His fairy-tale

He sits at night and gazes at the sky. He counts the stars every night near and far. He wishes for her happiness upon all the falling stars that he sees. He remembers her so well and prays for her on bended knees. He thought he had the key to life, with happiness and success to follow. He only has the mistakes he made with lessons that leave him hollow. Like a swallow he moves from place to place, searching for a similar face, the feeling of staring into the same kind of brown eyes just like hers. He kisses a thousand women yet can't draw that emotion near. He wakes every morning and watches the people pass by from end to start. He admires every woman's beauty and knows none can steal his heart.  He chalks down his thoughts on paper which rips with ease. Yet his soul stays unstable as he can't find peace to appease. He still places a plate at his table when he dines for supper. He still sips his coffee till the end as she always did for him. He knew she was his sin that lingers under his skin. Her heart right now he can never win, he watches from afar as he nurtures her child, husband and kin. Love is a cruel intention which breaks a man's pride in two. He always said it would be me and you. He walks by the park, and looks up at the sunshine, wondering if he was running in her mind. His lips bear her name with every passing day, he wakes up to reality of what he thought was a nightmare. He stands in solitude and silence fills his void. He thinks about how he let his life get played with and toyed. He always spent his festivals drowning in his sorrow. He knows his life isn't at an end. He knows tis but the beginning of his life on a bend. He closes his eyes and imagines her  fingertips upon his face. Love is a gift for you must freely embrace. It may leave you broken but you can pick yourself up. Never experiencing it is a slup, so give your heart to someone and forgive them if it breaks. You'd not only get the broken pieces but beautiful memories which you and her did make. Love is never a fairy tale it's a story which is real for your sake. It's not what God writes, it is what you make.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Love fool

As a child we watch the world, and time pass by. You watch the leaves and seasons change, you know well the cuts and bruises of you playing. You feel like a a lion roaming free. You then mix yourself in another's company. You learn things good and hold on to the bad. Watching you grow up makes your parents sad and sometimes, also glad. You fall in love for the first time and know what heart break is all about. For some it ends after years, as sometimes about her, you can never have a doubt. She walks by with her hair as beautiful and brown as an autumn leaf. Her skin so soft that you wouldn't believe. Her touch so gentle especially when she held your hand. She always made this boy feel like a man, his perfume entwined in her nostrils and her essence on his lips. As her face was always sheltered by his fingertips. Her face so tiny that it would fit in the palm of his hand. She'd close her eyes and all you could see was her pout and smile. Indeed she was a child and as was he. Knowing now it was never meant to be, her love made a boy grow into a real man. He loved her dearly and till today he knows that he still is. She stole his heart as a teenager and spent 8 years with memories of glee. She gave herself to his will mind, soul, and body. Things may be different and times may have changed growing up in love with her was all he ever wished for till this very day. Even though all they gave eachother for valentine's day, was a measly hug and kiss. Tis her presence everyday he does miss. Squabbles and arguments was a routine and they had their fair share. It always ended with a hug to say he or she always cared. One-day the fight got so intense she walked out and never turned back again. The alcohol, drugs, and friends is what she chose while he awaits her return, although he knows it's a lie. As she wishes for him to stay away after all these years gone by. He keeps his distance and thinks of the memories he cherishes till the day that he shall die. He knows she has no more tears left to cry. Yet, he ponders if he'd just let that fight go and would've put his pride aside. She'd still be with him hand in hand and wear his ring to become his bride. He now stays away from relationships as 11 left him bitter and cruel. He gave his heart away, every time and always to someone new. Like a stubborn mule, the scars make no difference as its her, he seeks in every woman that he may find. Love leaves you merciless and blind. Like a useless instrument or tool he sits with a smile on his face thinking of the memories he can't and never will erase. Love is blind and yes tis but cruel. Sometimes all you desire to remain as is a lovefool.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

If only

He laid back in bed with the sun beaming through his window pane. He looks beside the pillow that lays bare. He looks up at the ceiling and begins to stare. As the mystical memories of her passing through his imaginary mind. He searched for answers he did not find. He remained blinded by her love and didn't see the truth. For her it was a magical night and she found him cute. He fell in love with her from the moment they met. He was another heart she broke, and never wanted to say a vow 'till death' as a symbolic clock. All he could remember was the smell of her skin, the taste of her lips. Alas! That's when reality grips, like a slow poison that slips through his veins. He remained mesmerized by her elegance and charm. He wanted love and that was her alarm. Calm was his thoughts when he pictures her smile. He woke up out of his bed, as he usually did. Slipped his feet into his slippers and marched off to his loo. Brushed his teeth always thinking about her, through and through. He couldn't imagine how beautiful she was and wished she said bye before she left. Her dimples and smile and that beautiful pout and cleft. He sat at his table with his leftovers as breakfast to spare. His appetite disappeared as all he could do was stare at his plate. He shook his head and smiled even though for work he was running late. He put on his clothes and rushed for the door. Runs back for his cane, indeed to forget it, for a blind man in this busy city would be a pain. He surged through the city and found his train. Sat back and wondered how her thoughts drove him insane. If only he could witness her beauty without a touch. If only his eyes could picture her as such. If only we had his sense of vision and could clearly see. A woman and her eternal beauty. If we were blind and needed to only but touch to notice her render a smile. We would appreciate her beauty for all the while. If only we had to kiss her lips to embrace her essence and smell her desire. We would be better at keeping a woman's love effervescent like a church choir. Sometimes it's better to be blind to appreciate a woman's beauty which you can't see. Tis then you can love her for all eternity.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A woman's beauty defined

A woman is so well defined by the emotions she just can't hide. She finds love in all the wrong places, and her soul loses its traces. Her disgraces eats her alive, here is something we don't know  about her, or when we try to look into mind. Her beauty and kindness for all to see, no woman is ever ugly. There was a special girl I once knew. The most beautiful woman she did turn into. Her description is easy yet words are hard to find. You'd understand her beauty even if you were blind. Her skin so gentle, and her eyes so brown that the raw sandalwood could frown. Her hair smelt fresher than a daisy with dew. I was lucky to love her, to let her go I know I'm cruel. Her smile so radiant, the sun basked brighter each day. Her hugs so warm it would push my sorrows away. Her laughter could wake your soul. I'd kiss her forehead to see her eyes close and forever wish to have her to hold. The pout of her lips was the most adorable thing. I wasn't her reckoning tis her that was my sin. She'd hold my hand as tiny as her palm could get. She even loved the smell of my sweat. Her beauty wasn't matched by anyone to this day and age. Her heart beats in my chest now uncaged. Her rage and fury was mellowed by me alone. Blessings upon the soul that faced her wrath. She stole my soul and me her heart. She had no choice but a new journey to start. She'd burst into tears if the tiniest bit hurt. She was strong enough to pick herself up and wipe off the dirt. She didn't need me as her shield. She fought her own battles yet showed me her vulnerabilities, which made me think she needed me. I was young and foolish not to understand. The woman I had was so unique, so grand. I sit back pondering on what and how things might have been. She was indeed my sin, she is part of my soul which I dearly hold. No woman can ever take her place. No woman can ever have such beauty upon her face. See most men forget the strength and uniqueness a woman can and does possess. She goes through the ultimate test. She waits to hear her man applaud her actions, her smile broadens in a second's fraction. She waits to be held in the arms of the one she loves. She longs to be told she is beautiful and wanted. She waits for her scars to heal and watch the memories no longer daunting. She is special and created to love. Submissive she may be, take her for granted and her anger you will see. All women are created beautiful and to be loved. God sits in heaven and admires his handiwork from above. She is his masterpiece that can steal your soul and stick to you with love  like vines on a grape that it holds. Her beauty is to be admired and not molested or raped. She is woman so well defined men need to stop crossing the line of yellow tape. If a woman is created to be beautiful, caring, and kind. A man is to cherish her beauty at all times. Let's stop the rape, teasing and molestation too, we sometimes act like patients from an asylum of the mentally ill. I know it's a bitter pill, lets be gentlemen still.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks (Masculinist)

The Last Dance

He walks the earth as a lonely soul, he found several girls he couldn't love nor hold. One day he walks by to a banquet he didn't have any intention to go. Her radiant glow and the sparkle in her eyes, made the chandeliers light quite subtle and mild. He walked by and on a bended knee asked 'may I have this dance milady'. She acknowledged and obliged, as they waltz through the halls all night. Not a care in the world about the others around. Her head on his shoulder and she didn't make a sound. Her beautiful brown eyes glistening under the light, her face fell gently on his stubble and this felt right. They finally stopped dancing to sip on a drink. That's when he began to think. His intentions were clear and in her eyes resided joyful tears. A mere moment for one to cherish as this treasure hunt, for love gave way to this chase. Once out of place and now infront of him stood this beautiful face. With eyes as brown as the fur of a bear, locks so long and smooth to silk even one can't compare. She stared into his soul with just a glance as he held her hand for one last dance. She glanced up at the clock to notice the time with surprise as if she commited a crime. He walked her to a distance and she went on her way. Wondering if she'd ever see him again, she loved his company and missed his presence being near. Not seeing him again was her biggest fear. She thought about him night and day, and he laid down in bed with her face running in his mind in every possible way. He wondered if he has committed a sin dancing with a fallen angel isn't a grace of God kinda thing. For her beauty is incomparable to a mortal woman of earth, for one to ponder and think. She tried her best to hide her wedding ring. She couldn't tell him that she was the mother of two, he didn't have the slightest clue. He kept himself engrossed and tried his best to find her. People told him otherwise, yet he remained like a horse with blinders. Till one day their paths crossed again with a child in her arms and she held the hand of another. He saw that and knew he fell in love with the beauty of a wife and mother. Adultery is sin he is very familiar with, he didn't let the knife slit his wrists for another heart break. He smiles thinking he danced with an angel so divine. He didn't want to break her marriage and family to be ripped apart. He just picked up the pieces of his broken heart. He respected his moment and had one last glance. With the most beautiful woman he had his wonderful dance. He gazed upon her husband as he stared at every woman who walked by. He wondered how blinded the soul is to let her prance by. Sometimes we don't respect the love we have, we look for solice in everything that makes us pleased and glad. Pleasure is momentary gain. One man's treasure is another man's pain.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

No more tears left to cry

He sits by the window and watches the trees rustle in the wind. He plays his favourite song and begins to sing. He's dressed up for his wedding like he did a few years ago. She left him alone at the alter and he nothing but his pride to show. He keeps her ring in his pocket, taking it once in a while. He looks at the glittering diamond and begins to lose his smile. He sips on his glass of whiskey, and thinks about the reason why. She sits with her child and wonders if the mistake she made would cost her so dearly her life. She didn't have the heart to tell him that the child she carried wasn't his. He watches the birds fly back to their nest on an evening filled with bliss. He wished he could kiss her forehead and watch the sparkle in her eyes. He wished he could hold her and tell her he loved her even after all those lies. He may not be able to love another anymore. He wishes she'd come walking through the door. The glow of her skin was his radiant light. Especially when he'd hold her through the night. He'd always apologize after every fight just to watch her smile. No body could break his pride until he went to hell for a while. Beguiling his emotions and now heartless he remains, causing nothing but heartbreaking emotional pain. He gains from hurting others and take pleasure in doing the same. He'll never say I love you to another woman again. His one true love alas couldn't be happier, that she has a family of her own. No matter how many times he tries to call she just wouldn't pick up that phone. She'd burst into tears while he sits back growing older with the passing years. His fears grow stronger and kills all his emotions dry, he has no more tears left to cry.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

A promise well kept

Sitting by the open fire watching as the logs burn. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes as the memories in his mind pass by. The logs burning crackle in the flame. He has only but himself to blame. His love for grew stronger as the fire blazed higher. She was his drug that had his heart and captivated her soul. He didn't want to leave but she had an ace up her sleeve which made him always stay two steps of her everyday. He'd wake up each morning to watch her sleep, he'd kiss her forehead and her smile was priceless as could be. She loved every inch of him and nothing mattered more. They both wished they would grow old together. They lasted for years but couldn't complete a decade. His sweat, his touch, his kiss, was all that, but she did miss. Her name was on his lips every moment he wished for her near. Tears stream down his face as he thinks about how his fingers always found her beautiful face. Her brown eyes melted his heart, her hugs were his morning jumpstart. Her kisses were like his ecstasy and always made him close his eyes. Now his soul has died and he can't relate as to how he fell so madly in love. Was it from the moment he held her hand or when her angelic face captured his soul. He has no one to love and doesn't have her to hold. She moved forward while he sat back and pondered what went wrong. She found another behind his back, she didn't have the strength to deal with that. Walking away was her only choice stay back to fight was what he did ever since he was a boy. She didn't know how she hurt and he didn't know how he felt the pain. He never ever remained the same. The logs burn out and the fire doused soon. He walked towards the cliff and looked up at the  glaring moon. He sits down and wonders what comes next. He leaps forward to his death. He crashed to the ground from a height unaccounted. He smiled as his soul left his body so mounted. He left the earth and his heart beated the last for the woman he loved dearly. He kept his promise till my last breath, and embraced his inevitable death.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks