Prized possession

The heart of a woman is a prize to earn. We fight so hard to make sure we win. See a relationship is easy as sin. Love her with your soul from within. As her beauty sparks desire, her beautiful eyes can set your soul on fire. You can't get tired enough of her hand in your. As the touch of her skin lingers through your pores. You watching her smile is the best part of your day. As her embrace makes the pain go away. Her life is barren with you near, your life in turn will bring forth tears. How do you know that she is special.  As you watch her sleep at night you know your cold heart is melting.  You kiss her forehead to see her eyes close. Your her shelter and she your precious rose. You try so hard to protect her from the world that chooses to cause harm. She kisses your lips to keep your violent temper calm.  You catch her tears that she always cries. You try to fix the pain that broken her from the inside. Your soul died and she brought you back to life. She may not be your wife but she is all that you need. She is the woman with the key to your happiness indeed. No one can figure out what love is all about.  No one walks through the tunnel of darkness without any doubt.  Your mouth speaks volumes of her in praise. You cherish the moments and count the days. For your eyes need to see her again.  Your heart is pained by the absence life holds. This is a love story foretold.  Which lasts a lifetime till we grow old. So keep her heart and don't let go, for you lose the person you would want to grow old with.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

My sweetest sin

Her beauty was always present to capture my soul. Her beautiful brown eyes took a part of me at whole. The motive was clear, the fear didn't stop me from reaching the goal. Her heart to win was my prize. Her deceit and lies were the hidden disguises. As time flies by I think about her beautiful face, I now realize as many have come none can take your place. The feeling of me holding you tight, keeping you safe while you sleep through the night. Her perfume was my intoxicating vibe, I imagined you one day to be my bride. We ride through life's endless journey and maze. The passion we shared for eachothers time left us in a craze. Her hair on my face says she is happy as she sleeps and breathes heavily with delight. With her hand in mine I took on the world in a fist fight. The touch of her skin as her goosebumps arose from slumber. I miss your favorite chillipowder and cucumber.  I ponder every moment how those 7 years past by. The memories sometimes bring tears of joy to my eyes. The sparkle in your eyes when I kiss your forehead and cannot be matched. To your soul I once was attached, the taste of your lips stuck with me throughout the day. The smile on your face told me how badly you missed me in everyway.  The hugs you gave me took away my anxiety.  The fights we had still gave me tranquility.  You laid my heart down with regret and time that I didn't have for you to spare. The obsession for you kept you close. Your absence is what I now miss the most. Yet it was so amazing to have you in my life. I was stuck on your love like a paper to glue. Yes I had to leave and I was without a clue. I stole the heart that now belongs to the one you call your own. You always wanted to hear me on the telephone when I wasn't around.  I was lost without your love till I was finally found. You were my queen and me you king.  I am happy I was once indulging in you as my sin.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

Emotionaless

The dreams of a broken heart can never be mended. The good that heart possesses is evident and intended.  On bended knees he pleaded for mercy to make the memories fade. He was always meant to be broken with every slice of life's sharp blade. Delayed was his happiness and momentarily did his joy last. Now he walks the face of the earth wearing a smile as a mask that fades so fast. He asks God a question about why he lives in despair.  He was but created only to love a care. He stares up at the sky. Watching the days pass by, he holds back the fear. And lives a lonely lie, he doesn't cry, nor does he remember a prayer that once lingered on his lips. He feels her skin on his as she closes her eyes while he touched her face with his fingertips. reality grips a hold of his life, as he thought she'd one-day be his wife. He remains happy and joyful in his life. To know he is but alone, his spirit has grown like the tree that stands. He started to rebuild his walls, which no woman will find easy to break. He knows the reflection in the mirror is someone who will never forsake. The rustling wings of a bird caught in between a rope is how he flutters to break free.  thank God the world doesn't see the real me. Shattered is his heart with no remorse does he conceal.  The memories though remain a pest. As I now remain emotionless.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

The empty soul

I look down the barrel of an empty bottle. As I watch my heart pass by at full throttle. I hobble and grab what's left of my dignity.  As I hang my head in shame of the past that lingers within me. Shattered were always the piece of what I once called a heart.  Replaced by memories I now cart. I start to wonder if I am wrong, I start to think of the reasons I clung on. Like a pawn to a chess board I sacrifice what's real. Like a bait to fish when bitten I silently scream. Tears have run dry, I can no longer cry. Wondering what comes next as we did bid goodbye. Yes I am gaining back what remains of my pride. I have this shell to crawl back into to avoid my soul from dying. I'm tried of being the doormat with all the cheating and lying. Trying to cope with life is hard, especially when. You have to look at how badly you've been scared. Your heart is as cold as the winter wind, you aren't filled with grief coz she was your sin. Your remorse is the reflection you see in the mirror, one-day death shall draw near. You will then cheer and embrace it with utmost joy. You'd no longer be someone's wound up toy. You did so well for so many years to build yourself up from all the tears. The anger inside me burns with an eternal flame. How did I let someone break me again. I look now at my reflection with sheer disgust. I crave for peace as a man does a woman's body with lust. I wish for peace as I rest momentarily. I wish for tranquility never to desert me. The sound of silence is deaffing, to such an extent, I'm choking on my fear of the love I temporarily lent. Bent is my pride and broken is my soul. Torn by the world, destroyed and cold.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

Nobody's child

She watched me grow up and she held me close. She gave me a handkerchief for my running nose. She feed me when I was hungry and wiped my tears dry. The she was always there until she died. God gave me a gift, which I hoped I could have cherished longer. She always held my hand to make me stronger.  She bore me in pain, yet she love me when I was troublesome and drove her insane. She was my mother in a a physical sense, and angel from above is what made things a suspense. I miss her everyday, and think about her every moment of my life. No one to hug me before I rest my head at night. She isn't around when I now need her the most, I walk the earth as a wandering ghost. Her presence is gone I can't feel her around.  My feet hit the ground all alone you aren't two steps behind me anymore. If only you knew how much I cared, if only you knew how much I'd give up for me to have my mother back. I know one-day you will look down from heaven and see me I know one-day you will be proud to know how well I survived lonely and hurt. That one-day will be when I return to the ground. Most people don't value the woman who gave them birth with love all around.  Never to seek and always to be needed a found.  These are the moments I miss you the most mama. I remain broken and lost, I fall so fast with no one hold. I wish you were around to make me feel less scared, now I hold my self look up to the heavens wondering if you remember me from up there. I know i always troubled you so much as a child. I know i grew up young and wild. Right now it's just me myself and i coz I'm nobody's child.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks

Me, myself and I

One-day fine day I will no longer cry. My tears will finally run dry, I will be cold yet will want no hand to hold. My soul may die as it enters the black hole. I will ride solo till I grow weak. One-day tis not love that I will seek. I will slumber with my demons that keeps my writhing in pain.  One-day my reflection in the mirror will not let me see shame. One-day on the curtain call, I shall be no more the shadow of the man I once was. My strength shall be the cause, of me being sane. Saved in the nick of time from above , I shall be sick of the same old love. Her voice shall no longer ring in my head, I shall no longer walk the earth with a soul that is dead. No longer will I feel her fingers on mine. The taste of her lips will be my crime. The smell of her skin shall be my sin. I will not lie she is but missed by my soul. For I have her heart no more to hold. Hence, my love is what makes me die.  I will be back one-day to just me, myself and I.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks 

I've become a memory

Sometimes you become the memories of her past. You wear on this smiling mask to let the world see how wonderful it can be. Yet you cry when you see her texts. With tears in your eyes you reply to the rest. You long for her fingers between yours to keep the feeling fresh. You remember her beautiful brown eyes that let's you fall in love with her every single time. Letting her go remains fresh in your mind, that painful feeling in your chest. The moments of joy like the dead now rest. You wish she knew how much you cared, how much you needed her and you were always there. She thought you weren't in love, but little did she know that's all God created you to do. Never to be loved in return, never for her heart for you to be earned. I learned the hard way once again in that she never wanted to be mine. You wake with the sunrise only to find. She slips away like the hands of time. She is not your future as you once dreamed. She cannot love you as it seemed.  So never make promises you can never keep, never tell someone you love them when you know you don't. It is but a temporary token. I will one-day feel no more pain for you cannot break what is already broken.

Written and composed by
Timothy Justin Rudolph Rodricks