Thank you for giving me life

Another year passes by as I grow old with the hands of time. Tis but a crime to know you are gone. I wonder so often would you be proud? Or just ashamed of the man I've become, I know I was the perfect son. I look up to the heavens and watch closely for a sign, just to say you miss me sometime. 9 months of agony and 24 years of mischief and pain. I know my tantrums drove you insane. I am now human understanding what's right from wrong. For my mother I so solemnly long. I can't explain to the world how precious a gift a mother can be, I still contemplate why God took you away from me. See I hear people crib and cry of how annoying a mum can be. Little do they realize the pain that lingers to cope without thee. You held my hand during my first steps. You kissed my cuts and wounds as I wept. You tapped my back as I slept. In my heart your soul I kept, I crept up beside you to hold you when I was scared. Woken you up for unnecessary stuff, you demonstrated how I could become tough. The rough patches and fights were out of love. I cannot imagine how terrible these years have been. Tis and eternal sin to lose a mother, for she can't be replaced by another.  So this birthday I wanna take this time to thank my mother, for teaching me values and giving me the respect I needed, she has me as her biggest fan. I'm now truly a man, who looks up to the heavens with pride, my mother awaits for me I'm heaven and has not died. So one-day I will celebrate my birthday with mama by heavens tree and wonderful lake. I'm saving a piece of my birthday cake.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

All she wanted

The bright light at the end of the tunnel isn't what makes things real. As you sit back contemplating when you pray and kneel. The memories flash by like pictures in your brain. The smell of her on you still remains, after all these years her fragrance is closely rendered. You miss her touch so warm and tender.  Her slender lips spread wide with a smile. Her name on yours lasts a long time. Tis but a crime to think of another.  She remains in your head and heart. You cart your sorrows you fade the truth about how strong you can be. You are but an empty shell without her near me. Suddenly you see the world of yours is changed.  The silence is all that remains.  No more phone calls to hear her speak. No more will you hear her breathe while she sleeps. Just me under the stars and a clear summer breeze. The wind and the willows keep me company. Love is but a funny something which cannot be explained. The care the commitment and the pain. All your left with is memories of her name. All you see is what could be. All you wanted was never me.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

His precious gift

The distance between hearts, is always a start to make you feel wanted. Yet, leaves you in dismay. Taunted by by life in every way, your hair turns grey with wisdom for the wise. Her soul entwined with love that never dies. I look into a woman's eyes and read through her soul. Some of them have stories which can never be foretold. She holds him close to her heart, she molds her body with his soul, she gives him the divinity of her love which is more precious than gold. Bold is the move he make to keep her forever, she cannot say never. Jousting through life as a Knight to the throne, yet he loves her till the last drop of blood and final bone. Probably he'd lose her or probably he'd have a love to find. Probably she won't be his final story that dwells and haunts his mind. Alas! Love is gift that cannot easily be found. As she remains so good to like her no one can be found. His feet off the ground as he holds her close. He follows her around like the Holy Ghost.  The most prominent gift God gave a man. Is a heart to love without any explanation or plan. Like a leader to the clan he guides her well. This is a love story no one can tell. What good is a heart that is made of stone. What good is a soul that always grows cold. Tis this not worth the love? On contrary it may not be. But I shall remain hollow and empty with thee.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Her memories

The mistakes you make teach you lessons you can't imagine. The hard truth of life is that you remain in an illusion. As the profusion of obstacles give you a chance to remember the pain. The survival of things leaves you stronger, but the scars stay longer. I've made a few mistakes that's for sure. I cannot find a remedy or cure. I look back at the past and wonder why, I'm still the social outcast kinda guy, I die every moment as I dwell in sorrow. I live long enough to see my soul go hollow.  I'm sent to the gallows of shame. Ending my life was never an option that remained. I still stick around, wondering what goes right. As I sit up crying the whole night. All the alcohol, wouldn't make me forget how much I miss the woman who owns my heart. All the memories she created, cannot be erased. I shall take it to my grave, with the same time as years go by. As I live through this lie that I have moved on from her love.  She will remain a memory in my soul, I shall carry her along till I grow old.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

She walks away

Grace and elegance accompanies her presence. The essence of her beauty. Leaves you delirious and dutifully spellbound.  Her eyes as brown as polished wood. The smell of her hair leaves you in a trance for good. You dance with her as you sway to the music. The feeling of her skin touching your's is a feeling unexpected.  Your heart beats faster than usually detected. Selected are the words that flow from your mouth. Your love for her grows without a shadow of a doubt. Her walk with you back home goes hand in hand.  Under the moonlight you gaze into her eyes, you still keep admiring her beauty as you kiss her forehead goodnight. She is but your shining star on a pale lonely night. You don't let her head hit the pillow without your hand behind it. You think is this love, an infatuation or you're just blinded.  You watch her fall asleep so fast. She looks like an angel with comfort at last. The mask she wears no longer sticks when you're around.  Her fears are driven away and so is her past. She makes memories with you so they can last. She looks quietly in the mirror as you sit behind her combing her hair. She smiles quietly knowing you'll always be there. Her nightmares haunt her as you hug her tight she wakes up startled, sees you and knows it's alright.  You fight with her coz it's always fun. But when she gets mad all you can do is hide and run. Her smile is your favorite song that rings in your head. You'll remember it till the time your dead, then one day she walks away from the heart that was hers. She now longs for someone new,  she doesn't quite think about the good memories like you.  Sometimes she closes her eyes wishing she could see. The mistakes was hers.  Yet the guilt and scars dwell in me. He let her go thinking she'd come back. He didn't check and see that her bags were packed. His pride wouldn't let him look beyond the mistake she made.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

My treasure

The solitude I live in leaves me reminiscent of the past. Forgetting her memories are a bit of a task. The mask I wear no longer deceives, the pain and leaves my heart to bleed. I needed her beauty all my life to admire. Her hands in mine was my heart's desire. Like fire to my soul her eyes my mirror. Having her to hold was like to my empty space a filler. Love is an odd feeling I know now for me doesn't exist. I feel the anger at myself and clench my fist. Her kiss was my calm before the storm. For her love I now so solemnly long. Like a gong, her face and memories ring in my head.  Her name on my lips every night when I go to bed. I am but lead on this path, with an end that is dead. As I listen to the voices in my head. The smell of her skin used to intoxicate my soul. This is how my story did unfold. She was my treasure more precious than gold.  I shall cherish her till I grow old.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Why is everything so heavy

The sands of time hold no bounds. I am but lost seeking my soul to be found. The ground starts shrinking, like quick sand I kept sinking deeper into her love like a moviestar's fan. She seemed like a manifestation from above. Like a glove her hand fitted in mine. The smell of her hair so divine,  like lime to a stone I was seldom needed. Making certain she didn't leave I begged and pleaded. Yet like dough I was thrown around and kneaded. The angels wept as two souls departed, with nothing but the memories we carted. We darted through our insanity and waltzed through our calamities.  The familiarity of the situation impeded. Her chest held my heart and it was then needed.
I bleeded the moments I witnessed the agony and pain. Tis my egoism that was to blame as through the river I remained casted. I am but know as the inglorious basturd. I fasted and prayed for things to go right. I laid down my head and did all I could to avoid the fight. So as we set foot on this path and perilous journey. Tis her smile I am continously yearning. To cope with the hurt and heal my scars I'm but learning. I cannot feel nor do I know the pain anymore. Ever since you walked out the door.  Making things so scary, and fearful is what I levy. I still wonder why is everything so heavy

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks