Broken Pieces Of Me

He sits down under the moonlit sky with his broken heart, yet, not a tear in his eye but only their memories to cart. He looks up at the heavens and whispers her name, which lingers on his un-kissed lips wishing he could un break his heart. He felt his hope slipping as day by day on his relationship he did lose his grip. He misses her beautiful face and the feeling on her fingertips on his skin, which always made his heart skip a beat as she was his beautiful sin. The sound of her laughter and the glint in her eyes as he'd tickle her feet. He'd hold her close as she was his treasure to keep. The taste of her body and the smell of her hair was his intoxication as he did sleep, she was all along the woman who'd be shown the most amount of love and care by no one would be allowed into his life so deep. Her finger fitted perfectly between his, her smile blossomed and grew beautiful from the time they both were children. He grew up knowing not what love is and she grew up knowing not who could steal her heart. He was always first and took her breathe away with ease. Yet she wasn't the one you could easily please. Swayed away by strangers in a world he protected her from, she chose another and took her 8 years to realise their relationship was done. She needed her freedom and tried every one else to see if they could steal her heart too. But she went back to the memories of him which she all along did cart and told herself she will always come back to you. She was a little naive and gullible all the same. She missed his presence and wished she had worn his ring to earn his last name. The pain they both feel can't be measured as he treasured her every moment of his life. Now he dreams about the memories they created throughout his entire life, she closes her eyes and wonders what it would be like to be his wife. We tend to look for happiness in things that entice us most, forgetting what's infront of us which we once so dearly held close. Look not to entice and build your walls high. A stranger comes by to steal what's precious and breaks you from the inside. We participate willingly and can't consider it a crime, people steal not only our heart but also our years and time.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Hidden

A ghastly scare and he awakes from broken slumber. Gazing into the darkness as to touch and hold her again he does but hunger. His nightmares are constant as thoughts of her in his dreams warm his soul. He promised he'd love her all those years ago. The smell of her skin begins to kill him and he so well does know. No amount of rain can wash away the pain which always grows. He's stuck in the past, yet wears a smile upon that mask. He kissed her lips but loved her soul, he touched her face and she was his mortal sin. She will not leave his heart and his mind breaks him from within. As children their love grew and he was always there. The fault was his own, as she lost hope and forgot how much he does care. Pain has made him stronger and he has never had any tears to cry. Loving her was amazing, he never really wanted to say goodbye. Young love, as they say always runs wild and free, yet he's left with the broken pieces which needs her and doesn't  let him see. While she has closes her eyes and sleeps peacefully with someone who loves her more than he could ever do. How did this turn out is something he never knew. He isn't lonely, he just misses her and that's true. He never stopped loving her, he just learnt to hide his feelings better from her so nobody knew. 

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks  

Charred Halo

 He always walked down this narrow path, his halo charred and his broken mask. His soul distraught with memories of his past. The choices he made weren't always right, he always smiled and put up the good fight. The reminiscent feeling of holding her near, the taste of her lips is a pain he no longer has to endure. He feared if his brokenness would bend his will. The storm came and tried and he stood still. She isn't around as he reaches out for her hand, he can see what's planned. He chose to stay away after all these years, he sees how happy she is and that leaves him in tears. His fears resurface, and he recollects the time he picked up himself and left all this heart ache behind. He smirks with anger yet vengeance didn't seep back into his heart. He watched her stay happy and left his sorrows and memories of her which tore him apart. He looked up to the heavens and knew why God took away his feelings of and handed him his heart of stone. He doesn't care to cry for her as time does fly. He just walks away stronger thinking live and let die. 

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

From the cradle to the grave

She longed for space, and he waited in the same place. Traces of his shattered heart, love indeed, tore him apart, he fell for her deeply and she didn't understand. He called her his woman, she lied when she said you're my man. Alcohol and nicotine are no longer his friends. He remembers the times they spent. The walks, the conversations and the moment that lasts so true. He never thought his memories of her would be but a few. He grew stronger but his soul is broken and weak. Her beautiful smile and her eyes he'd look into with his piercing glare. He'd sit for hours admiring her beauty as he'd stare. She never knew what this was called and he didn't give it a term. He'd always stick by her like teeth with morning germs. He yearns for her touch and begs God to take away his pain. He is no longer what we call sane. Her gentleness, as her voice calmed his soul while rage built in his mind. He'd always think about her till the end of time. She walked into his life like a calming breeze, and swayed away without the memories. He sits in his darkness and ponders where did he go wrong. He had to break his promises tis but something he hates to do. He never will trust anyone else, including himself or you. The smell of her skin reaks through his nose. As his desire to lay his eyes upon her one more time, stronger it grows. His demons were once upon a time his foe, they are now allies and hold him close. Along with his angels and he hates that fact. She isn't mine anymore tis his bitter pill to swallow. His soul is now empty and but hollow. Her fingertips on his arm he feels till this day. He counted every mole on her body without her knowing in anyway. Obsession is a dangerous feeling and he hates that about himself. He tells not this brokenness for sympathy to be felt. He tells of this tale as people understand pain. Giving your heart away has a price to pay, if she walks away leaving you with your soul in a cage and a razor on the wounds when your beard you do shave. Problem is he is but a fool who will love her from the cradle to the grave.

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

Tis her heart I own

He sat by the night sky waiting all day to hear her voice over the phone. That call never came and he sat counting the stars alone. She stole his heart with just her smile, she didn't understand how he felt about her inside. She became his pride and he basked in her glory. Holding her hand was just the beginning on his love story, her eyes changed colour everytime he was around, her touch on his arm made him feel the calm and placed his feet firmly on the ground. He never told her those three words which people abuse, yet she knew what she meant to a man who's sticks to her like glue. Her hair so perfect and the smell of her skin so mild they'd intoxicate his soul all the time. Her thoughts run through his mind like the stream that flows through a river. When she whispered in his ear his spine would quiver. Her breathe on his shoulder would make him want to hold her close. She sparked up a side of his which he killed for years at the most. She placed her lips on another and her name was stuck on his. He felt betrayed and yet he forgave, she made her way back into his heart. He kept the promises he made. She slowly pushed him aside and never intended to stay. The distance killed his spirit and you can't break what's already shattered to bits. She left a scar so deep that reality can't bring him to grip. He is but a fool to understand not says the world. He always did choose the wrong girl. He looks upon his reflection and sees the scars and lives in pain. He sits in his darkness and counts the scars over and over again. He waits for her return tis her smile that he yearns,  once again to have her hand to hold and say proudly tis her heart I own. Till that day comes he places her name on his lips repeating "flesh of my flesh and bone of my bone, tis your heart I own".


Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Trust and Love

She gave her heart to a man she thought she did know. He gave a broken promises to hold on to as together they grew old. She loved the sound of his voice, he made her his option and never first choice. She tried so hard to hold his hand in every moment she got. He always made excuses to spend time away from her even though they hardly fought. She loved him dearly and wished he'd tell her that too. He teased her and hurt her in public her self esteem never grew. She'd pray for him each night that he'd become a better man. He'd always look for other women to be with yet he never planned. She dreamt of a wedding fit for a queen. She pictured herself at the altar saying her vows to him was reality to be seen. Quite keen was her heart to say she belonged to him. Good women love the wrong men and that's their sin. On a cold rainy night he walked into a church. He bent his knees and folded his hands and smelt the cold moist dirt. He asked for forgiveness and told God he'd try to change in every thing he did once do. Tears streaming down his face, as he remembered what his parents put eachother through. He was doing something he promised himself as a child of a tender age. He promised himself he'd be better than the man he never looked up to. He ran as fast as he could and knocked on her door even though she was but fast asleep. As the door swung open he held her close and he did bitterly weep. He apologized and said his promises he'd keep till the day he did die. Out came from the other room a man enquiring "who's this guy?". A friend who's emotionally disturbed and need me to be there she replied. He stood on her porch drenched from tears and the rain. He said "I love you" and always will no matter how hard the circumstances get or how steep life bends. She wept so hard and said "I can't, cause the other man at home is my husband". Shattered and destroyed he stepped back and tried to hold himself together. He then realised there was something strange about the weather. He smiled and kissed her forehead saying one day I'll understand. She led him on to believe she loved him and tis her plan. He walked to the church and bent his knees to pray once again. He wished his life was back to normal. Unfortunately it was never going to be the same. He finds it hard to trust someone, he hates the words "I love you". He stays as far away from everyone cause one person destroyed a future so true. People call him deranged, shallow and dark from the start. There is always a woman who betrayed a man behind a broken heart. Trust and love is a gift with a heavy price to pay. If you can't fulfill that price, those three wonderful words is something you shouldn't say. 

Written and composed by

Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

It wasn't meant to be

She walked by him, and her fragrance swirled through the air. As she passed by he couldn't stop himself but stare. Her straight brown hair whisked with her stride. Her lips so soft parted by a smile. The most beautiful creature of a woman his eyes laid fixed upon. He thought about her from dusk till dawn. Embedded in his heart, he prayed for her happiness everyday. He didn't know her name. Yet her beauty clung to him like a bee to a flower in the wind. She'd be a man's blessing and not his sin. He knew he never caught her eye and always pictured her radiant smile. Thoughts of holding her hand, made his toes tingle. A woman that beautiful can't be single. He told himself to forget and move forward cause he can't deal with lament. He watched her pass by him after a few years had gone by. She lost her smile and her tears dried her pride. Never did he work up the nerve to even ask her for her name. He still saw her beauty all the same, one fine day. He saw her quietly seated, he asked if she'd mind if he said hi and greeted. She said she was waiting on a friend who was stopping by, he looked through her soul and noticed the lie. He smiled and wished her the time before her friend came. She said it out loud, "Kaitlyn", Kaitlyn is my name. She stretched out her hand and he felt her soft skin as he shook it in delight. She said it's a pleasure to meet you. Milady, the pleasure is mine to acquaint with you too. They talked for hours and he noticed the bruises on her arm and neck. He quietly sat by and smiled as he analysed every scar and her almost nearing death. Years went by and their bond grew stronger without any regret. He met her one fine day in the pouring rain, he knew quite well she was a victim of physical abuse. He loved her dearly and didn't want fear to grip her if his feelings were to be let loose. They stayed the closest friends and on that day she held another man in her arms with an umbrella to shade her from the rain so hard. She handed him her wedding card. Saying you have to be there your my best friend. He smiled and said "definitely, I'm here for you till the end". He watched her at the altar exchange her vows. The most beautiful bride he'd ever seen made him only say "wow". She was full of joy and breaking out with glee. He said to himself it wasn't meant to be me, she and her new found love walked out the church door. He went back to being a recluse that was the only life he did know. Sometimes it's okay to love someone for all eternity from a distance, your soul and heart for them will still grow. Watching them happy is satisfaction one will never know. If you love someone and you see them happy, don't question yourself and take a guess do I love them? Are they gonna say yes? All you can do keep them in your heart and bless. Happiness shall follow you no matter how difficult the test.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks