My last breath

Happiness is a good thought yet achieved by a few. I learned so hard how to make that smile beautiful stick on her face like it was forever new. Like dew to grass everymorning.  My lips would find her forehead so adorning. That's when her open as the sun keeps dawning. Into my was her safest place, keeping close was my role and place. As she graced me with love each new day, I shuddered to think of the times I was away. An array of sorrow filled my heart and turned my life grey. She walked away and never came back. I wait and lose time's track. Years passed by and I think of you.  Love is an emotional state by which I've often been bruised. Confused I lay awake and painful is my state. Pretty isn't the word that can easily describe when she smiles. Beautiful is an understatement yet leaving me in denial. My soul on trial and her heart with care. I long for her beautiful brown eyes for me to once again look into and stare. I welcome death for its my cure, ever since she walked out the door.  if I breathe my last and if my soul shall fade. My love story finally ends with peace upon my grave.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The scars of love

I gaze upon the dark sky. As the stars glitter and yet I sigh. Her thoughts of laughter and her eyes of glee. Remind me that she was once mine. I held her tight till the sands of time upon the hour glass made its climb. Her name on my lips were my morning cry, as I admired her beauty when she slept through the night. Her shining brown locks covered her beautiful face, the frown between her eyebrows as my arms felt her body to embrace. The pout on her lip as the cold weather hit her skin. I'd tuck her covers and realize she was my childish sin. Young and stupid were we both that we did not relate to it being love. Looking back we regret how much we miss the presence of one another. Her standing and watching me cook her a meal. Or when we'd hold eachother and pray but just not kneel. She taught me how and what was love, I thought I already knew. I was ignorant and hadn't a clue. Due is her fingers in between mine. These are moments of a few so divine. I'd write her a letter everymorning before I go about my chores. She'd call me everymorning to hear my voice with an excuse of where did you leave the keys to the door. Peace has never been a friend to her mind when I'm not in sight or two steps behind. Her favorite song rings in my head like a bell. I'd sing her to sleep everynight and she knew that so well. I was the man she looked up all her life, she was the girl that loved me and made everything right. We'd fight for an hour and I apologize all night, my place was on the sofa during each fight. To my surprise I'd find her there too as the night gets colder she'd say 'I missed you'. See these are moments of love and now memories of pain. My demons haunting me of the mistakes leaving me insane. She was my favorite part of this story I tell. Now I burn with these scars I know so well. So cherish the present for you know not what the future holds. Treasure your woman for she is more precious than silver and gold. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Pieces of my broken heart loves thee

Her persona my prize, her beauty left my sins to hide. I cried the day I saw her wear his ring. No longer was she my favorite song to sing. With pride I had her hand to hold. Walking down the streets familiar and know. We had grown in a manner, that no one could explain. Her lips on mine silenced my name. This emotional state of mind left me maned, thoughts of her beauty left me delusional and nearer to my grave. Perfect never was enough to tell her what my eyes did behold. Now she's gone and the winds turn cold. The bold feeling of me turning old and having her no longer to hold. Her eyes my escape from all the pain, the memories haunt and drive me insane. The touch of her skin on mine gives into my sins for all to see. Peace is no longer a choice I have, love is not a gift to make me glad. I cannot fathom we no longer have a relationship of care. I look up to the sky and at the stars I stare. I wish this was dream I'd wake to see tis was a lie that the love of my love is not with me. Reality hits me and I clearly see my broken heart and every piece loves you and misses thee.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Love gets in the way

I come back to my shell, her memories give me hell. I rescue my thoughts as reality sinks deep within. She was my favorite part of my life and my ever indulging sin. I grin at the thoughts of letting her talk, listening to her voice as my world is rocked by her beauty so cold. The touch of her hand on my face gave me warmth of melting gold. I bite down my tongue to shudder her name upon my lips as I twitch on this road. I have her no longer as I wait and ponder, as in my arms I did her body mould. She was and is and will be embraced upon my soul, her lips on mine as I stop and stare as her eyes  sparkle as the stars in the sky. As she stays  startled with care. I'm no longer by her as my heart no lays bare. Kind were her words as she broke my heart and I walked away with a prayer. Love is a gift I'd happily return for the world's acceptance is unprepared. A million pieces like shattered glass lay waste of what I once called a heart scattered on my soul, I remain scared and pick them up as cruelty never showed she cared. I dared myself and my pride to walk this path alone. Tis the haunting memories that make me anxiously groan. Her breath on my neck is felt upon this day. I convince myself she isn't mine tis but hard when love gets in the way.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

I do my crying in the rain

Her heart as fragile as glass. As I unravel the mysteries behind the mask. The scars on mind as I give her new memories to claim. I touch her skin and feel her pain, I taste her lips, as into her beautiful brown eyes I stare. My fingertips on her face runs by with care, I catch her tears and hold her tight. I slay her demons as she rests in my arms for the night. Her hair falls gently across her face, the she has as at her beauty I gaze, I praise her ambitions and kill her fears. Her love grows weary as I draw her near. Her hand in mine and our souls once entwined, the lyrics of love so pure as wine. Time stood still as she whispered the words I longed to hear. It never grew old it always drew her near. Her breathe on my neck as she fell asleep in my arms. My always ran through her hair like a lucky charm. The calm and refreshing will to survive without her I would surely die. So did think once upon a time. How wrong I was all my life, she isn't my wife, she is no longer my pride. She is the reason I have scars which I can't hide. She guided me through the love and left me in despair.  She moved on so freely without anycare.  I stare at your pictures and wonder if maybe it was me. I wasn't good enough for thee, now with glee I stumble and fall I pick myself up and stand tall. No one by my side I guide myself up to my call. I learned to stand in solitude and avoid the painful crawl.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

My lips bear her name

The thoughts of her open my mind. I touch her face like a blind man's fingertips on braille. My soul is left jaded as I try to make certain her memories have faded. Yet, I am left in disarray. As I long to see her for just one-day. I cannot change what is willed to be, I cannot bring forth my heart's desires out of my inequalities. I am not perfect I have my sins and flaws. I can't really defy nature's law. My heart remains shattered and hers is healing from the bruise.  This isn't a pleasure cruise, and I know she will look back at the memories and stare. Knowing I'm not there will actually give her a scare. But she may look at all she desires and cares. She realizes I'm no longer there, her beautiful brown eyes and a simple smile can steal your soul. As you melt when you see her dimple unfold. Written beyond scars I try so hard to kill these feelings. I can't find the proper meaning that could help me survive.  This is the story of my life. The touch of her hands brings forth a plan that I never want to those moments to die. I wash away my tears in the rain as my broken heart can't be tamed. She looks at me no longer and I wake no more in pain.  I sit in silence with my lips bearing her name. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Till I never see you again

She walks down the street with someone new. Why she left I hadn't a clue. With no explanation and words of a few. Like the wind on storm cloud, life turns grey. To it doesn't really hurt to see you.  It felt kinda odd that the reason you left I till today never knew. A few years went by and I did change I made myself better and better over and over again. The picture frame shattered when you walked away. You ran into a stumbling block along each day. See your a kind of girl that seeks not love. Yet I'm the kind of man that needs to rectify his soul. As I grow cold and wonder what is wrong in me. I did not shed tears nor did I cry.  I did not leave my soul to die. I picked up the pieces and and stick them together again. Knowing how things came to an end. The moonlight now remains my friend as I fix and find what was wrong. I know it was me all along.  Maybe I didn't give you enough time, maybe I didn't hold you like I should have for that while. Maybe you needed me not be there. Maybe I didn't understand what you needed was not love and care. I know you remain happy.  And I remain withdrawn in solitude. I see you with someother dude, I know he isn't me nor will I every be. Sometimes I wish life gave me a remedy. I sit in silence secluded and alone. I compose this feeling to which I cannot name. Yet it hurt seeing you again, I see the glint of happiness that sparkled in your eyes. I wasn't the reason anymore much to my surprise.  So a prayer for you joy, as I make peace with my broken soul. I wish not for our story to any further unfold. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A beating heart

Her broken heart is in pieces. I can't stick them together again. I can't hold her tears nor protect her from the weather so glim. Her lips are dry as she sits in pain. Her mind keeps wandering as she drenched her body in the rain to hide her sadness. These feelings of being lost causes the madness. Gladness seems far as her body aches for a hug. Her soul seems barren as she longs for love. The smell of her hair is now left without care. Whispering I love you in here ears isn't a possibility of getting there. She knows she needs me and I do too. Difficult part is making her know that I have a clue. She breaks my heart and I'm glad she does coz I accept that emotion with utmost love. She gives me sorrow knowing I can withstand pain.  She knows I love her yet can't be with her ever again. Her skin longs for my fingers and touch. She looks back at the memories and like me misses me as much. She last held me 9 years ago as I said goodbye. We parted ways and unlike me she failed to cry. Today I stay strong coz she built up my soul, she gave me a gift called love that over which we both have no control. I crave not her body, but I feel her pain, I desire not her kiss, but wish to hear her voice again. I dream not of her beating heart, but I know her fantasy.  I have her not as my wife but she knows if not for her mistake we were meant to be. The only thought that passes through my mind is hers. Those are the memories that bring tears. Yet the fear she drives out of my life. She has my heart and always will even though I know she wears his ring. I dare not say I miss her nor do I tell myself I love and care. I look at my chest in the mirror listening to the sound of my beating heart. Knowing you were once there when we did start. Here is the funny part, it's still beating and I have not a clue why my heart beats profusely fast when I think back of my favorite memories with you.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Memories

Her beautiful smile gets me weary. The touch of skin gets me teary. I nearly died the day she said yes. Little did I know she and I would face a cruel test. The best of her beauty and the worst of my anger kept us apart. Our fights left us shattered with broken hearts. She could kiss me all day and tell me she cares. I'd walk away from her silence and give her a scare. The only thing that clamped to my soul. Was her in my life and marrying her was my goal. Her listening to the sound of my beating heart with her head on my chest. My nose buried in her hair was my treasure creast.  Her name on my lips as my presence on her mind. I'd run my fingers on her face as if a man who's blind.  Fragile and frail was her heart and body in my arms. Her soul I could read throughout the years of time so calm. The joy in her eyes sparkle like stars in the sky. Tis a moment to thank the Lord for not letting me die. I always thought she'd never be stolen, I cherish those moments so golden. Now I'm rendered speechless and have been in a position where I think and at my reflection stare. I wish we had always been there, with her heart to love and care for the future. Losing her is indeed a torture. I know she's glad I'm not in her life I see her happy as someone else's wife. I am not sad, but know that love doesn't exist. Something we misinterpreted from just a simple kiss. I kneel before God and pray for your happiness and peace. I just remember all the moments of these.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The purpose of a heart

A heart is special and it's ability to love is unique.  It craves replication from the one it once did seek. The heart cannot rest but it's put to the test. The scars remain to remind us of our mistakes. Holding someone special inside all throughout our lives. Your soul connected so all you do is care. Even a broken heart doesn't remain bare. Yet we walk this earth desolate and destroyed. Remembering the moments of Joy, you toy with the memories keeping all the good. Forgiving the other person forgetting the bad things like you should.  Peace fills your body as you now learn to progress. Kindness fills your heart and you remain blessed. Locked away are the memories of things you once did hate.  henceforth happiness is no longer your fate. Destiny and karma are enemies of the heart. Foes so bitter that ways they dare not pass. You long for time to stop it's hands wishing they'd be turned back in a few. Stopping your heart from breaking and making things new. The heart maybe scared but on power it stands still, beating effervescently with love in abundance to till. The broken heart is able to love the most. As we've already felt the pain, but long to hold that person again.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Everlasting Love

Her persona is a remarkable phrase. Her smile makes me feel like glorious are my days. She used to secretly stare thinking I wouldn't notice. I'd smile to myself post this. Her hair falls across her face, she walks by me with an air of grace. Her beauty leaves me speechless sometimes and my mind out of place. My palm fits perfectly to hold her face. She closes her eyes with a smile, all I can do is kiss her forehead and hold her tight. Her bright radiance lights up her eyes and also my life. She was to wear my ring and be my wife. Perceptions change as the hands of time too. I think of the moments spent with her so true. Her name given to her as a child, remains on my lips all my life. Someone once told me to never care, never be hopeful, thinking she's always there.  Never wonder when she will come back. That's a heap of crap.  She won't come back and all you do is gloom. She swept you off your feet for years like dust to broom. You remain a memory and not her groom. I still ponder with anxiousness and care about things that render and linger in the past. If I see her again I wouldn't want her fingertips on my mask. For her tears I'm no longer permitted to catch, but my love for her is like a inhuman spirit on to a body which it's latched.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks