In loving memory

Sometimes you wonder why things go wrong. Is it the moments that pass or the beginning of a new song in your life unmasked. I looked to the heavens when you left me here. I asked God questions of answers I did fear. Tears rolled down my face, as I walked into your burial place. Traces of memories of all the times passed. I smiled with the broken mask. You held my hand to teach me how to walk. Karma is a cycle that always comes around. Mama was the first words in my mouth that I found. The privileged people get to see theirs grow old. Mine I treasured like gold. I lay in bed wishing you could take away my fear. A mother remains in a child's heart always dear. I know you remain in heaven and I remain forgotten on earth. As I threw the mud on your grave knowing from ashes till dirt. My time draws near. I shall have no more tears I shall be reunited with you within a few years. I bow my head in silence and I hold my chest in pain. Several years have gone by but mama your memories remain. Painfully you name is taken upon my lips, I still feel lost without your guiding fingertips. You bought me every toy I ever laid my eyes on. I still remember your favorite dish was a curry of prawns.  I hunger for you cooking, and miss the festive shopping and looking for everything that needed to be right. I remember the times I wasted with all those drunk late nights. I could have spent them with you and instead I chose not to. I regret my stupid decisions. And now I stand in a position, where I need your helping hand. Anger no longer fills me as I know you going away was God's plan. You may be deceased a few years now. But I still weep within and ask how. People are lucky to have mothers so true. I was lucky to be born from you. No longer am I a child but I keep your memories stuck like glue. One-day In heaven I shall rejoice and be with you. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A costly price

A broken heart you can't easily mend. A soul so lost as you stand on a cliffs end. Your troubling sorrows, as you seek hallowed ground. You search for love that can't be found. Her warm smile on your mind to trace, after all these years you still feel her warm embrace. Piece by piece you pick up your life. She isn't your sought after wife. She belongs to another, as you shudder to think. She looks back at the memories just like you and in quicksand she sinks. You ask her what does she miss the most, she will tell you how you held her close. And kissed her forehead everynight.  You just miss her being your Ms. Right. She wakes up now days wishing you were him. She looks at her child hoping that was the blessing of your kin. She too regrets everyday, alas you can't change the mistakes so grave. You lay down to look up at the clear dark sky. You feel the cool nights breeze drift by, the night before you is a lie. For happiness you can never attain. When all you feel is despair and pain. A costly mistake by a foolish girl, an egoistic boy who wanted to rule the world. Ambitions of lovers on two separate paths. Problem is their love grew from the same beating heart. The angels of heaven weep and stare as they live different lives without a care. Sometimes the broken have more compassion in the cruel world out there. A kiss from an angel that guards his soul, as he closes his eyes to rest. With her on his mind he places his life in a grueling test. So pick up your pieces and walk away. For you shall have you treasure one-day. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

His pride, his downfall

He stared up at the stars and looked back at the scars.  As her memories flashed by. He smiled as she brought joyful tears to his eyes to cry. She was his beautiful sin, he was her marvelous lie from within.  His face would be her smile as she opened her eyes. His lips to her forehead with a morning embrace.  She'd always have his smell on her skin. As the taste of her lips lingers. The strands of her hair on his fingers. He'd wait to see her beautiful brown eyes they could douse his anger so wild. She'd wait for his warm embrace, putting her tantrums in a distant place. She'd fear him finding someone new with grace. He'd fear her saying goodbye without a trace. The passion and love would flow like rapids in a river. Every touch of his brought about goosebumps and shiver. For fear never gripped love so young, yet habitually a song he sung as she laid her head to rest. Without his singing her sleep would not find her at best. She gave him hope and love, he gave her all he had. So how could so grand turn out so bad? She found another with a song to sing, someone new to actually wear their ring. She kept him close and never said goodbye.  He looks in the mirror shattered to watch his soul die. No more tears does he cry no more, fears does he hide. Many have come to help pick up the pieces.  How can you stop water from seeping through the cracks of so many. How can you love someone who dwells in the past for all the years of his life. He cannot see anyone else become his Ms.Right. So a wandering soul is what remains, he feels no remorse, or pain. Love was their gift which they both returned. He kept his ego, and she a lesson to learn. He'd never forget her love that let him to melt for a while. She'd never forget all about her being his pride to call. He remained blind to see his pride being his downfall. 

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Love bites

The gift of love is given to all to receive. It could make you strong or bring you to your knees. Should you choose to venture and attain it with grace, careful it may leave without a trace. He woke up everymorning to see an empty space. She no longer was by his side too admire her beauty and grace. No more coffee in bed as he'd always give her a cup. No more of him telling her lift your cute butt. She walked right out as he suffocated her breathless with love. Being obsessive isn't the possessiveness she did want. She needed her freedom and only her memories remain to haunt. He watches the rain fall down to the earth he smells the water upon the mud and dirt. He was a flirt who turned loyal and committed and true. She always wanted more than a few. Her heart belonged to him all a long, but her mind made him feel it was wrong. Tis not her body he wants, tis her beauty and presence for which his soul taunts. He doesn't have her around to feed her every meal. He doesn't have her smile for his stressful day to heal. He doesn't have her hand in his for him to kneel. He placed a ring on the wrong finger, he feels ashamed and that she's gone the embarrassement lingers. He looks for her in everyone he finds. Tis truly love that makes a man blind. Unkind and cruel is the world we share. As he watched her walk away and not care. Today regret fills both their souls, she wishes he could be there to hold. And he wishes she was here as he hugs his painful self egoistic side. Ironic is love as you watch two souls die. You cry no more tears, as you still count the years if you were together. Love let's you feel the cold stormy weather. Sometimes the stories of our life can't grow old. Sometimes we treasure the ones we love as gold. Tis a mistake to let me hold on to my ego so old. As the pride I once loved was a girl who I let walk out in the cold.  Never to turn back she went ahead I stare at my ego feel my soul dead.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Scars

Sometimes the eyes speak volumes where your lips stay sealed. You look back at the scars that just won't heal. As real as a baby to their mother's breast. You face your trails and overcome your tests. The best often walks by as the day grow cold. Her name on your lips tends to get old. Bold are your actions which shows the world she's your prize that with a heavy cost. Now you wander helpless and lost,  tossed through the waves your soul doesn't surrender.  Your heart torn to pieces like it was greeted by the blades of a blender. The smell of her skin still sticks on your body. The taste of her lips like intoxicating toddy.  Often you wonder how long has it been. She was your desirable sin. Like kin she remained reminiscent and lasts. Like a moment of pleasure for very long she now remains your past. The task of letting go isn't very easy, holding makes you fall to your knees. You know she was your remedy to this disease.  Her voice my refuge her touch my heartbeat. Her absence is my sorrows as I shiver between the breeze. She wears a title which isn't of mine, she isn't around to have me catch her tears she cries. Love is a funny little notion, it's not the cliché old potion. Tis a story with tales of a past, tis the key to the scars behind the mask.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

The search

I often wonder what would it be like to meet the soulmate created for thee? Would she be caring and making you feel special like a infant to a parent's remedy.  You'd always seem to remember the good times and not the bad. From January to December she'd always make you glad. The tremble she'd get when you'd touch her skin, her heart beat pounding harder from within.  She'd be your sinful cure, she'd make your head spin in a galore. You wake up to her beautiful face, you'd hold her tight in a warm embrace. Her love as gentle as the bright blue sky, in her arms you'd wish to die. Her tears to hold, and her soul entwined to trace. Never have emotions left you this dismayed. Grey was once your world that wasn't appealing, now your scars she seemed to be healing. Kneeling before the Lord to thank him for your present. Good times don't last that's eminent.  Sometimes the walk turns lonely, sometimes it remains barren and leaves you in an array.  How you wish your last breath was near, to avoid seeing that day. She walks away and pays no heed to your cry, shattered and broken.  Your mask hides the tears you cry. You realize your human and feel what mortals call pain. She will never turn in your direction again. You lean on the memories and she craves on the present that lasts.  You both live no future in which two hearts once did want to bask. His bottle a remedy to replace her memories.  Her new lover to cure her pain. Tis a love story which will never be written again. So soulmates exist sometimes we let them go. We sit down and wait for them to come back walking through the door.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Haunting memories

Her simple life makes me jump with glee. Her smile embedded in my mind for all eternity. Tis her love that left me in dire, her embrace set my soul on fire. Those dimples on one side of her face as she smiled while saw that same trace. With grace she mellowed my flaring temper.  Her love makes me exempt her from my wrath. Little did I know that years from now we wouldn't be walking on the same path. Like child she was all I had. I know i wasn't caring enough and that made you made. As you'd wait for a phone call or a text which never came. I was definitely to blame. Her name is always on my mind, her memories I can't leave behind.  I was indeed blind to not see the truth.  Her pout was ever so cute. All the other women who walked in to my life, tried all they want but could never be my miss right. Tis always a place I keep reserved in my heart. That's always you right from the start. Years have gone by and at the memories I stare. I wish you were there, you taught me not to be heartless and broken to tears which I used to cry. Surely since you've gone my soul has died. Losing her was a gift she'd lift. In her life now I'd never fit, her perfect beauty. Left me in awe now she has someone who's making sure. He loves you more than I'd ever could. Of which I know you stay happy. I'm half the man he'd ever want to be and I feel crappie. So happiness is now what you have as its something you always wanted. I know that you'd make his perfect wife. But by your memories I am haunted.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks