush her hair as she doesn't realise all that I do. Her love for me grew, strong or weak I can't really decide. But, tis me that was once blessed to have the most beautiful woman by my side. Her brown eyes are always changing its colour and varies to black. She looks in the mirror and can't really see the difference when I tell her that. When you watch her from your soul. You would have her to hold. Women, don't get that all men don't think alike. Some respect the beautiful face they have. Some just think they are glad when they leave during a fight. I sit here and watch the stars and look down at her scars. By far it's easy to love than to hate, I look up at her in heaven as I stare from hells gates. An angel without wings and yet she touches your soul, her lips speak your name and that's an honor. Her warm is better than a sauna. I corner her heart and steal her away. She runs on my mind all night and day. She loves you in ways that can't be expressed in words. She is a woman ambitiousness that hurls obstacles away. Loving her is a great deal in every way, pride sometimes steals her love. Yet, we forget a woman is a gift of God from above. It's easy to love someone and find that beautiful face difficult to love everyday. You start to miss her when she slips away. Now you sit back and wonder where it all went wrong. Using that guitar to play those classic love songs. She isn't around to hear you sing your tune. If you could change the past and wishing you could do that real soon. So a broken heart can't be mended, nor can a mystery be solved without a clue. She can't hear you say I still love you.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Mummy's birthday

She looks down from the heavens and watches all my sins. I wonder at the time of trouble does she cover me with her wings. I wonder if she remembers the pain I caused her to bring me forth into this world, as my thoughts so hinge on the fact that I was the expected girl. I wonder if she remembers my first steps as she held my hand. I wonder if I lived up to her expectations of how my life she did plan. She feed me when I couldn't speak and nursed me when I cried. I regret I could have been a better son as I cannot change the past for someone who died.  She gave me life and I saw God take her's in return. Angels belong in heaven to see you, I wait my turn. It's been a few years and I'm muscular and strong from the outside. Yet, I weep these years of sorrow on my pillow from my bedside. A mother is a woman who loves you even though you are inside. She thinks about your name and how special you'd be beside her. You're her cure for any sickness and disease. She smiles when she does see me. I was a child but held her close when she cried. Now that you're gone who's there to hold me tight? She'd ask me where I'd been and who my new girlfriend was. Alas! She knew and yet the truth she did make me spill. She saw me slit my wrists and asked if I was mad. I laughed out loud and said I was sad. I didn't think about and how much pain she felt. I now weep on bended knees and thank her for all my trouble she had dealt trying to raise me. Her love so effervescent and abundant like the river it does flow. I wish you were near me to hold you once more. I wish you could see me now, all grown up and free. But I'd give anything to have back my mummy. Well I wish these poems fly to heaven, as stupid as that sounds. Well it beats the feeling of pain knowing you aren't around. From the ground we were taken and to it shall we return. I might not be in heaven for my good deeds I haven't earned. I have learnt to live without you and I think that is but a lie. My heart aches knowing you are in your grave looking up at the sky, blue and sometimes grey. I miss you so much I put your picture away. So maybe one-day you'd know, I miss you so, and when I have the words to say just like today.  I'd say something more than just mama, happy birthday.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

I'm jealous your happy without me

I'm jealous of the rain, that falls upon your skin. It's closer than my hands have been. I'm jealous of the wind, that ripples through your clothes it's closer than your shadow. Cause I wished you the best of all this world could give. I'm jealous of the nights that I don't spend with you, I'm wondering who you lay next to. I'm jealous of the love, love that was in here, gone for someone new, as I sit here reminiscent of the haunting memories of you. I'm jealous of the sunrays that makes you radiant and beautiful to behold. Yet, I admire that beauty till the time I grow old. I'm jealous of the way your smile is no longer mine. It belongs to someone who I hope respects you all the time. I'm jealous of the pillow that gives your head comfort while you rest. While I lay in an empty bed and bare chest, without your head upon it to be placed. I'm jealous of your mirror that sees your reflection all the time. Your make-up wasn't alot, but I wish I could stare at you till you ask me what? And I look away always smiling and hurt. I'm jealous of your comb that brushes through your hair. As my fingers once did when I was there. I'm jealous of his hands that get to touch your face. I used to do so after our warm embrace. I'm jealous of your lips that speak volumes of wisdom all the same. Yet, they don't bear my name. I'm jealous of your ears that listen and eve's drop on the conversation of a few. But will never  again get to hear me say I love you. I'm jealous of the ring you wear upon your finger. You used to fit your fingers in between mine when we were on the right track. Alas! I was young, stupid and wisdom I did lack. But when I left you and let you go I always thought you'd come back, and tell me, that all you found was heartbreak and misery. And today, its hard for me to say this so free, I'm jealous of the fact that your happy without me.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Solider of love

He watches the sunrise with his head held high. The taste of the whiskey on his lips, makes his throat dry. The stories of war don't make him cry. There are other battles that makes his soul die. Like torn pieces of paper his heart does break, his recollection of her makes him see the truth of his blunder. She sits and does wonder what went wrong, he sits back listening to her favourite song. She once panicked at the thought of him coming home late. His favourite bar made him stand drunk at the gate. God brought them together yet fate, tore them apart. Left behind are their memories and pieces of a broken heart. He picked up a gun and joined a battalion in battle. She stay home waiting for a letter that would make her heart rattle. He did write everyday cause he missed her so. She would read them cry as time carefully did move and grow. Slow was the poison of them being away. He won his ranks and her memories started to draw blanks. She one day met someone that was always there. Loving and always proving he cared. Scared was her heart to love someone new. She did find her love began to bloom. A solider fought to stay alive to see her again. She woke up everymorning with someone else's last name. Her letters stopped and she continued to collect his. She'd read them with love as she always did. It took but only a while, to move on from his love so desolate and wild. She now bore someone else's child. His war was won and in a wheelchair he stood sober at the gate. A barren home which left him feeling less great. He heard the neighborhood whispers of her new found love. He witnessed it with a smile as their paths crossed after years of passing by. He went back to his house with haunting memories of her presence that once filled his life. He went out to war to make money and her his wife. He sat back with a bottle of gin and recollections of his life. He lived in desolation and cried himself to sleep. His life, legs and love he couldn't keep. Withering like a leaf on a winter's season. He lived now without any reason. He'd secretly admired her beauty as her daughter played in the park. He'd wish she was near him as he sat by his window in the dark. Staring at the night sky and thinking of the twinkling in her eyes. Everytime he'd say I love you more than my own life. He'd hold her hand and kiss her forehead as if she were his wife. His fingertips upon her face as he'd find the tenderness of her skin to trace. She'd lay back down with her head on his chest as he'd smell the aroma of her hair to place his soul to sleep. His last breath ran out of his lungs with her memories to keep. His burial was grand and everyone was present including the one woman he loved and couldn't keep. He died in his sleep to her favourite song playing on the radio. The heavens opened their door to a solider of love.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her love exists

Sometimes it's hard to catch the tears of a woman who cries. She looks forward to the truth and gets only lies. Her ties with her loved ones are cut off, the one she loves is more than enough. She sits through the storm and gazes up at the sky. She watches the lightning pass her by, the rain washes away her pain and yet she still does sigh. Her soul has died with his presence being near. She lost her name and that was her biggest fear. Clear as the blue sky she has tried to move on. Yet the radio plays their favourite song. Peace has always followed her until she laid her eyes upon him. She was his deadliest sin. The moment of silence as she thought she heard his voice from within. It makes her feel anxious all over again. The power of love is a mysterious thing. Her heart beats faster when he holds her hand. His lips on her forehead makes her feel grand. His arms are her comfort in this wonderful plan. The birds chirping makes that sound soothing and pure. The weather tells her, that her love is galore. He ran his fingertips through her hair and touches her skin and explores her some more. She is still a living proof that love exists. Sometimes it's hard to imagine the twist. Holding on the past is easy as a lisp. Letting go proves your stronger than this.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Love is eternal

She gave her all and he had his back against the wall, he stood tall holding her hand. They had forever, in their plans. Grand was the thought of being together. Standing by eachother through hail and storm. He would hold her tight to keep her warm. The cold blizzard raging, their love solemnly engaging in emotions that can't be explained. As their love grew like the plants needed the rain. The pain then struck him and he knew she was no longer around. As the pillow beside him was empty as he found. His dream was a nightmare which he lives everyday. As she wasn't as he did pray for her happiness in every way. He turns around with tears that stream down his face. As he picture he clings to and does embrace. Years have gone by and he lives with fear. The love of his life was no longer near, she left him in discomfort and didn't heal his pain. While he touched her scars and chased her past from her name. Her lips bore his love and her heart his soul, her cured her of the past that bound her and hold. She found another and wanted security in her life, she chose to give up the dream of being his wife. His voice echoes now through the lonely rooms. He never did become anyone else's groom. She did become someone else's bride. The promises she made forever was always a lie. His pride he clings to and he will not replace her for another. Many have tried to take her place, but he looks for her in all of their beautiful faces. The traces of her skin lays constant on his fingertips. She was and is always going to have his heart in her grip. She tips his soul for the rest of his life. She cannot be his children's love story he tells them every night. He clings to his pillow and she holds on to another man which is right. For her out of sight is out of mind, for him without her he is but blind. One fine day as his last breath leaves his lungs. The funeral hymns have been sung. She weeps at his demise as her husband asks do you know this man well? She hid the truth and the lie she did tell. That he was an old friend who she knew well. She hid the truth, and his demise was at the fact that even after all these years he did love her much more. Months go by and a letter arrives at her door. She opens it and cries as the reads the truth inside, he gave up his life and his heart to which was needed by her mother. He kept it a secret and now she did shudder. Her hands began to shake and she burst into tears which stream down and cluttered to the floor. He saved a life cause love meant more. She runs to a church and kneels down to cry. Saying she loved him and didn't know he would die. Till a voice rings deep inside her soul, he's always around to have you to hold. Love is eternal and yet can be physically killed. But an emotional connection shall forever live. If you have a woman and she acts like she doesn't care show her how much you love her and want her there. Least you wake up in grief and despair, it shall scare you at the thought of losing the one you love. Living in pain isn't what is planned by the creator from above.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Who's to blame?

She brings her heart to every relationship and commits her soul to his name. Her body dwells in compassion and when he breaks her she feels the pain. She doesn't see the sunlight and can't read the signs. She knows not her worth being so divine, tis a crime to watch a beautiful woman cry. You can catch her tears and know it wouldnt be the first time. He sat back and pondered on all the promises she broke. He didn't realise the pain his broken heart did soak. She thinks about him for a while and holds on to another leaving her body to defile. He cloaks his soul with a smile for all the world to see. His pride and insensitivity will be his doom for free. He is but lost and can't fathom the cause, her priorities changed and her love for him was lost. Years passed by and his silent prayers wouldn't fall on deaf ears to God. He placed his past in his hands let him lead the way. She decided to enjoy her life and forget his miserable name. Their paths did cross and his misery was well displayed in his eyes. He looked deep down her soul and saw her living her lies. She held her baby close and asked him he he was doing?. He said nothing and smiled as if it were a crime and stated he was fine. They spoke for a while and he missed those brown eyes which comforted his worrying soul. The breeze helped him smell her hair and yet he couldn't have her again, lovingly to hold. As they walked away he turned around to watch her stroll by. Tears streamed down his face as he knew this was goodbye. He locked himself in his room and drowned away in his sorrows. As she slept peacefully at night with her dreams displaying horrors. He found his comfort in a poison that ate away at his soul. He hung his head in his shame even though the fault wasn't his own. The power of love can be defeated if priorities of your soulmate does change. Them becoming strangers is the only one to blame.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Because I had you

She was a woman that kept my secrets and set me free. She broke my heart and lied to me. I suffered all that pain, but she was never to blame. She wasn't cheap, she was the one I shouldn't have let go. Her lips would ease my pain the flow of blood from my slit ribs left me numb and without pain. I attained and gained the experience she taught. I knew what it was like to hold on to what you got. She'd make her own decisions and clean up her own mess. She'd paint my pictures from her brain as if she was blessed. I'd run my fingers through the lines on her hands, she had 28 if I'd remember the exact count. Six beauty spots all over her body that's without a doubt. She'd wait for me to feed her and tuck her in to bed at night. She'd cling to me when the nightmares gave her a fright. I'd smash all that I could infront when we get into a fight. She'd just slap me to make things worse and not right. She loves my temper and hated me saying her name. I'm sorry I put you through all that pain and struggle. She was a woman that could make your joyous moments double. Her skin so tender and her hair so soft. She sounded cute when she laughed or even coughed. She'd sit and run her fingers through my hair, slap me when the smell of my cigarettes, made her care some more to make me quit. She'd slit her wrist to make me feel her pain. Chocolates were her favourite to her name. I'd wake up to her pout and deep in her sleep at night when nature would call, I'd find her by the door after I'm done and she'd say where did you go? Nowhere without you, I know. She'd crouch up like a child to its mother, and she'd hold me to fall asleep again in my arms. She'd feel relaxed and calm. Her eyes closed and yet she does but see. Now your with somebody who I cannot be. He brings you flowers talks about the birds and the bees. I watch your husband and you, the wedding ring and child, to see you're happy all this time I didn't have a clue. I met so many new, took them to all the places we had been to. They never did help me for the memories, I cherish loving them, and would make me perish and that's what is true. I find it difficult to move on because I had you.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her tears in vain

He keeps her picture on his night stand, as he wakes up to see her face. He remembers the mornings when she slept beside him and loved him in every way. She melted his heart as it was filled with hate. He knows not if he'll see her at heaven's gate or watch her burn in hell's flame. Her memories he keeps within his heart and his soul possesses her name. He loved her with his heart and soul and yet his body gave away. He caught her tears and chased her fears away faster than the raging wind. She was his hearts desire and he knew she was his sin. Like kin he held her close and protected her from the dark. She'd shout out his name when the power went out and like lighting he came to her aid. She was a woman who knew love in every possible way. He was a lone survivor of his heart and loves her till this day. She has but a necklace which he gave her many moons before. The pendant still has its charm, as she takes it out and watches it glow unharmed. She looks up at the ceiling and thinks of his arms around her to hold her close. Tears stream down her face as her wedding ring pushes her imagination far more and more. She places the necklace back in her drawer, and shuts the memories out. He is lying in a pool of his blood with veins slit as he thinks about her smile and pout. He feels his breathe slipping away without a shadow of a doubt. The poison in his body doesn't help his cause. His now blue lips have one name and it's hers which he had lost. After so many years the memories haunted and ate his soul alive. She hadn't the slightest clue till the newspaper article read about that person's demise. She wept as her husband enquired as to what made her upset. She whispered the world is so bad that people take their lives for no fault of their own is what she said. She knew deep down inside how her flaws had grown. He died with her name of his lips, as her wedding ring, she did touch with her fingertips.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Broken promises and lies

Sometimes, I used to wake with the sun on my face. I watch her sleep as I run my fingers on her face. I kiss her forehead and watch her sleep. Deep within my soul she remains mine to keep. Her brown eyes peep through the covers and watches me smile. To not know that time would part our paths. She places her head on my chest to listen to the sound of my beating heart. Tis for her that I once did every morning awake. Tis by her side I rest my head to lay. As I hold her close and chase her demons away. I strayed away from her indeed. As I wished I placed a ring on her finger on my bended knees. Ohhhh please! Was her cry to stop being the feverish romantic. Now without her near my soul remains frantic. Granted by heaven she was like an angel on earth. Her fair blemishless skin as white as the moon. Her dimples so deep as the valley with the rivers that boon. Her smile so mild, it could steal your heart. Her lips so kissable that's what makes your mornings jump start. The smell of her hair and its bourbon brown could be so visible ev n in the dark. She was a candle and radiated thy life. Alas! She isn't my wife, I now wander the earth as a broken soul is intended to do. Picking up the pieces of my life without you. No longer does my hand suit the hand of another. I blunder and chew on the left overs of others. I shudder to think what I have lost, the price I paid was with a grave cost. They say the lost are in the world to find themselves and their soulmates alike. My pride was all I had and gave up our fight. I look upon the memories and console myself still. She was indeed my drug that I crave and always will, no matter how many others pass by in my stage of life as long as I breathe. She will be my last dance I always let her take the lead. Broken promises and falsified truth, I hear from the one's who say 'I love you', they know not what it means to love a soul of a man. Their selfishness shows their true colors as planned and makes them sane. They turn around and say, 'you've changed'. Tis but the best lie you could tell a soul. As the story goes, she moves away and you remain the same. And it's your fault all over again. This comes to an end as you wither and die. Till then she remains in my heart and we don't say goodbye.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Wish you were here

The strom outside tells me she cares, as the dark clouds show I'm no longer there. She is always on my mind, I seek her in every woman I find. Blind is my heart as it doesn't possess the qualities to admire the beauty of another. That's been my fear, we were just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl year after year. Queer is the feeling that creeps when she isn't around. Her voice can't calm me down. Tis but clear she is no longer around to ease my pain but remains in my past. Time flew by so quickly now I have nothing but this mask. Her name is on my lips. All is well when people gaze upon me. I thought I could tell heaven from hell so free. But now I have these memories which haunt and eat me alive. She is but someone else's wife. Like a knife through my veins the smell of her hair and the taste of her skin comes back to haunt me again. That is beautiful pain, and it makes you go insane. Vain and egoism ate me alive with my own soul left to claim. Her child has my name but is the seed of another. She will make a beautiful mother. She traded me as her hero, and blue skies from pain. Ashes for her dreams, and it seems to be the broken hearted who suffer. I am but mortal and cannot trade my soul to make certain of the right fate. I'm treading on the same old grounds so destiny written so late. At the gate St.Peter tells me my fate and weeps at thought of losing a soulmate. I still wake up in fear and feel my tear. I hear the radio play wish you were here by Floyd. Knowing my fading soul is null and avoid filled with a drop tear. I here my lips say wish you were here.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The Foresaken

The soul of a man is well defined by the actions of his love. His heart he wore on his sleeve and covered with pain worse than what protects us from above. She walks like a ghost in his mind. And remains in his past. He wears a mask, to hide it from the world as his task. His love was within his grasp. Yet, he couldn't help to keep away his past. Care has slipped through his veins as he slit them to see if he forgot her name. Yet in pain he cried her name on his lips. He lost the feeling of his fingertips and yet the touch of his fingers through her hair was flowing through his nerves. He verved in agony and his shelter was the thought of his death. Yet he let her back in his soul, tis that which was ready his body was willing yet his mind did not want to have her to hold. She broke his soul and crushed his heart again which was cruel and cold. Yet he felt no pain cause you cannot break what is already shattered. He remained torn and tattered, she didn't look to have him repaired. She no longer loved him and he no longer cared. As she walked away again and he lived his life. He walked the earth alone and she became someone else's wife. Like a knife through his throat, his life didn't make him gloat. He waits for the day he will find happiness again he has no intention of starting from scratch. His soul rests yet his love continuously does march. The soul is a delight which one cannot par take. The soul remain reminiscent and your smile remains fake. He ignores her as her happiness he can't forsake.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

His tombstone memories

Sometimes I gaze upon her beauty and wonder. If she knows her worth, she chooses someone like you. Has she made a blunder or is her choice right? Do you give up when she turns annoying or do you stay and fight. He sits upon a tombstone and wonders of her brown eyes, her effervescent nature and charming smile. She runs in his thoughts and his prayers has whispers of her name. He wishes her well, and yet on the memories of his past he does dwell. The tales he tells of her beauty and grace. May not be believed yet he pictures her beautiful face. And remarkable as it may seem she is still the most beautiful woman he has ever seen. Keen are his intentions to gaze upon her one last time. Stroke her brown hair and kiss her forehead which made him feel ecstatic and sublime. Peace can be attained on a soul so clear, yet his love can't quiver and that makes things queer. She is a key and a queen to his throne. Yet by another her heart is owned, grown and they blossomed like the seeds which brings forth a tree. Gone like the strom, away did she flee. His temper and hers, made them a combination of disgust. She based their relationship of lust and he based it on trust. He took from her what she did not want to give, a heart that beats and makes him live. His pride brought forth his downfall and brought him to his knees. Trust was never an option to be used as a key. His ego filled his heart and her vindictiveness pierced her soul. Revenge was sweet as their hearts both grew cold. He got what he wanted and she deserved every bit. Look where she stands now and watch how his pain makes him sit. Slit are his veins and crippled is her heart. Reminiscent is his soul still stuck in his past. She did move on fast and was easy as can be. Her name on his lips every night is with what he does sleep. She isn't there to hold him and he misses kissing her goodnight. He lost the fragrance of her skin as for years she isn't within his sight. The feeling of her head on his chest and he watches her pout while she sleeps through the night. The feeling of being her comfort isn't there for him to keep. Tis but the truth of how pride and anger fell in love. What you thought would last isn't planned by the one sitting above.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The girl from yesterday

The broken hearted feel no pain. They feel the humbleness of memories driving them insane. You cannot break what is already shattered. Your heart left in pieces and your soul shredded and tattered. Scattered is your love like grains of sand in the desert. As the dust blows over your face and you know how much it did hurt. No longer can you love and hold her when she's cold. Kiss her forehead and pray, that with her you'd grow old. As broken as you are you wish to glance at the smile upon her face. As hard as it maybe your last wish is to feel that warm embrace. Your fingertips know the traces of her skin and each inch of her face. You stand in front of God and say I didn't deserve this bitter taste. He looks down from the heavens and tries to comfort your broken soul. He can't stop the hatred and anger that begins to  make you grow cold. You pry your lifeless body, everymorning, hoping there is something that can help you with a reason to live. How can you feel that when your lifeline in your heart isn't there with anymore love to give. Your care and gentleness is perceived as love to others. However you don't want another. Beautiful and remarkable is her presence. She is perfect yet perfectly wrong for you as seen upon the stars. She can't heal your wounds and cover your scars. You sit in solice and ponder upon everything that was good. Why didn't it last like you dreamn't it would. She packed her suitcase with hopes and dreams, you watched her walk away and into your pillow you screamed. With tears in his eyes her let her slip away. He now feels like he can't bear the pain. She has a future and has left him in her past. She wears a smile and he a mask. He crawls back into his shell, and secluded from the world. He watches time fly by as he turns grey. Knowing she became the girl from yesterday.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Perfectly wrong

Her presence made me feel like the sun never gave up on moving away my dark clouds. She kept away the pain and the hurt by not letting them mount. Her kisses were what kept me going. Her tears kept growing. All the fights were never worth the pain. She always said my name, while she sat down to pray. A lifetime of wrong choices I made in everyway. All my breathtaking was admired by her beauty. It was my duty to love her the most. Now like a ghost she wanders in my thoughts. I listen to the heart break and remember her heart beat which put me at ease. She was always so defiant and hard to please. Her arms around me gave me peace. The touch of her skin on mine was a tease. Love is brutal and never kind. Love is definitely stupid and blind. Or is it just me with all my ego and pride. I keep my heart locked inside. I'm apologetic for all the pain I caused. All the tears I made her cry, she and I were inseparable like Bonnie and Clyde. I hide in my solice and break inside. I'm happy is a lie I decieve the world with and try to hide. After all these years I realised what wasn't right, we tried to stay together and carry on the good fight. She has forgotten about my presence and her happiness exists in these songs for all to see. While I now realise you were perfectly wrong for me.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A walk to remember

Everyday she awakens with his name on her lips. It's been years and the years have stopped but his skin remains on her fingertips. His image is embedded in her mind forever to hold. She kept him in her heart, and loves him with her soul. His life is torn to pieces. She still replays the moment she says bless you, when he sneezes. Her tears have run dry as she watched him walk away. His life taught him never to cry even till this very day. Her body aches for his touch and his skin longs for hers. Fear is what grows in their hearts. As they can't hit restart, he was a loyal fool, and she a hopeless romantic looking under creeks and corners for love. Little did she know that he always was the she loved. And lives with regret and that grueling mistake. Her feelings were never fake as he imagined. Yet her unfaithfulness he couldn't forgive. Now he lays his head to rest and with betrayal and loneliness he does live. Like a gift from the heavens her beauty remains fresh in his mind. Her beautiful smile, so charming and very captivating all the time. Her lips were pressed against his and sent him in a flurry of emotions going wild. Her held her tight as she fell asleep in his arms every night like a child. Her brown eyes sparkled under the moonlight as he held her to watch the stars. She held on tight to him and helped heal his scars. She bore his child in agonizing pain yet her love went towards her daughter now in her arms. She was as beautiful as her mother, yet a seed of another. He kept that secret and tried to hold on to a relationship that already slipped away. She made her choice which wasn't him and chose a man that would stay. So piece by piece he restored his faith which lasts to this day. A man can be great and a father can be made. Yet her choice which she made was now her mistake. He wasn't perfect but he was a father to that child which would have stayed.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Thr world's greatest treasure

People have wealth which they so easily defile. A woman's heart is no less and needs to be cherished till the end of time. Tis but a crime we don't comprehend, and then hands of time can't be turned back again. She cherishes moments which you as man easily forget. She remembers your habits and renounces a bet to prove her wrong. Even though she's right, she doesn't harp on that song. You take so much time and effort to steal her heart, admire her beauty and capture her soul. Then you forget she exists when you achieve your goal. You sweep her off her feet and hold her hands forever. You let go when a woman passes by and she knows cause she's clever. Never will she lose her argument cause most of the times she is right. But she swallows her pride to lose some fights. Her ego isn't boosted as yours is at times. Raising your hand is not allowed and we do it thinking it's fine. She gives her all and expects love in return. She cooks your food and spends on you whatever she earns. Tis love she bears in her heart and pride is born in yours. She is the reason for your happiness and not pain being caused. Lost is your soul and yet she loves you throughly through the pain. Broken is her heart and yet selfishly we never mend it again. Her tears fall down and you are the cause. Tis but your duty to catch them and avoid pointing out her flaws. Peace is a stone embedded in her crown, love is her weapon to heal her frown. Her beautiful smile, and gorgeous hair, her wonderful brown eyes into which you stare. Her glow, glaring imminent under the night sky. She wishes to hang on forever and you find ways to say goodbye. She remains loyal and honest with respect by her side. As your true feelings are hidden inside. Pleasure is given without you to ask, her body is not a toy for your scars as a mask. If you love a woman and she loves you back. You're the luckiest man alive and that's a fact. She isn't a artifact one can measure, her heart is precious and tis the world's greatest treasure.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Sometimes forever doesn't last

She wakes up every morning as she feels safe with him by her side. She smiles and can't believe he's in her life. As children they played, and as lovers they lay. With her heart in his chest and beats for her all day. She makes him hold her tight, by just smiling from within. She isn't fond of bearing his kin. She is his sin, and he holds her name to his lips. He touches her face and her skin dwells on his fingertips. He firmly grips her hand as they walk down the street. For everyone to know he loves her as unmeasurable as how the ocean runs deep. He creeps up besides her and admires her beauty, even the pout. She never felt so much love without a shadows of a doubt. He feeds her else she refuses to eat. He straves himself yet, fills his hunger with love when their eyes meet. The taste of her lips is all that he needs, the smell of her skin brings him to his knees. None can fathom such beauty so divine. Her beauty brown hair with a pair of eyes to match something so sublime. Tis but a crime how much he cared. Tis but injustice how their hearts now lay in despair. People often ask what has become of him. She has forgotten and he forgave her for her sins. She replies with anguish and hate, he was never my destiny or fate. Now she bears a child of another. Yet he knows she's a beautiful mother. She tries to be a loyal wife. Yet the habits of old die hard, no matter how hard you fight. He sits and gazed upon the starry sky, he knows she's more beautiful than that, and he said it a million times and didn't lie. She creeps into his thoughts and dwells in his heart. She is but smart and stays happy all her life. She cannot be his as she is someone else's wife. With an open mind and his drunken state makes him know it. He is never the sober poet. Life is at times cruel, and it's hard to draw upon the contents of the past. Sometimes forever doesn't last.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A mother's love

A woman who cares, yet is scared at every instance to lose the one she loves. She places you higher than usual all above, peace is embedded in her mind with you by her side. She makes sure that she says your mine. Love is found in all her heart, seek and you will never find a mother so sublime as a perfect work of god's art. She wakes you up, so you don't get late. And your breakfast is ready on a plate. She reminds you to brush your teeth, that is well before you eat. She holds you tight no matter what your age. You're still her child in her page. Sometimes women treat you like their daughter or son. You know she loves you for all your worth. Even though to you she didn't give birth, she made you grow up even when your parents had their marriage in despair. She too is a mother to me who always did care. She stares at you not in anger, yet makes you understand when she explains. Moments you cherish is when she taught you how to play chess, she beat you everytime cause she was the best. She took care of you when you weren't strong. Made you understand right from wrong, she maybe my aunt and she treats me like her son. She is still my mother to me, if not to none. God needed an angel and took away a woman who was the one who gave me life. Yet placed another to make things right, in every possible way. It's with pain and happiness is to say to all the Mama's happy mother's day. Thank you for your kindness and all being part of my life. Thank you for making me feel special even when things weren't right. A debt I owe to both my mothers, which in fright I know I can't repay. I thank God for blessing me abundantly in every way.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The wandering soul

As I wander the earth like a soul released from its body. I see the faces of pain and anguish on everybody. People have their stories to tell, how badly live treated them. And how and what it's like to go through hell. We have but mere stories and experiences of our past. That's what makes life endless and vast. Some use a mask to cover their scars, other seek sympathy near and far. I seek and dream of what i cannot attain. Love so special that it drives me insane. I can't fathom the feeling as I did when I was a young lad, I saw her grow up with beauty and an angelic face that puppy love, it drove me mad. I would feel the goosebumps which I could not hide. Alas!! Those feelings have indeed died. I would hold her face in the palm of my hand as I kiss her forehead and bid her goodbye. I'd hold every tear which I made her cry. She'd hold on tight to me as we'd lay down to sleep. I'd sing her a song and have her head on my chest to keep. Madness was an understatement as we'd act like idiots for all to see. Now I have an empty house without thee. Lonely nights grow cold and weary. Thinking about her always made me teary. Scary was the thought of letting her go. I never knew reality to be to cruel without any remorse for me to be shown. The promises I made I kept all but one, the I'll be there forever is a sentence under the sun. Distant is her presence and closest is her memories. Now I'm a threat and she see me as an enemy. Kindness befalls as most people are deprived of it. So for all the people who have love and a relationship to cherish, treasure it least you perish.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A poem for the broken soul

He sits around and watches the world pass by. He contemplated every moment of his life. He swallows his pride now, and he didn't back then. He thinks of her memories and eats him up from within. Love is beautiful and yet cruel as he sees.  She loves another and is happy as can be, a child in her arms of someone new. Something they talked about and reality they never knew. Watching the stars in his arms from a window by the bed at night, was her favourite pastimes as just flew. She'd watch him sleep yet he'd admire her beauty so elegant and deep. He knew when to close his eyes as quickly as she could peek. He'd wake up every morning to admire her beauty and angelic face. He'd push aisde her brown and kiss her forehead with a warm embrace. She always chose to be loved and yet wanted to be free. He was immature as could be, alcohol was his friend, and she his weakness. She searched to replace him for all his meekness. She found what she did seek, the price was heavier than they could bear. Out of the window he does but stare. Not at the stars, he ponders would she be doing the same. Awake are his emotions of love, till he remembers she doesn't bear his last name. He kills those emotions and moves ahead. He lays down to feel the coldness of his empty bed. He has a shatter heart with her memories in his head. Red is the colour of his blood which pours through his veins on slit wrists. He never thought love would have as such a twist. Missed is her presence and happiness for her is his best wish. The years they were together were eight yet the memories countless and foretold. Tis but a poem for the broken soul.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her broken heart cant be mended

A woman opens her soul to the man she loves. She treats him like a God from the heavens above. She looks forward to his arms to hold her close. For the rest of her life tis him she chose. Her body grows tired and weary with age. Yet her love blossoms like a flower at that stage. Caged is her wants and she makes sacrifices as her life she has laid. Relationships aren't made in heaven, yet love is found on earth. She may be hurt yet, smiles so fervently. Her desire is to be loved for all eternity. Pieces of her past remain shattered on the floor. She lost count of how many times he walked out the door. She cried her eyes out, wishing he was there to give her a hug. She clings on to what's left of herself, with remorse and not love. Her tears roll down like rain on a summer night. She plays back the hurtful things he said during that fight. Her gentle face isn't resting on the palm of his hands. That's what happens when you love an egositic man. With nothing to hold on to and no one to have her problems to share. She picks herself up and acts like she doesn't care. Hardened is her heart that no man can melt. The problem is solved and the situation well  dealt. This is the perception of a broken heart. Her pain and sorrows she does cart. The start is alone yet she dreamnt they would never part. Thus is the story of a woman's broken heart. Love dwells inside her like anger bottled for many a years. She resents the thought as the tears she felt were clear. Breaking a woman's heart is the costliest thing in this world. She will remain the broken hearted girl. With memories to remind her how it all went wrong. Tis a broken heart that can't be repaired unlike in the movies or love songs.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Young love

She walked the earth in magnificence and embraced her future without pain. She grew up tender, loving and mild. I watched her transition to a beautiful woman from a child. She longed for love and butterflies that flew around in her tummy. Everything to her was always funny. He made her laugh and she would watch his eyes glitter at the her presence. Her soul entwined with his that was a modest essence. They grew up as kids to young adults who fell in love effervescent. Hers grew strong like the roots of a tree. His was a phase like season's withering leaves. She longed for his touch and craved to be in his arms. His love was alcohol, and that's what made him calm. She held back nothing to make him feel happy and special was her biggest charm. He would hold her face in his palm. Being in love with her can do no harm. She wanted to travel the world and see all that there is. He wanted to watch his life pass by as fast as soda does fizz. He made her complete and she then figured she was too young. She could get any man she wanted and then desired her fun. Her embedded her to his soul, while he watched her prance away. He felt love for the first time and remembers that day. They walked away on different paths, and he remained with her in his heart. She was his companion and best friend and he now didn't know where to start. He ran through relationships trying to find a replica of her. Every time he found love he'd move away with fear. Numerous times till this day he has her name on his lips. He may kiss a million more as he seeks the familiar lips. She flew away like a migrating dove or swallow. Sometimes young love can leave you hollow.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her soul to hold

He walks the earth searching for love. He found that once a upon a time. Yet, never treated it like it was from above. So divine  and now she remains far. All he has is a broken heart and never ending scars. By far, the failed relationships and the long lonely fights tar his memory and taunt his soul. She isn't around for him to hold, lay back in her arms on the one he loves. All that remains is the dust and disaster. He made his mistakes. He walks to a lake to ease his soul. His demons along with him grow cold. He hardens his heart so he can never have other fresh start. He carts her name on his lips every morning and while he lays his head to rest. She is at best gone for good of all the women he held on to her dear. As the sun sets upon the lake he feels the tears roll down his face. Was it right to let her walk away, was he right when he said he no longer felt the same. Regret fills him and he has himself to blame. The taste of her lips remains on his tongue. No matter how strong the glass of whiskey and rum. She owns his heart and soul and makes him think how special it would have been with her the way they grew old. Sometimes you have to hang on the one you love, coz you need her all your life to hold.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Least of all love

The question that always arose in my mind. I searched the world and asked so many times. What does it take to love a woman so divine. Her wonderful heart that beats so fast and stays warm no matter how cold the blizzard and weather. Tis but the person she holds dear that resides there. Her beautiful hair that sways through the wind her soul so caring that she is your favorite sin. Her touch so gentle that she can calm a weeping child. Her smile so soothing and yet so mild. Her angry face makes you smile, her brown eyes glitter like the stars. Tears roll down your face as you witness the scars. She hides them so well that even from a distance or one being near, you can't figure out her scars or fears. Clear as the day she chooses the one she loves. She renders herself in commitment towards him like he's sent from above. Sacrifices she makes of her own family and her fun. Only to live and love her special one. So as a man how do you love a woman of such beauty and a heart so divine. Winning her heart is simple, staying in love is harder with the falling sands of time. We forget the times we wished to wake up to her beautiful face. Now it remains a reminiscent talk as your thoughts swindle to something else. Thank your lucky stars that she's still in your life with all the right cards dealt. She used to melt as you swept her off her feet. Now your eyes and hers just don't meet. Remember the time when she was the one that made your heart skip a beat. Relive those moments else she is the one you would lose. Love still remains an option for you to choose.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her beginning

She walks down the street and everyone stops and stares. As the wind brushes aside her hair to expose her beautiful face. So gentle and so mild, with a smile as all she can do is shy away. She waits for rain and she sits by her window watching the drops of water fall down. She admires the lighting and the thunder makes her despise that sound. She loves the sunshine and yet curses the tan. A woman who hasn't yet had her life planned. She gazes upon the moonlight and counts every star. Her beauty is even admired by the God's so far. Her brown eyes glitter with joy as she gets her heart to beat faster than a drum. When she hears her favorite song is played and being sung. Love, is what she understands and yet seeks for someone to share the same view. She fails to realize there are but only a few. Her face lights up when she gets what she wants. She hates the mornings as she wakes up lonely and that is a feeling that haunts. Her kindness is imminent and her touch is mild. Her gratitude is immensely wild, her trust is broken and her lips are sealed. Her pain is visible but the reason she will never reveal. Her soul is taking her higher than before her desire to love grows. Yet she finds none and looks for another. All that remains is broken dreams and a heart shattered. She chooses the wrong ones who manipulate her like a child. She is left broken to die. Picking up the pieces and placing them together again. Only to watch them broken the same. Tis the truth about her broken heart. With not knowing where it concludes, just aware of where it starts.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her heart upon her sleeve

She wears her heart upon her sleeve. Her eyes closed makes her look beautiful as she sleeps. Her soul rests peacefully as her heart has someone to seek. She peeks through the creveses of her life. She dreams about her perfect wedding night. Her laughter echoes through your ears and her smile stays embedded in your mind. The smell of her perfume makes you feel alright. Her head on your chest and the fragrance of her hair makes you fly high as a kite. She is the only reason that makes you fight. Love is her desire and passion alight. She looks to feel special everyday and night. Peace is a volume that keeps her calm. She looks for comforting arms. Her gratitude is lesser than the things she expects. She wishes she could him say "till death". She let's herself take every instance of blame. She just wants for someone to heal her pain. She looks out for someone to love her through all times she is Moody and turns insane. Understand her and you will find the door to her heart. Yet she will remain happy and pleased, she is a woman and wears her heart upon her sleeve.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Adolescent transition

Guilt is a feeling that breaks your soul. Years pass by and it never grows old. Manipulation and deceit are fuelling agents making the taste bittersweet. Time is a curse that brings you memories of worse, as you cling for life in coffin carried by a hearse. Remorse is gentle and tender is a result of your pain. The thoughts make you feel deranged. Lingering are feelings and haunting are images so true. Like your age the same demons grew. Greatness is meager and sorrowfulness makes me eager. Tears roll down as trust is what breaks. I can't be human as I choose not to be fake. I rake all my wrongdoings and bury my shame. As I try my best to clear my name. Justice and equality is never real in this world. Kindness and compassion is a world which twirls and curls. To some this maybe ranting and to some it shall make sense. I am but apologetic and remain  adolescent.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Stop the crime and start the chivalry

The heart is often confused with what should be right and what is indeed wrong . Your conscience rings in your head like your favorite song. The breathe of life is gift that we so often defile. Your body is a monument that doesn't stay new after all this time. I perceive a woman and contemplate on her thoughts. Other men look at her and say "she's hot". An odd manner to describe her beauty with this generation and trend. I look around and no longer find anymore gentlemen. A woman believes chivalry is dead and extinct. Us men have left them about us so little to think. A woman is to be flattered and told how beautiful she might be. Not everyone has an eye for that kind of quality. You look at her body and judge her by her looks. I searched but never found that perception in any religious books. You hold a door open for her to walk in she smiles and displays her gratitude as such. It's your gesture that isn't much, man was created to stand by a woman's side. Be it your mother, sister, girlfriend or even your bride. I watch the media talk about the savagery of man. Molestation and forceful behavior was never part of any plan. A woman is gentle and needs to be cared. Alas!! You now go close to one and she petrified and scared. A few daring and a few timid and meek. A woman's scornful vengence you wouldn't want to seek. Men need to understand that a woman is precious and needs to be treated that way. Without a woman everyone would be gay. No pun intended to my friends on the other side of the fence. It's an illustration of recompense.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her complicated dilemma

She sits in silence and contemplates her life with care. As her beautiful brown eyes into thin air they do stare. Glaring is the truth which she will not accept. Her heart and soul remain reminiscent of memories she hides. By his habits and behavior she does abide. Her pain echoes through the walls as she buries her face in her pillow and cries. As their moments of delightfulness and love blossom in her mind. She seeks his presence since he walked away, but alas she cannot find him again. She rebels with hatred and pain. Her soul set on fire and she can't have her heart's desire. She douses herself in alcohol and narcotics. These are the consequences and she never thought of this. She hungers for his heart and longs for him near. Never did she imagine this much fear. Tears roll down her face as she stands on the ledge. Waiting for a memory to push her over the edge. She looks down and finds passerbys look like him and that's her mind's duty. She needs to look at things with collateral beauty. Her foot perched in mid air while at the ground she does stare. That indeed is a long drop, as the door to her flies open. And she finds him there, smiles and steps back over the ledge and falls to her death. The smile doesn't leave her face as yet. He leans from the balcony forward and watches her corpse. He didn't expect this would be her last. He wants to follow in her footsteps as death wouldn't do them part.  The wedding ring on his finger knows it's a fresh start. Sometimes we need to learn someone well before we give them our heart our life is precious, and we can always have a fresh start.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her beauty unexplained

When the Lord gave a woman the gift of life. He made her special, gentle with everything right. Her hair as beautiful as the summer breeze. Loving arms so her embrace remains a tight squeeze. Happiness is bestowed on her to please. Every moment she does cease and cherishes it fondly within her soul. Her elegance so radiant even when she turns old. Her eyes sparkle more brightly than the stars. Her voice so adoring it blocks out the sound of the passing cars. By far her beauty is unmatched and cannot be compared. Her heart breaking is something that will always leave her scared. Her finger tips so soft like snowflakes on your body. The taste of her lips intoxicates you like cashewnut toddy. Her soul to be respected and her heart to be adored. Your can't heal her scars but she does cure yours. You pause and stand still as you take a deep breath to admire her beautiful face. Her love drives you in a selfless craze. Gone are days when time stood still yet we rush. Now you sit by playing Candy crush. Your time is what she wants and the lack of your love is what makes her grieve. She remains excited when she sees you go down on one knee. The sea turns calm at the sight of her presence. Her laughter so generous and effervescent. The brightest cresent moon she shines through your darkness. On this journey we must embark, it's never easy like a walk in the park. She holds your hand even when it's dark.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her passion and desire

A woman's grace and beauty is unmatched when compared. Through her beautiful eyes and lovely hair. Love is the feeling that brews through her body. She talks so loudly not to be noticed by anybody. Her elegance is defined as wine, tasteful and exquisite. Passion reeks through her skin as thewords 'i love you' slips through her lips. Her desire to be held is what she finds difficult to grip. Her fingertips slip at the thought of losing the one she loves. And yet all she can see around her is love. Above are the heavens which bestow on her blessings of God. Her heart beats faster as her smile lauds the on viewing lads. Clad in the world of passion and fire. Looking into her eyes sparks the desire. You hold her close and sway to the music of love. As dancing with an angel from above.  Like a passing breeze she moves hee feet. She is supposed to be loved and not warm your sheets. Her name on your lips and her presence in your mind. The taste of her fingertips so divine. Creation of her life is a gift to mankind. Having her to hold is indeed a blessing so sublime. As you cling on to the woman who owns your heart you wouldn't know where to begin and where to start. She has seen pain and felt her heart break she thinks about her mistakes with sorrows to cart. She is but smart and intelligent too. She awaits to hear you say I love you.  And longs for her name to be utilized the moment you wake. Anger is put to rest for her name's sake. Fake are the men that tried so hard to win her heart. You try so hard to heal her scars. Yet love her from far as she feels you slipping away, yet she doesn't have a clue about that her love and passion draws her near to you everyday. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A woman's soul

Beauty is often defined by a woman's soul. Her heart is more precious than silver or gold. She is gentle like a summer breeze on a night so cold. Cherish her as you grow old. Her name on your lips is stronger than the alcohol that reeks from your breath. You love her in the absence till death. Her fingertips a remedy for all your pain. Her embrace keeps you sane, and yet her memories during her absence drives you insane. Portions of her love keeps you alive through the pain. Her kisses make you feel special and all to gain. Her life turns beautiful as years pass away. Her heart beats faster when she thinks about you each day. When you aren't around she remains in dismay. Her love is found to be new every morning with care and attention so adorning. Peace is her ammunition as gentleness
is fortifying and leaves your self belief yearning. She has a scent of her skin that makes you quiver as your hair starts to stand as her touch makes you shiver. Her body is to be admired and her body to be embraced. Consciousness and mentality
is a gift she doesn't flaunt. Yet displays it with grace. The only thing that makes her melt is hearing the one she loves says you look beautiful.  She is a woman who can't fathom a life without you near. Losing the one she loves is her biggest fear. Dear is her soul and with a radiant smile upon her face. Perfection is her beauty in everyway so all I have to say is happy women's day.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The broken soul

The shadows remain your friend. As you cling on to life before it ends.

You watch the children run past in joy.

Yet they have no clue what lies ahead.

You feel the cold breeze of the evening sky, your body is withering and your soul so dead.

The voices stay reminiscent in your head.

Looking for a future while you dwell in your past, the brokenness adds to the mask.

Her name on your lips beyond compare, as her picture in your hand makes you stare.

The glare of her eyes twinkling in the dark.

Embedded on your heart, as her presence in your life leaves that mark.

Like lark she flew away like she received freedom from her cage.
All you feel is rage and pain.

Years later you are not greater nor do you see yourself heal.

The devil comes by to make me a deal, yet I walk away from that offer.

Little did I know he too doesn't accept the broken soul.

Worthlessness and shame creeps up to deliver no comfort to life.

You hug yourself together every night. Peace is not a friend, love is a foe and passion a monger to let pain grow.

Life is a no longer a gift for me anymore.  Emotions have left and people can't judge you through your mask.

The man walks in his shadow, tis his only friend to hold.

These are the memoirs of a broken soul.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A woman's nature

The wind blows wildly and the trees embrace her presence. The stars twinkle with her beautiful essence. Her soul so free and fragrance so the world can see. If mother nature is to be admired with such decree.  A woman who steals your heart is to be praised indeed. Her hair so beautiful that it brushes your face, her eyes so deep it pierces your out right. Her touch so unique it makes you feel alive. Her heart beats faster as you hug her tight. She hold your hand as you stand infront for the world to fight. Her emotions is a light upon your path. Her lips speak and sends your soul into a sparks. No longer is it dark nor will she let the world know of how her life turns grey. As she has you to love everyday., she thinks of growing old with you and will love you even when your hair turns grey. As you lay down to have your body rest, you think about the times when you aren't breathing anymore to be there. That's the fear that eats you alive and gives you a scare. And she spends her time with you showing your love and care. The similarities between nature and a woman who loves someone is simple. They're always going to be there.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Broken wings

On a dark gloomy day, she walked by my way. Everything is right as the sun shone bright upon my face. Her radiance is hope  through the dark stormy night. She completes my soul,as look forward to grow old. She worries about tomorrow as her past gleams through the clouds which she tries so hard to cover. She is caring and always calm and I did love her. Her memories taunt her mood as it changes like the weather. She says nothing even if I ask her it's gonna be never. She promises forever,  yet, she knows not what the future holds. As her beauty is of tales and folklore foretold. Like gold to silver we mix with a combination so unconventional and raw. Yet she hold my soul and at her beauty I stare and remain at awe. Peace was never a friend as my demons make my soul bend in a way that can't be described. I stare into her eyes for comfort. And find her distress I comfort her and yet in peace she can't close her eyes to rest.  She is at best perfect for any man to have, privileged you'd feel. As a man with pride, yet her fears and hatred she does hide. Her name on your lips as if tis an everlasting kiss. She remains close yet, I feel she is missed. She distances herself yet shows as is well. I held her close with stories to tell. If I'm but the devil she'd be my hell.  Kindness is her ammunition and gentleness her calm. I cannot never do her harm.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks